Having been told by some to read a different book, I am, chosen by an amazing girl I know.  After all, I’m not the expert – im a novice here.

Fascinating so far!

As well as being funny. ..

( and this was sent to me by a lady, who had just congratulated me on my progress)

How come it took you 28 years to work out that women just need to be asked how they are/how their day was? Only took me 27.
M

I just,  by accident, put the telly onto Coronation Street.

A bald bloke was just shooting a woman in a wedding dress, and then he got stabbed immediately by another woman, right in his sternum, presumably leading to his death. I don’t know for sure as I turned over straight away.

The last time I even saw it briefly Hilda was talking to Stan about tea bags.

Christ. What’s the world come to?

So I had a pint of lager and I was fine.

I then had 2 ice creams, from a pack of 6.

My stomach bloated immediately almost, horribly.

I think that seals it – im definitely intolerant to dairy. I’ve not had any for a while and then I do, and BANG…

Knowledge is control.

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/devotees-the-secret-world-of-people-with-a-fetish-for-disabilities-explored-in-documentary-a6930031.html

Devotees… aka The Enlightened…?

😂

What you, as a Male, have to ask them, as females, is ‘ how was your day?’

I can absolutely say, that in all my 51 years i had NEVER, until the last 2 days, asked anyone that question. In fact, on thinking about it, I realised and remember that when I was asked it, and it’s definitely only by females, I’d always think ‘ what kind of vague question is that, it’s a bit of a cop out sort of question that you’d ask if you weren’t really interested in thinking of a more specific and interesting question to ask me ‘ So (for me ) it was a slightly irritating thing to ask, and I’d always just say ‘ it was fine, thanks’ and that was it, as I just wanted to move on..to something less tedious and more exact.

I don’t know if all men think this way? Possibly or probably not – no idea, as I haven’t asked anyone Male, but it’s now apparent to me that for 50% of the population it’s the most important question a man could ask, and it would never lose that priority.

One of  the several ‘ reasons ‘ ( in the divorce petition from my Ex ) was this same thing. I wasn’t asking her how her day had been…I remember reading that bit and thinking that it was a really strange thing to have in there, as I hadn’t asked that question once in 28 or so years, so why was it suddenly an issue? Well suddenly now I think I get it. I think it was probably in there as a terrible crime for a man to commit, though only 50% of the world would even be aware that it was remotely bad?! So any female lawyer or Judge would definitely get it, as probably would any Male divorce lawyer, as presumably they are used to it being a ‘crime against the wife’. Presumably the Ex was advised to include it in the petition by her lawyer, as i’d certainly never said it to her,  and she wasn’t in the habit of asking me either, and that’s a definite ( although obviously she might have a different recollection, depending on the ‘ level of honesty ‘ expressed )

Anyway, I digress. What’s obvious is that men and women don’t think in the same way. What to a man (me) might be the world’s dullest question, is to a woman an opportunity to talk and ( more importantly ) be listened to, as that’s what they like a lot, and is usually the war cry ‘ YOU NEVER LISTEN ‘ ( meaning ‘ you don’t care about me’ ). To repeat, a man doesn’t have to actually say anything- just listen to the words ( or appear to ) that pour out of her lovely ( ish ) mouth. No advice or ‘ help’ is required- if you do that then you are effectively saying that you know better than her how to run her life… which is offensive to her, even though your motives are good.

So then, what a man can’t say is ‘ well I was only trying to help!’ ( as that’s what he thought she was asking for ) as that means you ‘ just don’t get it, do you, you condescending bas**** !’

What a complicated dynamic it is?! I was talking to my Male help about this, and he said ‘ and then there’s the one week in every 4 when everything you say is wrong anyway, plus the effects of the full moon…’ I think it would help if ladies told their men about the dates of their monthly cycle and we all knew about the lunar calendar too – but there I go again being logical and ‘finding a solution ‘ which is probably not what they want to hear either.

So id say it’s probably impossible to ‘ get on’ all of the time, but again knowledge is power.

Of course the other thing is that the ladies could also read the book to find out how a man thinks. I got my copy from my girlfriend, who definitely rated it very highly.

That might be regarded as an unrealistic expectation, depending on the calendar.. he wrote humorously ( for the benefit of any and all doubt )

I know for one that I am wiser for my read.

* post absolutely not meant to belittle the effects of the menstrual cycle or menopause, which I know are many, though am no expert on.

Fascinating stuff on the blog again. Sorry to hear about the disappointments that have come your way this month. Not many people would put themselves out there like you do, and be vulnerable – kudos. And, of course, your sage advice to men will never, ever, be properly engrained in us; no matter how hard we try. But try we must!
Given my questions above, your experience at the airport highlights for me that as hard as we try as architects we can always be let down by ‘ourselves/ humans’ which is most unfortunate.

Finally, many thanks for the shout-out to us gingers on May 19. Recognition is long overdue!

Funnily enough I was on the end of some ginger humour this afternoon at work. But as I’m heading to Beijing next week where we gingers are held in high regard due to our unique colouring [I hope that’s still the case anyway] I was able to let things slide!!

N

I have to thank Charlie P for suggesting I read that  book. I’d never in a million years thought that Charlie would be able to offer advice on the female sex, but there you go, I was wrong.

The most amazing thing is that it’s all really simple ( or at least the bits I’ve tried are, in the last few days )

The No 1 thing seems to be that females just want you to listen to them talking ( or at least looking as though you are ). And then ( and get this, fellas ) you don’t have to actually DO anything. You just have to listen and nod, maybe say yes, no, gosh, really and poor you… You don’t actually have to come up with any solutions or advice at all?! That’s actually the last thing they want you to do.

Its a male instinct to just think ‘ she’s asking me for a solution, so I’ll tell her what to do, by being helpful ‘ but actually that’s REALLY NOTwhat she wants- she just wants to tell you how hard her life is, and for you to sympathise.

How bonkers is that? Men will never understand the logic for sure, but that’s not the point. You haven’t got to be logical – you just have to listen.

Crazy but true.

And it works! I’ve been trying it, and all you get is smiles??! Seriously you couldn’t make it up.

Simples!

Russ my take on handling women

1. Dont try to win every battle just the war
2. Otherwise they think you are a twat and will bring there little incidents up ,as they remember all the detail, long after we have forgotten
3. Win the war when what you were thinking in 1 above comes true
4. women think they work harder ,have more to do – men stroll through life – no point in arguing just let them think that.
when we have to step in calmly and sort things out as men they know deep down they are wrong. all in all its best to bite ones lip knowing thex are talking bollocks but having the comfort inside of knowing you are right otherwise its endless confrontation and women find it hard to let things be in the part, unlike us.

The World According To Mickey Smith