Thé SCI forum that I belong to seems to have turned to the subject of sex, down to an 18 year old  ( and intelligent ) lad that’s injured, and wants to know as much as possible from the longer term injured blokes. The females are obviously free to pitch in as well, it being a mixed gender group.

The site is awash with factual details about post paralysis sex. For the injured males it’s something that is absolutely devastating to begin with – have you lost your ‘ maleness ‘ because you ‘ can’t perform ‘ like before ? I remember my first months/ years even  and the notion that you are incredibly diminished as a man, perhaps akin to being genitally mutilated for a woman, and also having masectomy surgery?

Years later and you have realised hopefully that whilst it’s very different, it’s not over.  I now understand that it’s apparently also the first thing  lots of people think – ‘ well does it still work down below ? I mean if he can’t feel anything, then presumably he never wants sex, right?’

To know what’s being discussed you’d have to be a member of the group. Some can still feel sensation below the waist to varying degrees – some in just a certain area only, and some not at all – like myself. For some Viagra works very well, and for some it doesn’t, regardless of sensation. Just because you cannot feel it obviously doesn’t mean that your girlfriend can’t, which changes the dynamic for sure – youre effectively watching her have sex with you, and you get your pleasure from her pleasure.

What is the general consensus though is that because it’s much more about giving than receiving, it is definitely not a case of Wham Bam thank you Mam, wipe it on the sheet, roll over and snore… anymore. All the mâles that have contributed have said that their women can’t believe their luck, and far from missing out, they feel very lucky…that the dynamic has shifted and they are the focus now. Thé paralysed girls haven’t been quite so forthcoming, and some have said that their Male partners have sometimes lost all interest ( as what’s the point if she can’t feel it ?) but others have said that their blokes are very happy indeed.

Whats for sure is that it definitely doesn’t have to be over if you don’t want it to be, and lots are extremely ‘ happy ‘ eventually, having come to terms with the ‘ new situation ‘

Personally – well that would be telling, wouldn’t it   . You’d have to ask my girlfriend why she’s always smiling, I imagine?