Monthly Archives: June 2019

Colin White.

And my dear friend Colin White died on the weekend. It wasn’t exactly unexpected, but nonetheless a shock when it came.

Colin was a significant man in the lives of many that he touched. He was my buddy Dan’s father, Dan that I’ve often written about in this diary, and for 20 years was Pia’s father in law. Both Dan and Pia were at his side when he drew his last breath.

Colin left a lot of legacy behind him, far more than most people can dream of leaving. Legend is very overused these days as a description of someone, but this fella actually was. I’ll write about some things he did for me in due course.

Rest in Peace Colin, you will never be forgotten by those that met you, that’s for sure!


So Fanny becomes…


Thanks to The Mighty Myatt for that suggestion. Taffy is actually a nickname for someone from Cardiff/ Wales. Whilst I realise that the bird is Australian genetically, he still may have hatched in Wales, who knows, so I’ve given him an identity and nationality. I stroked Fanny for the last time and put all that behind me ….


Breaking news. Wait for it…

Fanny, my darling budgie…


A …


Well either that or it’s a very horny lesbian that’s very frustrated and identifies as a Male.

The friendly preening and beak play that followed the introduction of Fanny and Tweety soon turned into Fanny repeatedly trying to shag Tweety senseless…

Ok then!

It doesn’t seem right to call Fanny Fanny anymore, so renaming will have to take place and I think I ought to ready myself for the creation of a flock… the Birdman of Brentford might be be moniker in a few months time?

I’ve had to separate them for now, as I think Tweety was possibly somewhat harassed by my ( until then ) sweet little lady budgie…

Good Grief, that’s a turn up!

Try again then.

Having seen how excited Fanny was to have Dick around, at least until Dick just couldn’t take any more Fanny, and died, I found myself phoning the shop and telling them what had happened, with a view to planning a replacement boyfriend. The shop insisted they give me another little birdie of my choice.

Off I went then in my chair with a little Dick between my legs, wrapped in plastic, as I wanted them to see how he looked. I hadn’t really thought about what might happen if I was stopped and searched ( as I was stopped by the cops the other day ) for the officer to find a dead budgie in my lap.

I can imagine him saying ‘ Sir, do you realise you can’t transport a live bird in a tight plastic bag?! In fact, by the looks of it, you’ve killed it! ‘ Follow me to the station…

Anyway that didn’t happen and I got there, chose the budgie who’d actually been the previous roommate of Dick in the shop ( on the basis that having been exposed to Dick for several weeks he was evidently very well and perky – so I don’t think that what Dick had was catchy ) and I brought her home in a little cardboard box with holes in it provided by the shop.

Having disinfected the cage etc that Dick was in, its now the home of TweetyPie, and she seems very happy in there.

I’m going to keep them way apart from one another for a while to make sure Tweety doesn’t expire… but 24 hours on and she’s all active and chirpy.

The 2 of them are cheeping to one another from different rooms, and it’s very cute tbh.

I could see it coming.


Most people recognize the most obvious signs of illness in pet birds such as vomiting/regurgitating, loss of appetite, or the typical “fluffed up” appearance and sitting at the bottom of the cage birds show when they are very ill. But some signs of illness can be difficult to recognize such as subtle behavior changes, change of habits, vocalization changes, or variations in color or consistency of droppings. This is why it is so important to know what is normal for your bird: what time does he/she normally go to sleep? What is its favorite perch? How often does it speak/vocalize? How many droppings are normal for it to make in a day? What foot does he/she normally eat with? Never assume that a subtle change in your bird is normal as it could absolutely be a sign that something is wrong. Here is a brief list of some obvious and not so obvious signs of illness in birds:

  • Decrease or increase in appetite✅
  • Increase in urination
  • Increased drinking
  • Feather or skin changes✅
  • Discharge from the eyes or nostrils
  • Vomiting/regurgitating
  • Sneezing or wheezing
  • Limping
  • Fluffed feathers✅
  • Tail bobbing while breathing
  • Sudden behavior changes including biting or screaming
  • Decrease in activity level✅
  • Voice change
  • Change in flight ability✅
  • Spending more time on the bottom of the cage✅
  • Weakness or inability to perch✅
  • Overgrown or discolored beak
  • Change in droppings: color or consistency
  • Straining to poop
  • Wing or wings drooping
  • Diarrhea
  • Weight loss or weight gain
  • Blood on the bird or in the cage/on perches

Any of these changes, or any other changes recognized in pet birds, should be brought to the attention of an avian veterinarian to determine whether or not it is a sign of something more serious.

Wendy ( bless her ) suggested cremation and having his ashes made into something…. I only have the electric oven and a barbecue, so I’ll go with taking him back to where I got him from and let them do what they do, rather than have him dug up from my garden by one of next door’s several cats, or the local fox.

I think I’ll go to a different pet place to find another lil fella, in case the whole flock in the last place is infected with something that Dicky had….


I chose little Dicky Bird because he was the smallest of the lot in the shop, and I thought he needed looking after a bit. From the start he didn’t seem that coordinated in his flight, or have much energy ( compared to Miss Fanny )

Last night when we got home he was huddled in a corner of his little home, which I thought wasn’t a positive sign, so we put a little woolly hat in there for him to possibly sit in. However he just found a gap behind it and hid himself in there.

This morning Wendy got up to go to work and came back from the lounge in floods of tears. Yes, the little fella was in the same place but no longer with us.

I asked Wendy to take him out and wrap him in a little bag, so Fanny wouldn’t see him, and to reduce the chances of her being infected with something I suppose. They had never actually been in contact with one another so hopefully she’s fine.

Wendy texted me just now to ask me to check on Dicky in his plastic bag to see if perhaps he’d been in a coma, rather than deceased…. she asked me to leave a gap in the bag, when I pointed out that if he had been in a coma then he’d be dead now from a lack of oxygen?

My carer and I shall disinfect Dicky’s home and I’ll leave it a bit before seeking another chum for Fanny.

( no Monty Python Dead Parrot jokes please….)


Just been to watch Top Gun at an open air cinema. It’s like bloody November, not mid June out there…

Anyway, I remember seeing Top Gun the first time around and not really liking it that much.

Seeing it again, decades later, I see it’s essentially a film about ‘ who is marginally the least arrogant tosser, out of a whole line up of major tossers ‘.

Tom Cruise is painful, but as above is just about the least painful.

There are lots of bits of the young pilot types with their shirts off in it. What is it about 40+ women these days that they are so openly drooling over young blokes? It’s changed so much from a while back when it might have been men that expressed a bit of admiration for young totty, but in the presence of their female partners they’d not have shown it. Now though, women quite clearly with their husbands, who are also around other women, just seem to have no hesitation in expressing ‘their excitement ‘ at seeing a young, fit fella. I think if husbands did that they’d definitely be in the shit with their wives! Just a social observation of mine…

So Top Gun – bit of a classic, but a load of tosh really.


Thank you to my lovely cousin, Jason, who I have hardly seen since I’ve reached adult size ( and actually now I’m back to 4 feet I don’t know if it counts now ) and who spent HOURS configuring my complex audio visual bits and pieces. This stuff is all crazy technical now, and beyond most people including me.

Anyway… now it’s all working – sound inside and out, and through the amplifier comes all sorts of other stuff, so that’s good!

Update on the budgie status. – Fanny is perhaps a scary prospect for Dick …. who is well, rigid …. with ummm … rigidity ….I suppose. When Dick is eventually placed close to Fanny I hope he doesn’t get stage fright and disappoint her… relax lad, I say, and it’ll be better than you think!