Monthly Archives: May 2023

Right Charlie

Lovely to see my for ever mate Charlie last week.
Friends from Uni and even my Best Man in my ( ill fated ) wedding.
Just the best friend anyone could wish for.

Him, myself and a lady called Cherie went to see Around the World in 80 Days in Richmond.
Yes, you guessed it – got cheap tickets.

Charlie I appreciate you buddy!

Proud

I went to Proud Cabaret the other night.
Burlesque and dancing.
Yep, got cheap tickets.
Flirty Dancer was the show.
Now that’s a laugh for sure.

Raunchy, sexy and funny too.

Definitely go there if you want a memorable night.

Helen and I laughed a lot.
Apologies for embarrassing her.
Best I don’t say how.
🤦‍♂️😂

Groundhog Day.

I went to see the above at the Old Vic last night with my lovely friend Natalie.
Obvs I’d seen the film about 30 years ago but tbh couldn’t remember what happens in it other than the guy waking up and it’s always the same day, so exactly the same things happen over and over again.
Then he realises that he can change what happens each day by behaving differently to the people he sees ( every day ).
Like in A Wonderful Life, what happens is that he himself changes and realises that he can make the
day a better day for everyone that he interacts with.
And he does.
It’s a feel good play and it’s funny too.

I left with that feeling in my head.

I Triride’d all the 11 miles home because the weather was ok and the trains were all a bit delayed etc.

About half way home my glasses fell off my head and were in the middle of the road. I was at traffic lights on red. I called out to probably 10 different people that walked past me within 10 feet of me, asking them to help.
They were mostly young 20/30 year olds.
All of them completely ignored me. All of them could definitely see and hear me yet pretended they couldn’t.

Eventually a black guy got off his bicycle and picked up my glasses.
I’ve said before… black guys are always the most likely people to help me. Why is that I wonder?

I realised that most people actually don’t give a shite about anyone else. If a fella in a wheelchair at midnight is politely asking you to help him whilst he’s in the middle of a busy road and you ignore him completely, what are the chances of you helping anyone else in trouble?

In my case I think probably both my daughters would have kept on walking, and definitely my ex wife would have.
I’m blessed to have some fantastic friends that I think would probably help anyone at all that might have been in a wheelchair in the middle of the road, without it having been me in the chair.

The feel good factor of the play evaporated pretty quickly and hasn’t come back.

If you read this and aren’t a person that would help a stranger, then take a long hard look at yourself.

One day in the future it might be you in the wheelchair.

What an Exit.

My lovely old chum Natalie went to a funeral yesterday.
At the Crematorium at the end of the service comes the part where the coffin mechanically slides on the rollers and through the curtain – your last sight of the deceased, heading for the After Life.
A ‘departure’ song / music, chosen by the remaining partner usually, accompanies the Final Exit.
Well there was a evidently a cock up, as the classical music piece suddenly changed to ‘ Show me the Way to Amarillo ‘

The daughter of the deceased burst into tears whilst there was a desperate scrabble to turn the music off…

I mean that’s the stuff of urban legends that ought be told for decades.

Natalie, in between trying to remain sombre, obviously started giggling.

You literally can’t make it up.
😂

Yikes

Talk about the circle of life… in the natural world.
I buy a rat trap. Well ok that bit isn’t nature..
Rat gets caught in trap.
Bloody magpie swoops down.
Now there’s just half a rat.

Not long after magpie again – no rat at all.

It’s a dog eat dog world in the front gardens of Brentford!

( No dogs were killed in this story. It’s just an expression).

Carnage ahead.

Well the hi tech electric rat trap didn’t work.

Time for the traditional stuff.

Proper old fashioned heavy duty rat trap killing spring device.

It’s either that or one night possibly be eaten alive from the feet up.

I wouldn’t feel it til they got to my ribs, by which time I’d be dead.

So all good there.

Unless the killer traps work.

Bloody hell it was dangerous even loading the bait. One slip and you lose your fingers.

It’ll be a case of reuse.
For my plague of furry friends.

Needs must.
They aren’t cute anymore!

Rats

I live next to the canal/ River Brent.
Of course there are rats.
Now there are a family of rats that seem to live on my terrace.
I’ve bought a BB gun… and a very lethal rat killing electric thing. Neither have arrived yet.
When they do, it might get a bit messy for the rats.
I don’t want to kill anything really, but if the f’ers decide to come inside my flat then I’ll be in trouble.
My budgies might kill them.. but I don’t have budgies now. One died and I gave the other to a nice lady that had 3 budgies in a small cage.
Well now she has 4 and a massive cage.
And I have a lot more bloody room!

I’ve also been doing a lot of exercise. Obviously standard exercise is impossible but a Powerball.. amazing what you can do from a seated position with one of those!

Back !

This blog almost disappeared the other day. Some server domain name thingy that is techy.
Anyway it was rescued by Tim and Tom, not some double act but 2 smart fellas that got together and sorted it.
Had it gone? Well I have lost everything at some point or other, so it didn’t really affect me.

I would like my kids to read it one day, once they ‘ wake up ‘ to the reality. That may be a while ahead though.

Bloody hell ive been busy. More busy than for 10 years. Spasm management takes up a lot of my time, but everything seems to have happened at the same time in my life and I’ve always thrived on challenges- so yes, I’ve really liked the last couple of months

I was at the theatre last night and there was a fire alarm. Building evacuation.
If it has been a real fire I’d have probably died. No one gets out of the bloody way to let me pass. Very few people seem to have much spatial understanding and don’t get that to say, go up a slope in a hefty Machine, unless you give it some throttle it won’t make it.
Well if I’m coming up your slope then move perhaps? Or risk being mown down.
But they don’t move and it does get a bit dangerous ( for them ). They just don’t realise it. 🤦‍♂️

The ‘ team ‘ in Richmond theatre is a small lady of around 60 and a dwarf ( no, not messing). Handy as a panto stand in tho, I’m sure.
The lady last night, during evacuation, and I was last out, said ‘ don’t worry, we will get you out Sir’.
Well no, you wouldn’t. It’s me that gets me out. It would be handy if you moved out of the way though.

Going pretty much alcohol free has been a positive. I like Becks Blue 0 % more than I like the ‘ proper ‘ stuff. Who’d have thunk.

Massive gratitude to Toby, to Natalie, to Sheila for their help of late btw.

I’ve now got a vehicle too. Just not actually driven it yet. Well I need the driver seat removed first, for a start!