Monthly Archives: June 2022


Lovely to see my folks for the weekend! Always a laugh actually, has to be said.

And just as lovely ( but not more ) to see Yukon Rob and his lady, Belinda ( my own sister, Belinda, she pi***ed out the winda… ) last night! Wayyyyy too much wine ( oh that’s a surprise ).

And I saw the am dram theatre production of The Birds too this week.

Cheep cheep to that !


Now here’s an amazing thing.
Most middle aged men on dating websites are ex Special Forces soldiers.

I know, because all women I know who use the sites tell me.

Funny isn’t it, that dating sites are where they all seem to go, once they have stopped their secret mission stuff.

Some of the fellas really really don’t look like they’d have the physical prowess to get into The Salvation Army, let alone Special Forces.
It’s not only the SAS, but sometimes the American Delta Force/ Australian Élite Forces etc etc.

I know they aren’t fibbing because they are all ready to show their certificates proving they were in the Secret Divisions.
It occurred to me that issuing Secret Service certificates stopped it being that secret, but hey, maybe I’m too cynical!

Anyway I had a look online, and it was very easy and only about £20 to get a duplicate copy of the certificate that I got for being a sniper in Iraq, back in the day.

I know, I’ve never mentioned it before. Most people I knew thought I was working for Specsavers, in Staines.

Ha! Had you all going then, didn’t I !

Thursday 16/6/22

My 9 year anniversary passed without tears ( well not mine, anyway. Can’t speak for my Mum ..)

I’m grateful for the messages I got, and also for the visit from Toby, Glenn and Sam – all there on that day.

Of course I think about what happened to me that day – and it plays out in my head. What I might have done to avoid it.
Essentially, if I’d arrived at that point in the road 2 seconds earlier, or 2 seconds later, my life would have carried on as it was.

It didn’t though.

Gawd to have a Time Machine and go back, and change the outcome.

Anyway… Beck plays tonight in Brixton! Booked in 2019, it’s FINALLY going to happen.
Should be a good one!

Mmmm. Kinda appropriate.

The Glass Menagerie

Emotional play.
Disabled girl hopes for love.
Given glimmer of real hope.

Ultimately she was mistaken. She’d been indulged to a degree, then assured that one day her Prince would come.
Obvs the inference was that actually it never happened.

From one that was there.

Thinking about today Russ. That day changed all our lives but none more than yours.

I know it might sound trite, but I mean it when I say how incredible you are. I know you had your dark moments – Christ knows who wouldn’t. But you embody positivity, determination, a good dollop of wit, charm and charisma that makes you a blast to know.

Pleased to know you Russ.

Robbie x

( Robbie was the one that pushed me off my bike )


Yesterday, as I said, I went to Oxford, by train, to meet Lily, my daughter.
We do chat about pretty much everything, without embarrassment, and she told me that her boyfriend ( Ioan – medical student 3rd year ) had the day before, had a practical.
Medical students use dead bodies ( cadavers ) to practice on, and she laughingly told me that a day earlier Ioan had been doing ‘ vaginas and anuses ‘
Then she said that the cadavers they use can be ones that they’ve had pickled for a long time, and are usually old people when they die, so that Ioan might have had his finger up a very old anus.

Anyway, this morning I told Gina about this, and she said that her husband, John’s, aunt and uncle had donated their bodies to medical science.

(Obviously) 🤦‍♂️ I then heard myself saying ‘ well wouldn’t that be funny if my daughter’s boyfriend had his finger up John’s auntie’s bum last week. What are the chances of THAT happening?!

Frontal lobe injury disinhibition – see, it’s a laugh a minute. 😂


Another shocker with the train.
The assistance didn’t turn up to get me off.

I stuck my front wheel into the train door to jam it open. The train won’t leave whilst it’s like that.

I also shouted HELP

This shouldn’t be necessary… the woman at Slough just didn’t bother to call ahead to Ealing Broadway DESPITE ME ACTUALLY ASKING HER TO … that being her job btw.

Obvs I’ve again written a complaint.
Hope they sack her. No excuse for her lack of performance. All staff carry walkie talkies and phones.

But… Elbow were good at the Hampton Court Festival on Saturday night.
Pia and I had fun for a bit.

It’ll be 9 years on Tuesday, since my crash.


Lovely to see Lily in Oxford today. She’s a honey.

Feel for me. Baby.

Saw Roachford tonight.
Proper old skool.
I bought the tickets in early 2019 – no less than 6 postponements later – and I saw them.
I was quite young when I bought the tickets. All the men in the crowd were bald. I’m sure lots probably had hair when they bought the tickets.

Anyway – me n my homie Neal aren’t bald – nowhere near it. I still very much have to ask the barber to use those thinning scissors- cos my hair is too thick. Possibly that’s because my hair parallels my brain.

I was hungover when I got to the gig – blimey I’ve got another one tomorrow.

There’s a chance I may just drop dead tbh.