Monthly Archives: September 2018


It’s been up and down a bit, post surgery. Spikes in temperature are normal apparently. In other words I get feverish periods, what seems like quite a lot.

I must have been in one last night as I watched Golf on telly. I don’t think I’ve ever done that before, and don’t think I will again. There’s some sort of Cup on, and a fair bit of chest pumping. Can anyone get that revved up about golf? Obviously yes, they can. That’s a reflection on the sedentary, non dangerous world, too many people like in perhaps. Mind you, if you got hit by one of those lil white balls, it could kill you, so perhaps that should be factored in. I wonder if golfers should have been used in war time, like archers were? Far more of interest to boast about at the 19th – how many kills that day ….

Actually perhaps I am still a bit delerious?

Thank you. X

Thank you to everyone that has messaged me, emailed me or visited. I’ve only been here a little while really and I have so many people to say thank you to.

For visiting – Cress, Pia, my mum and dad, Glenn the Canadian, Roy M, Chris ‘ thé cats’ H , and wee Russ, and of course to Wendy.

Never a quiet moment in my room then. Aren’t I supposed to be sleeping all day or something ? Anyway, I’m not, obviously.

Plus, since I’ve gone Gender Neutral, I’ve heard of another male friend of mine that’s come out of the closet, to the surprise of his wife and kids.

Lets face it, you’re going to soon be in a minority unless you get assigned to a classification pretty soon, whether it’s a mainstream minority (like Gay, lesbian,  bisexual  or Curious ) or something more exotic like me.

I think perhaps it’s best to start your own minority and invite people to join it.

Anyone up for being the second Gender Fluid Welsh wheelchair’ist with Tourette’s ?

Thé people i encounter.

My career in optometry has given me a low tolerance to seeing people who need glasses to perform tasks choose not to wear them, instead saying ‘ I don’t actually need glasses – my eyes are fine ‘. Right, so in that case –

1. Why have you got glasses ?

2. Why did you deliberately presumably trick the optometrist into prescribing them ?

3. Knowing that you don’t need them, why did you buy them from the optometrist that you tricked into prescribing them?

4. Why are you able to obviously perform the visual task so much better when you wear them ?

Today I had a nurse come to take a fine calibre tube out of a blood vessel in my neck ( yes, my neck ). She said she had to take 2 stitches out of my neck first.

She poked around at my neck for a while, before saying ‘ the light isn’t very good in here, is it? ‘

Despite hér having told me not to move at all, I offered to reach for my phone and point the torch at my neck.

She said thank you.

More poking around…

’ Can you reach inside my pocket for my glasses ?’ she said..

So, just to recap then she’s taking 2 stitches and a 2 inch long plastic tube out of a vein in someone’s neck, in poor light, at 20cm from the wound site, and she doesn’t think to use the near vision use glasses that she presumably uses to read The Daily Mail…

Righto then.

That gives me such faith in her ability to perform her role.

One handedly i reach for her glasses, and being adept with spectacle handling,  get them on her nose, knowing that I have most to gain from her being able to see what she’s doing,

Seriously though ?

Just saw my surgeon. (12 hours ago, now )

Hé Saïd that on thé right side it had all completely come undone, so was ‘ just flapping in the breeze ‘ Hence thé big( and mobile )  lump that had appeared and which I reported to my previous surgeon on June 22nd this year.

That description contrasts so much with what the former surgeon said – that it was ‘all fine, and stable, with no significant movement’


So i now have bigger screws that are tight into the holes that have worn larger, over the last 2 years. If I hadn’t had it fixed it would have suddenly at some point all collapsed.

And I have special chemical in those holes when promotes rapid bone growth, so encouraging it all to knit together permanently.

He has informed me that it’s definitely possible to break anything, so I’m definitely going to try not to.

The significant pain has lessened too, thankfully.


From ICU.

Hi this is Wendy,
Russ can’t type because he’s shivering too much as he has a temperature. Consequently he is being deprived of his blankets so he’s shivering. The day after surgery is arguably the worst day as the anaesthetic has worn off and he’s in a lot of pain. His op was almost 7 hours and I imagine all that drilling and screwing will have taken quite a toll on him. He perked up slightly this morning but is not feeling great this afternoon and they’re currently investigating whether an infection is brewing.
At least the surgery is now out of the way and Russ is really grateful for all of his lovely messages and to Pia and Cress for visiting. He may be slow to reply to messages as he’s not feeling great but he will get around to it.
X Wendy

End of a Hera.

And the she/hé flounced out for the last time.
Hé had actually had the front to shout at me – SAY SORRY OR I’LL LEAVE.

Sorry for asking you to put out the pile of cardboard boxes, which I can’t do, and have been there for hours, and which you have walked past a dozen times…?


Jesus… my final words had to be – look, this converting to a man thing… it’s not working very well, is it?

As ‘ his ‘ girlfriend is an ultra feminist lesbian, I’m not sure whether or not he has to change into a frock when he goes round hers, or not ? Hard to work out the dynamic there tho, isn’t it?

I think that since I went Gender Neutral, he/she had felt threatened.

Anyway, now I’m definitely The Only Gay in the Village.
( NB except when I’m not feeling gay, which’ll be at about 8pm when Wendy gets here )

See – Gender Fluidity has to be the way forward ?!


Sincere thanks to WK for the help too.

Still me?

My lung capacity pre injury was a healthy 6 litres. Yesterday it measures at 2.7 litres.

It’s no wonder I’m a bit short of breath and have no ability to speak loudly. I’m a real mess inside and out.

Its depressing for sure.

I am dipping below the happiness line regularly atm. Trying and failing to stay ‘ up’ – it’s a constant thing that I have to do, for sure.

Still Alice at Richmond Théâtre wasn’t exactly upbeat, so wasn’t a great choice of plays. In it she talks about ‘ missing the Me Before This Happened ‘.  God I know how that feels.

I miss thé pre injury freedom and simplicity.

I saw my buddy from Uni on Friday. He has Grade 4 melanoma, and has 8% chance of another 3 and a half years. He looks really well tho, and feels well too.

My situation or his? I’d choose his. I don’t know what he’d choose ( not that you actually can ). Oh, to taste normality again, for a while, and then die. That would be incredible, and i write that with 100% honesty, as I do this diary ( well except for when I’m obviously just messing about ).

Tests yesterday took hours and I have more today too. Many questions asked, despite them having all of my notes. Makes you wonder how they’d manage if I didn’t know the answers to the questions. I had an ECG and blood taken and urine etc etc. Today it’s a respiratory test.

Thanks to the good looking half of Moby for changing my wheelchair tyres ( I just can’t do it because I cannot move enough to ( or get out of the chair and then take the wheels off now myself )

Lovely to see my long term friend, Angela, yesterday, and also Wendy. Tonight we go to the theatre to see Still Alice ( it’s about dementia ). Blimey, the wheelchair concessions do make it cheap to go to some things, which helps obviously.

Btw I’ve decided to become Gender Neutral. From  now on I’m not a Mister, I’m unspecified. Yes I know I have a girlfriend, but she cannot call me her boyfriend any more. Now she can say she’s a lesbian presumably (?), if im not a geezer .

I bet she’s chuffed about that…

I reserve the right to change back to a man, as well as identify as a female, as well as to just forget occasionally what I am altogether, and just switch from one to the other, or stop in the middle.

Please respect my decision ( tho feel free to laugh, obviously – I think the Gender Neutral brigade – GNB – take themselves a bit too seriously, so I’m gonna buck that trend ).

Russ/ Cathy.