Today marks the anniversary of the surrender of all German forces, in 1945.
I’ll celebrate that by going to the theatre tonight and afterwards ( and before ) raising a glass to the Allies.
Obviously I’ll be voting before that. They have to make the polling stations Wheelie friendly of course, and I won’t be voting for the current lot ( not that I ever have, I don’t think ). I won’t be voting for the last lot, either.

Yesterday Roo n I went to the Science museum ( along with most of the children in London.. and an equal number of Frog kids ) Wheeling through ten thousand kids is worse than the same number of adults, as literally none of them seem able to see me.
As it was Roo’s birthday, we went out to dinner to celebrate.. of course. Very nice too.

I saw Bradley Wiggins speak on Tuesday, accompanied by my buddy Chris ( who is somewhat of an expert on Brad, having worked for Sky at the time, and particularly with the cycling team ). I think Brad’s public image benefited a lot from Chris’s wise input. Clever, that Chris fella, I can tell you.

Roo n I saw the Michael Jackson film on Sunday- I dunno but I can’t really see Whacko being a kiddy fiddler. I wouldn’t bet my house on that, but I just don’t believe it.
Anyway, the film is great, particularly all the music and of course the dance.

The mighty Bees beat West Ham 3-0 the other day, and of course I was there.. and I also went In my SpazVan to Stoke Mandeville hospital the other day to get Botox In my legs. As yet it has not lessened the spasm intensity, and nor do they look any younger.. doh.

Barely home from Richmond theatre and back there again for a matinee.. seeing Harry Enfield ( and no chums )

The fella is as funny as he always was. He has created so many amazing characters over the years and he did a lot of them.
Not seen an audience laugh so much.
He’s a fantastic impressionist and took off so many famous people today.
Go and see him.
Like going back in time to a funnier age of non wokery and no PC

10/10. HILARIOUS.

Saw the world’s worst play last night.
If you go to watch Single White Female ( brilliant film back in the day ) ‘ starring’ Kym Marsh and Lisa Faulkner… you’ll spend more time laughing than you do being shocked.
Given it’s supposed to be a thriller, that’s probably not what they wanted.

At the end, Marsh ‘falls’ backwards out of the 20th floor window.. to her death.
Had they put the window a bit lower, she wouldn’t have to have so obviously jumped backwards out of it…. another comical moment.

Kerry was a bit drunk and gets a bit ‘ intolerant of mediocrity’ when she is…. she must have said ‘ ffs this is like a school play’ about 20 times.

So not quite what we had expected then.

Kerry was nevertheless very excited to have been ( apparently ) chatting to celebrities at the bar, and regaled me again and again with her interval stories. She was particularly unimpressed by the celebrities calling the interval .. half time.

Fun day out nonetheless, having watched the Bees hang on to 7th place when drawing with Fulham.

Good day !

Well I went, with The G, to see Ruby Wax on Sunday.
Jeez, she’s a funny lady.
The format was her and her long term producer in conversation, with video footage now and then of the interviews she’s done over the years.
Trump, Pamela Anderson, the Spice Girls, Liza Minelli, Carrie Fisher, Madonna etc etc.
She was hilarious in all of it.
As with Little Britain… they don’t make it like they used to..for certain.
Look her up on YouTube and you’ll find everything.

Hampton Court and the Tulip Festival yesterday. So much variety in my life- from one extreme to the other.

Unless you’re a sci-fi nerd or a teenage boy, don’t see Project Hail Mary ( verdict of me,Bev, Leighton and GG ) after we saw it last week.
Tonight is The Drama, with Roo. Hoping for better.
I seem to be seeing a lot of Kerry ( isn’t she lucky?!) On Saturday we go to both the football ( Bees vs Fulham ) AND the theatre.
I think she needs to get a boyfriend.
Have I already said that we saw One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest last week at the Old Vic?

No wonder she wants to hang around with me- eye candy with tickets to everything.

Went to the theatre with my Ex last night.
No! Not ex wife ( that would be the miracle of the century ) … my ex ( Karen ).
We saw Our Town, starring Michael Sheen. It was very Welsh… so quite tidy.
To me it seemed like a modern version of Under Milk Wood… though easier to understand!

I definitely recommend it.

Recently I’ve seen a few lovely friends- Rob and Belinda ( lots of wine seems to disappear when I see them ) and Leighton Jones ( tidy boy that he is ) and last night Kerry McS ( also to the theatre ).
During the interval, the 45 ish year old attractive lady sat in front of me came back from the loo ( it seemed ) and sat down again.
Except she now had a foot of toilet paper hanging from the back of her jeans.

When a girl does that with the toilet paper, what does it actually mean?
That the bit she wiped with is still in her knickers?
How does it even happen??

Explain please, someone.

I wanted to tell her of course, but Kerry kept stopping me? Wouldn’t you want to know? I thought it was the right thing to do, and actually as it was still dangling down at the end, I did tell her.
She was ever so fast to grab it, but I’m not sure she wanted to stop and chat.

K had been on a date and was even more excited than usual ( think puppy ) as she had been kissed.
Middle Aged Women turn into teenagers when they online date… sometimes. Very amusing to witness, fair play.

Well I did think that a one woman play .. called Dracula, might not live up to the hype that it’s had.

I was WRONG though, big time.
Miss Cynth is ever so good, and it’s very cleverly done, fair play.
It’s another play with cameras pointing at the actor and projecting her image onto the background screen, along with other pre recorded stuff.. so that Cynth appears as up to 5 characters at the same time.

She does play each character well.. even Count Dracula… though he did speak in a Nigerian accent… (?) but factor in that she’s about 4 feet tall and physically tiny ( though extremely muscular ).

I’d recommend it. It’s one act that lasts 1 hour 50 minutes, but it flies by and it’s definitely transfixes the audience from the start.

The Noel Coward theatre was pretty good, access wise. They give me a box … which works ok although I have to go into it and then get the Triride off … so there’s a lot of jiggery pokery… but thanks to Kerry’s excellent help (!) it was great.
The last time I went there with Kerry, she was a little merry let’s say. Sometimes I can’t write everything that happens to me. 😅

I went to Brixton last night… to a gig.
I arranged to meet Roo before for a drink… at the Department Store.
Except when I got there ( and she did ) it was ‘shut for refurbishment’.
Doh!
Brixton really doesn’t have many/ any overtly accessible bars … but we tried the Wetherspoons.
Who doesn’t like a Spoons after all?

A small single step isn’t a problem for the All Wheel Triride… and in I went.
As they always are, it was crowded… but as always with Spoons clientele, people are obliging and helpful.
As it was Brixton after all, most of the drinkers were black… and as I have mentioned before, black people ( particularly the fellas ) are incredibly friendly and helpful to me, which of course makes everything easier.

As I’d had a bit of a bladder sensitivity issue… I avoided wine … and for the first time in ages had a pint or 2.

Brixton Academy had been closed down for a year or two following a crowd crush outside the venue that actually killed 2 staff members… but has been open again for about a year, with changes to crowd management.
Basically that means lots of metal fencing to channel people in a controlled manner.
The front has about 10 steps so it’s not immediately accessible, but they do have a ramp.
The incline of the ramp definitely isn’t ‘legal ‘ as it’s a big elevation and a relatively short ramp , but hey, with All Wheel drive I shoot up it and then practically take off at the top – a bit alarming to watch..

Inside, I go through a bar area and into the music space. It’s very large, accommodating about 3,000 people I think, and at the side there’s a raised area where they put the cabbages.

Now clearly they are ( now ) focused on health and safety when it comes to crowd management.
So they have 3000 people in one sloped standing area, and about 20 people with disabilities in the raised area at the side.

Where are all the uniformed crowd management staff? In the wheelchair area of course, telling people to move around here and there to maintain a very wide channel down the middle.
So you have say 10 people in wheelchairs, other people with crutches etc, a couple of really fat people ( of course ) and the same number of ‘ companions ‘ for the Unfortunates.

Well if they think herding your regular able bodied people is difficult, try a load of cabbages.. all of whom want a position where they can actually see.
Well for a starter, the people who are in chairs should be at the front…. and the companions ( who can stand up ) should be behind them… right?
Well that’s not how it is. The companions that get there first are always very territorial about being at the front ( I mean you’d think that of ALL people, they’d ‘ get it ‘ but usually they don’t ).

Roo and I didn’t get there early enough ( because of Spooning ) to claim a ‘ front row’ position… so we were set back a yard.
Except of course, we were then in the designated ‘ no go ‘ channel down the middle.
Well … all sorts weren’t happy, and I was asked to move to a position where I couldn’t really see the band … so there was general cabbage dissent.
Often the companions seem to be the partners of the Spazzers and they don’t like being separated from each other.
What they need is a far larger area ( impossible ) and less Nazis patrolling. As soon as the crowd control staff disappeared, all sorts were moving around, like a game of Wheelchair Scalextrics.
Of course, once the band strikes up, some apparently immobile people jump to their feet and start dancing ( and don’t stop until the end ).
One lady ( 45(?), black, shaven head and a single crutch ) could have given Michael Jackson a run for his money.

I did of course point out to the Chief Crowd person that it wasn’t fair that only the Cabbages were marshalled so much, and the regular people were left alone. Why aren’t you insisting on wide open channels down the main standing area, I asked ( because I can’t imagine it was a crush of wheelchairs that had killed people 3 years ago, or anyone slipping on dribble ) … and shouldn’t the standy uppy companions give way ( positionally ) to the people who can’t stand up?

To be fair, the fella listened and asked companions to give way – result !

Franz Ferdinand were really, really great, as always and we got away at the end safely.
I then ‘ drove’ my Tri the 7 miles home.
Why does going south of the river seem to take far longer than going north of the river? I seemed to be going through Clapham/ Wandsworth/ Putney etc for hours. Maybe it’s the wider roads and less traffic? The pot holes are worse though, so I have to go slower than I’d like.
At one point a police car with flashing lights pulled alongside me … and the officer waved (?!) which was nice …

By midnight I was safely home
Obvs I do wonder what I’d do if I broke down… but that doesn’t seem to happen to me nowadays. I’m onto the maintenance of my ride (!) which helps my good fortune.

Tonight it’s a play in town.
Kerry tapped me up for the wheelchair companion angle for herself and we have the hot ticket – Dracula ( played by Cynthia off Wicked- that I’ve not seen ).

Hopefully it’s worth the hype.
Cynth plays all 27 parts apparently.

How does she suck her own blood?
I’ll report back.

Apparently the safest place in the world if there’s a global nuclear war is ……

COSTA RICA!

Maybe I should go n hang out there for a bit?
Bet GG would be up for it.
😊

The closest I get atm is Costa Coffee.
I wonder how thick the walls are in the one near Kew Bridge?

FOUR times I’ve been soaked today.
FOUR times I’ve had to ask for paper towels/ a cloth to just try to mop up the rain that collects in any and every jacket crease, in between my legs, down my back etc etc.

I’m refusing to go out if it’s raining… for the next xxxxxx.
Except I know I will- fear of failure has always been strong in me, and failing to go to a commitment counts as me letting myself down.

Great to see Chris today ( happy as a lark ), Leigh all day yesterday… ( always a great laugh and lots to say ) and of course Roo last night for the theatre. Paranormal Activity… the play.. was very scary actually!

So many thanks to GG for everything this week… she’s SUCH a superstar I can’t say.

And thank you to my lovely, never stops talking, friend, Kerry …. for booking us tickets for Cirque de Soleil in the Albert Hall last week. What a show, too. Those performers do some crazy stuff.
Thank you to Karen for inviting me to Book of Mormon last night – very politically incorrect in every single way ( PERFECT! ) … and for Roo for coming with me to see The Constant Wife on Valentine’s night. Very funny play, and she also cooked dinner ( aka heating up the M&S Valentine dinner for two ). Well I was grateful!

Me buddy Dickon came with me to watch inspired Brentford almost beat the league leaders, Arsenal, on Thursday. A 1-1 draw doesn’t tell it like it was… at all.