I went to see a play called The Brightening Air tonight, at the Old Vic.
Go and see it – very funny and very poignant too.
Set in Ireland in the 1980’s. A story about a family, with all the family complications and secrets and unsaid history.
The Irish humour and accents add a lot to the telling.

This weekend is Easter weekend.
Pre injury I’d have been racing in the DW – Britain’s ( and in some ways , the world’s ) hardest canoe race.
Every Easter I think a lot about it Far more than I do about chocolate, or Jesus.

Sending good luck to everyone in the race this year.
And a big hello to everyone that might remember me from the good old days ( particularly a certain ginger Cornish fella ).

Imagine my surprise when just over a year ago i found out i likely had a brother i didn’t know about.
A DNA test then confirmed it – Brother Paul.

Well this weekend i went to Wales… and BP met his extended family for the first time. As did his daughter, Alex, with his wife ( Tracey ) meeting all her in – laws.

A lovely weekend it was, too.

We’ll never know the facts around his conception ( because that’s not been admitted to ) but it was in Exeter in 1962.
He was adopted at birth and always knew he was adopted, because his adopted mother always made a point of telling everyone.
Quite funny that … or perhaps not?!

Anyway, now he knows far more about his origins than he did before.
And that makes me happy.

Not good.
Hospital ahead … 🙄

However… I felt ok enough to go and see Kate Nash in Kentish Town Forum tonight, with lovely Linz.
What’s a bloke to do when he’s up against it?

Damn, i could do with more sleep though.

I went to see a play last night, with my buddy Toby Juan Kernobby.

It was about a family- 2 parents and their 4 children ( 2 girls, 2 boys ).
It featured a lot of seminal moments in the lives of them all. Good things happened, bad things happened, and a few very unexpected ( as in non foreseeable ) things happened.

Most of the audience were probably parents, and the play had some extremely good reviews. For the majority of the audience, it was likely that many of the featured chapters in the story struck a chord. Who ever said that being a parent was uneventful ?

For me though, what was overwhelmingly impactful was just how much I’ve missed in the 11 years since my life went tits up, and reference my family, just how much my ( deliberate but very unnecessary ) exclusion has cost me. I’ve not been able to be a dad, because it’s been made impossible to be. When all channels have been forced closed, it’s just not possible.
I’ve hardly been privy to any secondary school really, virtually no university life, no birthdays, no Christmases, no graduations, no driving lessons, no social circles or relationships, no dinners in or out, no advice/ thoughts asked for, no being a shoulder to cry on… no nothing really.

I was history from the day my girls were taken away from me in May 2017. You don’t get a second chance to see your children grow up, it only happens the one time.

I don’t see it changing either, going forward, whatever well meaning people may say.

Something did happen at the end of the play that would change things for me, if it were to happen in real life to my ‘ family’.
I’ll just hang onto that glimmer of hope.
It was a bad thing in the narrative of the play, but it would be great if it happened in the narrative of me.

And also.. I seem to have another health problem. Back in 2016 I spent a week in hospital because for some reason my left testicle ( of all things ) got damaged ( god knows how ). Well now something else is going on there. I can feel absolutely zilch below my rib cage ( ish ) except for having a left testicle that is painful to the touch.
Well now it’s a lot worse and my once fine left bollock seems to be disintegrating.
I imagine if I had normal sensation, it would be excruciating. Maybe it’s very contributory to my spasms. Who knows ?

Anyway, next week I’m having it looked at. The standard procedure is to remove a dodgy one.
That’ll be me soon, I reckon. One ball down. People have a prosthetic one to keep up appearances. Somehow I don’t think I’ll bother with that. Of course it could be something far worse. Like I said, it’s extremely painful ( and I’m not supposed to feel a bloody thing ).

Hitler only had one ball.
Goebbels had no balls at all.
Neither had prosthetics. Well not according to the song, but maybe that’s because not much rhymes with ‘ prosthetic testicle ‘.

Well I’ve now watched most of those films that were nominated for Oscars.
I’m not gonna go on about them. I’m not a film critic, after all… but for sure I’d say The Brutalist and Crucible are Oscar worthy. I don’t recall any nudity in the second, but there’s a bit in the former.

Anora is possibly best watched with the sound off and shouldn’t have won any Oscars. There’s a lot of naked female.

The Last Showgirl is sad but at least plausible.
Not Oscar worthy. There’s a lot of naked female.

The Substance is Science Fiction and will become a cult B movie type film, probably. There’s a lot of naked female.

I went to see, with my friend Kerry McSq, a play tonight in town.. currently the hot ticket.
It’s called The Unicorn.

If you don’t know.. a unicorn is the name given to a ( younger ) female introduced into a heterosexual marriage ( bedroom ) to spice up the sex.
The unicorn bit comes from the fact that these willing and younger ( attractive ) females that would want to do that, are extremely rare.
If you find one that ticks all those boxes that isn’t a serial killer/ blackmailer or convict / sex traffic victim.. then you are indeed ‘ lucky ‘.

I know a bit about this anyway, because I did briefly date a lady a few years ago who after her marriage had ended, said she’d embarked on a journey of sexual discovery, and had got involved as a Third Wheel in a marriage.

She had described herself as a Unicorn… though at the time I did think that ( although she wasn’t altogether unattractive ) I certainly wouldn’t have put her into the ‘ mythical creature’ category.

That would have been certainly contrary to the Fairytale Descriptions Act, if there was one.
I won’t mention her name of course.

Donkey with an ice cream cone held onto her head with an elastic band… comes to mind.

Well… it would seem that perhaps ( or it’s likely ) that I’ve had a UTI all of the time since September 2023.
It’s been ‘ dampened ‘ by me drinking 7 litres of water every day, plus supplements to improve bladder health… BUT a urine test showed that the antibiotic I’ve routinely used… is the wrong one for the infection I’ve had.

So it’s possible… that my 18 months of dire, dire sleep ( every single night ) might not be for much longer.
I can only hope though.
Let’s see what happens over the next week or so.
I did get 5 hours straight sleep 2 nights ago, and that just doesn’t happen to me.. unless I’m so tired through endless nights of not sleeping that my body just gives up and sleeps through the spasms anyway.
I’m feeling optimistic… 😊

I’m just going to a play.
It’s called ‘ Picture You Dead’

I have to say that when I booked tickets ages ago.. I did think how funny it would have been to invite a ‘ certain person’ and say I’d booked it especially in their honour.

Every time I think about, it’s makes me laugh. A lot.

But anyway, I didn’t send the invite.

Perhaps that person is reading this though and will appreciate my humour…

😂

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UTI’s.
Non stop spasms.
Dire lack of sleep.

That’s been my life for quite a while now.
Sure, I press on and do stuff, but F me, it’s wearing.
SCI – the gift that keeps on giving. It just gets more complicated the longer you live, seems to me.

Anyway (!) what I am looking forward to is my new ( surprise ) brother meeting quite a few of his new ( surprise ) family in Wales soon.
Having organised a party, my brother, his wife and my 2 nieces will soon meet quite a few people they didn’t know existed until recently.
Party on…!

Suz and I have been to see Franz Ferdinand in Shepherds Bush and my friend Flipper and I saw Backstroke at the Donmar, to name just a couple of things I’ve been up to.
But tbh I’ve been in a bit of a semi Zombie state for a while through lack of sleep.

I’ve changed my diet to see if that lessens my spasms, as well as gone on different medications… but nothing seems to help.

What’s a fella to do?
It’s certainly testing me, I’ll tell you that.