Five days of happiness and now the reality of my last 10 days in London for a while, if not for quite a while. I leave on April 10th to live abroad in Portugal where I still have a small apartment that is wheelchair friendly.

It sounds good, doesn’t it, but the negative certainly outweigh the positives. I don’t know anyone there, other than my Carer who will come, and Pedro that runs the local bar. As I am not going to be drinking, the bar isn’t quite as it was long ago.

Whilst i manage my thoughts mostly quite well, I’m certainly still given to depression at times, and solitude is where the demons reside, I’m afraid. In Portugal I’ll be far away from the mates that I do rely upon, and in terms of things to do to distract my brain, it’s certainly no London.

Itll make no difference to how often I see my offspring, as less than never is still never, so some things will be as before. The weather is of course better, and the outdoors can be explored a bit, although punctures are potentially a big risk near thorny scrub beaches and arid land, and I’m not really supposed to expose myself to the Sun any more, Post dermatology findings.

So that’s a lot of time watching DVD’s then and writing I think. I may as well learn some Portuguese too – that might help me?

I do hope I might get the odd visitor if I’m there for a long time, otherwise I might end up like Ben Gunn from Treasure Island, or something.  I’ve seen some castaway films and they’re quite exciting, but none of the heroes are paraplegics as far as I recall.

I’m hoping that my girlfriend can cope with a long distance relationship, as she is ever so amazing so far… typical that I have the bad fortune of having to move 2000 miles away as soon as I get the girl.

Fingers crossed tightly.

I do hope to move back to London in due course, but for now I only have the one option, and it’s the Algarve, so that is what I shall embrace, rather than dread.

It ll be good to get away from the cold weather – that stuff makes me spasm a lot!

Until this trip, I’ve felt that I am just Paralysed in a different location, rather than ‘ on holiday ‘  

This difference in my thoughts is a bloody significant change, I’m happy to say!

Ashley and i went to see Stiff Little Fingers tonight in North London.

They were pretty good, and had a bit of a cult following going on, but Ashley and I cut and ran/ rolled early to get away.

Both of us needed sleep more than seeing a band in North London  that we weren’t fans of. I booked it because they were Pia’s late father’s favourite band, but Pia is pretty incapacitated and in lots of pain, so couldn’t come.

A proper cripple and an acute but shorter term cripple making their way across crowded London isn’t the best combination for a night of nostalgia for the one that’s permanently currently in pain.

As I don’t like to quit and not go, we went, but probably shouldn’t have. Anyway, it was ok.

Camden market has some very cool stuff in it too – lots of design students and artists sell their ideas  there, and it’s very cool. Mixing street art and graffiti into clothing seems to be where it’s at at the moment, and I love it. Brilliant presents for teenagers, for sure, if they are aren’t too into designer labels, anyway. Always a leap of faith buying alternative stuff for people – you just never know if you share the same wavelength, do you?

We’re going to the same venue tonight to see The Fratelli’s – definitely more my thing.

Russ gig rating for Stiff Little Fingers – well if you like em probably 7/10.

The guitarist had a t shirt on with FCK NZS printed on the front.

Obviously anti New Zealand sentiment is running high in ageing bands from Northern Ireland…..?

Happy birthday to my daughter, Amber, who ive not seen since December, but who I do think about every day.

My lovely friend Pia, is on crutches/ in a wheelchair after falling and snapping her right ACL ( knee ligament ). We’ll make a fine pair if we go out together, won’t we. Typically, Pia doesnt complain at all and doesn’t want anyone to worry – so if you know her phone number, do message hér!

The packing up of my life goes on, and I’m preparing to leave where I live. Thanks for the various offers of packing assistance – I should be ok with Hanna to help me. Thé trouble is that im on it like Gromit, as I am still programmed like I used to be, and like to work at light speed, with a high degree of common sense, so I might be a tad ‘ demanding ‘ to the lovely Hanna… so my apologies to her!

I entrusted the wonderful Hanna to buy a new sheet and duvet cover, as I only had one of each.

They arrived.

I hadn’t realised that she wasn’t aware my Nan passed away some time ago, and wouldn’t be coming to stay…

Thank you to my 2 carers, both from Romania, who are quite simply fantastic. I’ve long ago learned that that relationship is incredibly important to my wellbeing. Having these 2 professional yet fun girls in my life is indeed a blessing.

Hanna and Krisztina – you da best.

Russ

Thanks to Ashley for appearing in my life, to Rob and Mark for what they have recently done for me, and to everyone else that is sincere in my life.

If ive got anything to do with it, you’ll all go to heaven.

I doubt I’ll see you there, as I’ll be far below, but hey you never know ?!

So many of us have had so much help from Back Up… this seems to be a free way of returning it!… copy & pasted…

“Did you know you can raise money for Back Up when you shop at Amazon at no extra cost?

The Amazon Smile website has millions of products which are eligible for a charity donation. Each time a customer shops through Amazon Smile, Amazon donates 0.5% of the net purchase price for eligible products at no additional cost to the customer or to the chosen charity.

So here’s how you can donate to Back Up through Amazon Smile:
1. Go to smile.amazon.co.uk and log into your Amazon account.
2. Choose Back Up from the charity options.
3. Continue your shopping as usual

It’s a new easy way of showing your support for Back Up and the work that they do for people like me!

Russ

Now I know England lost, and Wales won, and England had lost 3 games in a row…. but seriously, was this sort of language strictly necessary…..?

God bless the fat, baldy Englishman that he is ❤️

Just before being tempted to buy antiques – not .