Today I hope to get to Magistrates Court again. I’ve tried and failed a few times since the last visit, but today I reckon I’ll make it. Who knows what I’ll see there. I’ve been told that the Crown Courts are more fun ( I mean they have ‘ bigger/more serious ‘ cases and crimes ) but there is something about seeing the law at work in the trying of petty ( you might say ) offences. The amount of time spent arguing about the most insignificant things is extraordinary really, but humans are bloody petty. I know from my own experience that people can react in the most extreme ways to the most minor of ‘ills against them ‘. It’s almost certainly because their lives are fairly charmed and they have very little to complain about, so tiny events are escalated to being significant. Prime examples are garden fence disputes, where neighbours argue and prosecute each other over a few inches of lawn. I mean really, who gives a fuck ? But actually lots of people do.

I know that because I have so many actual challenges that are always there, I don’t get worked up at all over little things. If I do appear to, the reality is that the ‘ argument’ is for my own entertainment rather than because I’m in any way perturbed. I’ve learned however that perspectives are everything – what’s almost invisible to one person is shocking to another, and you just have to accept that and not interfere.

Sometimes though it IS fun to poke people ( that deserve it ) a little bit…. and I do on occasion.

After my injury, and everything changed for me, I felt very uncomfortable being on my own. In fact I couldn’t bear it. I’d get scared too, the awareness of being so vulnerable and unable just being too much for me.

Before my injury I often spent time alone. Invariably I’d train by myself, whether it be running, kayaking or cycling, or all the other sports I did.

6 years on and I’m happy to say that once again I’m ok by myself, by myself with my thoughts and just doing what I can by myself, which isn’t a million things like before, but certainly quite a few things.

Having said all that, I have seen lots of people recently who have gone out of their way to catch up with me. Thanks to Miles, to Lal and Saz, to Roy and Dickon, to Marky P, to my parents, to Toby and Cress, to Pia, Brian and Macey, and of course to Wendy. The persistent rain of late definitely hindered my doing stuff that I’d planned, and I’m glad it’s cheered up ( a lot ). 3 outside cinema nights weren’t possible ( well they were, but I get bloody wet ) recently. The rain has however helped my garden. I never thought I’d be interested in gardening, and to be honest I can’t actually do that much of it myself, but I can at least decide what I have in it, and where things ( plants and lights and a water feature even ) go. Im like Incapability Brown ( that’s a gardening and disabled joke btw ) now, and it’s satisfying to see it flourish. I don’t faff about, everything is done on impulse, and my sexy gardener and also Gawain are pretty handy as the implementers of my impulsive creativity…

And there’s lots of wildlife in Brentford!

I met up with a lady I used to work with, when I was 22/23. I haven’t seen her since then actually. She’s called Gisela and is from Venezuela. She’s a lovely lady, and her English now is far better than it was back then, which makes chatting far easier.

She had said before we met up that she had had a rough time, with lots of sadness. I didn’t know what, other than the her brother having died after years of disabling MS, which is obviously bad enough for one family, by itself. When she came though, she told me that both her parents had died recently too, which of course is inevitable at some point, although heartbreaking for Gisela.

She then told me about her other brother, and I’m fairly certain you would never have heard anything like this. …

He imported ( to Venezuela ) two emus from China. At the time of their arrival he had a cold, so his immune system was slightly compromised.

One of the two emus had Avian Flu. Her brother caught the flu and died within a week. He was 45.

A golfer stands over his tee shot for what seems an eternity: looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Finally his exasperated partner says, “What’s taking so long? Hit the damn ball!” The guy answers, “My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot.” “Forget it, man,” says his partner. “You’ll never hit her from here.”

And today is my birthday

All birthday 🎁 s gratefully received obviously.

Lovely to have spent last night with some very close friends, Wendy. and my daughter, Lily. It’s been a mixed week, with good, like last night, and definitely not so good, like Thursday when a result in a Physics exam meant no Oxford University for Lily this year, at least.

Oxford are notorious for being absolutely adherent to their grade requirements, not bending a lot if any. When you are due to study English there, then ought your grade in Physics really be that relevant? Well I don’t make the rules so what I think isn’t going to influence them, but you’d think 2 A stars and a B ( her results ) is actually BETTER than the asked for 3 As ( not A stars ). But the rules is the rules, apparently, so it means a year not at school and a retake next year.

Having got her initial huge disappointment behind her, she’s now planning her year ahead. This will be her first year not at school, and the first year that she is no longer a child, and suddenly she’s seeing it as a year of opportunity that she hadn’t planned on having. Lots say that it’s better to start Uni with a year of self sufficiency behind you and you are more rounded for that, so like it or not that’s the new path.

I think she’ll have a great year, and the bonus for me is that she’ll be around for 12 more months. We have a lot of time to catch up on, so I am hoping very much to be able to do that.

…. is A level results day.

If you or someone you know didn’t quite get what they wanted, then they can take solace in this. People do get on in life without having great academic records…

I was sleepy all day yesterday. I kept uncharacteristically yawning, and by 6.30 I just wanted to go to sleep. I got helped into bed, tried to stay awake but gave up by 8.30 and was asleep.

I woke up at 3.30am and couldn’t go back to sleep. Every time I thought I was nodding off a leg would jerk ( in a way that hasn’t happened for a long time ). I did sleep, I think at about 7.15 though, just about at the time when Gawain came in to start my day, so he woke me up. I was aware that I felt negatively towards him, and critical, for absolutely no reason. I felt impatient and had no urge to chat as I normally do.

It’s been about 2 and a half years since I’ve definitely had a Urine Tract Infection, so I’d forgotten the effects and symptoms. The penny dropped however when I saw the colour of my urine and that it had filaments floating in it. Unlike years ago, I now keep a course of antibiotics at all times, that I can start when I suspect I have one, which then stops the UTI from worsening, but before I’d have to wait a few days for a GP appointment that was just hard to even get to, have a test, which took a few days, whilst the UTI became entrenched in me, and eventually about 6 days after it had started I’d begin the treatment. It would be 3 days before I started to recover at all, so all in all at least a week of being irrational, depressed, and paranoid, during which time any interactions with people would definitely be affected negatively ( as in I would be anything varying from sullen to unpleasant, and always negative ). When you have dementia or have a spinal cord injury ( and I’m sure other things too ) UTI’s affect you in a different way from when you are ‘ normal ‘. We 2 groups of people are mentally adversely affected whereas ‘ normal people ‘ aren’t in the same way.

Between 2014 and 2016 I had UTI’s probably half of the time. One was either starting, I had one raging, or I was coming out of one. I would have maybe a week between infections, where I’d be merely depressed as hell about being paralysed. The UTI time I’d be paralysed, as depressed as hell, plus paranoid and irrational.

As I write this, thanks to the double dosage tablets I’ve taken, I already feel myself more or less, thank God.

I can’t go back in time and change anything, and things happen that are irreversible. I do know that the best people rode the storm with me though, and those that weren’t strong enough were either swept away, or abandoned ship.

Survival of the fittest, and that’s the natural way of things.

And we made the mistake of going to see The Greatest Showman at an outdoor cinema tonight.

No, it didn’t rain or anything, it’s just that it really was a load of crap. No, I really don’t like musicals, and the ones that are in films are even worse. …

How can Wolverine now be a singing circus owner? Over produced nonsense, or what?

The setting was cool though- Hampton Court.

And EVER SO GOOD to see my 2 daughters this weekend, and with my parents too.

Let’s hope for a repeat of the first more often 🤞

And let’s hope to avoid repeats of Wales losing to the English as they did today. It was like playing against a team of those Transformer things, but the ones made in the South Sea Islands.

And a big THANK YOU to Chris Cats for last night’s invite to see the brilliant Johnny Marr in the Southbank.

He’s not a household name, Johnny that is, but he is just the most incredible guitarist and has been in really top bands.

Anyway, Chris Cats isn’t his real name. Wendy called him that as a way of remembering him, as he had 2 cats.

Then he and his girlfriend split up and took the cats, so then he became Chris No Cats Now.

That was a mouthful so we were glad when he got back together with the cats ( which involved reuniting with his former girlfriend ) and now is once more Chris Cats.

Thought I ought explain that.