Now here’s an amazing thing.
Most middle aged men on dating websites are ex Special Forces soldiers.
I know, because all women I know who use the sites tell me.
Funny isn’t it, that dating sites are where they all seem to go, once they have stopped their secret mission stuff.
Some of the fellas really really don’t look like they’d have the physical prowess to get into The Salvation Army, let alone Special Forces.
It’s not only the SAS, but sometimes the American Delta Force/ Australian Élite Forces etc etc.
I know they aren’t fibbing because they are all ready to show their certificates proving they were in the Secret Divisions.
It occurred to me that issuing Secret Service certificates stopped it being that secret, but hey, maybe I’m too cynical!
Anyway I had a look online, and it was very easy and only about £20 to get a duplicate copy of the certificate that I got for being a sniper in Iraq, back in the day.
I know, I’ve never mentioned it before. Most people I knew thought I was working for Specsavers, in Staines.
Ha! Had you all going then, didn’t I !
I will never forget the chap on a dating site whose photo showed him dressed like Bruce Willis in Die Hard – grubby white vest and stained trews – and with very similar facial stubble and bald patch. Sadly, he had none of Bruce’s charm (but a sizeable paunch – I know: pot/kettle), offering instead ‘ some tinnies and some drugs’ because ‘I like the drugs, see?’
I’m still not sure if it was a spoof.