As my friends all know, I’m leaving the Property I am at in Portugal very soon.

The arrangement I had was to stay here as late as June 21st, but I hoped to leave sooner. To my amazement I’ve today been threatened with eviction on the 14th. That’s Thursday, today being Monday.

I can’t believe I’m in this situation ( soap opera style ).

I wonder will I have to get my Carer to barricade the doors and windows on Wednesday?

The people taking eventual possession are either sadistic or deranged in some way, to even think of doing this to me.

Ive looked at eviction in portugal and it can take an average of 31 months. Maybe I should think about staying til late 2020 then, instead of moving out next week?

It’ll all be caught on camera, don’t worry about that.

My Carer was asking about my pre injury life – what that was like, what I did etc, then about the 5 years since my injury.

I gave him a brief summary  of my adulthood, with sports, my business, my family life, my achievements, then my injury and the years since. I was aware that he was listening intently, and then became aware that he was listening more in shock.

When I’d finished, I smiled and asked him what he thought.

There was a pause, after which he just said ‘ well if you were a character in a soap opera, no one would actually believe your story, do you realise that?’

I do wish that only the first life had happened, and then the soap character could have just been written out… but in the nature of soaps the guy who was in the fatal accident then came back to life later on, in a whole new story line.

That’s pretty much the plot line in the real life version – making it more a documentary than a soap. I’ve no idea what will actually become of the character, as those episodes just haven’t been scripted yet, have they?

I’m not sure this really helps very much  ?

I have the option of either pressing for more action, or just leaving it.  I will choose the latter, and just hope that the unpleasant customs officer was actually disciplined in some way.

Ill never know!

So I cleared my head by pouring myself into admin tasks – all using my phone, as always. Lists of things to do, with stuff checked off that I do. It’s quite effective as a strategy when the shite hits the fan, and makes you realise that all isn’t quite so bad ( well hopefully anyway ).

I actually ended up formulating new plans as a consequence of writing stuff down, which was unexpected, and better than the pre existing plan that I had –  for the years to come. My vista does keep changing, for sure, and I do have options to choose from, which is better than having no choice, and far better than no options at all..

I think I’ve decided what’s now ahead of me.

In the usual way of carers, mine has let me down. He has unilaterally changed the plan ( without discussion ) which leaves me in a fix.

Ive learned that there are very few people that are actually true to their word in life, and am dealt with the consequences of that again and again. It’s a shame, as every single aspect of the relationship was fine, and ( I think ) I can speak for him here too.

Here we go again then. Definitely worse things have happened to me of course, and it’ll soon be history, but it has dented my faith in humanity once again.

So it’s back to uncertainty, where there 3 hours ago existed certainty. As I’ve said a few times – it’s suddenly changing the set plan that buggers me up – and im ALWAYS reliant on other people to stick to their side of the bargain.

Being as proactive as I can, anyway…

A big snake crossed the road in front of me today. I’ve not seen loads of snakes in my last, but find them pretty cool creatures for sure.

I remember plucking one out of a river in France as a child, seeing a couple in Wales, as a boy, seeing a large one slither into a lake I was canoeing in, and then today. We stopped next to it for a look, and it shot off as quickly as a person could run, across a parched field. It didn’t exactly look friendly, but I have zero fear of snakes so it was a positive for me!

I’d like to see a pterodactyl one day, so will keep hoping.

Thé SCI forum that I belong to seems to have turned to the subject of sex, down to an 18 year old  ( and intelligent ) lad that’s injured, and wants to know as much as possible from the longer term injured blokes. The females are obviously free to pitch in as well, it being a mixed gender group.

The site is awash with factual details about post paralysis sex. For the injured males it’s something that is absolutely devastating to begin with – have you lost your ‘ maleness ‘ because you ‘ can’t perform ‘ like before ? I remember my first months/ years even  and the notion that you are incredibly diminished as a man, perhaps akin to being genitally mutilated for a woman, and also having masectomy surgery?

Years later and you have realised hopefully that whilst it’s very different, it’s not over.  I now understand that it’s apparently also the first thing  lots of people think – ‘ well does it still work down below ? I mean if he can’t feel anything, then presumably he never wants sex, right?’

To know what’s being discussed you’d have to be a member of the group. Some can still feel sensation below the waist to varying degrees – some in just a certain area only, and some not at all – like myself. For some Viagra works very well, and for some it doesn’t, regardless of sensation. Just because you cannot feel it obviously doesn’t mean that your girlfriend can’t, which changes the dynamic for sure – youre effectively watching her have sex with you, and you get your pleasure from her pleasure.

What is the general consensus though is that because it’s much more about giving than receiving, it is definitely not a case of Wham Bam thank you Mam, wipe it on the sheet, roll over and snore… anymore. All the mâles that have contributed have said that their women can’t believe their luck, and far from missing out, they feel very lucky…that the dynamic has shifted and they are the focus now. Thé paralysed girls haven’t been quite so forthcoming, and some have said that their Male partners have sometimes lost all interest ( as what’s the point if she can’t feel it ?) but others have said that their blokes are very happy indeed.

Whats for sure is that it definitely doesn’t have to be over if you don’t want it to be, and lots are extremely ‘ happy ‘ eventually, having come to terms with the ‘ new situation ‘

Personally – well that would be telling, wouldn’t it   . You’d have to ask my girlfriend why she’s always smiling, I imagine?

I posted the below to the SCI group of paralysed people I’m in –

So I read a fair bit about being wheat and dairy intolerant.
I have tried a lactose and gluten free diet for a month.
I must STRESS that pre injury I definitely appeared to have no issues with either food type ( though dairy did seem to make my hay fever worse )
Over the month i have had an elimination of the bloating I have had for 2 years and definitely less spasms.
My skin is also a lot smoother and I feel happier too?

2 days ago I had 2 ice creams (dairy ) and a beer ( wheat ).
2 hours later my stomach swelled up and my spasms were off the scale.

Folks, I think the evidence is pretty clear. Post injury we are far more susceptible to this crap.

Try it – you have to be disciplined but compared to losing the ability to move, who really gives a flying fuck about drinking milk products and beer …?

Russ

BIG shout out to Ken Curtis for his guidance.