It’s dawned on me that my ‘inhibition’ seems to be getting me into trouble increasingly.
To me, if something is true, then it can’t be wrong to say it, you see.
Increasingly though, it’s a case of me being told ‘ you can’t say that !! ‘.
I find being told that quite confusing, and actually surprising. I mean, if you are in a private situation with someone, and you talk about something that’s factual, whether it be about me, about them, or about someone else.. well then how bad can that be?
But it seems that facts seem irrelevant to lots of people. More important is not talking about something, and being ‘ vanilla ‘ about everything really.
For example, I talked to a lady on the phone a while back. She told me that she was going to ‘lose 2 stones this summer’. Well being very pro exercise and diet, I was positive about her wish.
Then I met her a week later, and we had a really fun couple of hours. Yes, I could see that without 2 stones she would be better off.
So I asked her about her strategy for losing the 2 stones.
She looked at me ‘ angrily’.
I asked why ?
She said ‘ how dare you!’
I said ‘ what do you mean? You told me you were going to lose 2 stones, and I’m just asking you how you intend to do it ?’
She told me I should like her as she was, not have a ‘ jock attitude’ and that she was tired of abusive, controlling men.
I didn’t know what to say. I was shocked. She’d told me about her weight loss plan and I’d shown an interest. Surely it would have been worse not to care? Isn’t it better that I’m with her on the Health Drive?
Well she got really cross.. instead, insulted me and I gave her some back. She left, and that was that!
Ok now I’ve told people that tale, and people seem to ‘ side with her’.
The point is that in my brain I’ve said nothing bad?! On the contrary I’m congratulating her on her plan.
So it’s seems that I see things differently to other people, then. To me,nothing is ‘awkward’.
I mean, I get the principle of course. I’m trying to think of an example, as I write. I’ve just imagined meeting someone who I know had a dad/ brother who was a mass murderer. I guess people would avoid talking about that to the person? That might be a subject they’d avoid?
But I wouldn’t. I’d just ask questions, without embarrassment. Im thinking this through now, and thinking perhaps that makes me unusual, right?
I mean,if it happened, and was therefore a fact, then knowing they know the fact, then what’s wrong with me mentioning it?
It works all ways though – if it’s a ‘positive’ thing then I’d say it too. If a lady had a particularly impressive bodily feature… then I wouldn’t think it wrong to compliment her on that. Again I’m
thinking this through. I think that makes me odd, again?
In my accident I had frontal lobe concussion. People that have known me for decades say ‘ nah you’ve always been like that – no stop button’ and laughed a lot. But now I think it’s different. Before I must have had ‘ diplomacy’ to have been able to do my job. You have to ‘ act very professionally ‘ as an optometrist, and I didn’t ever get into hot water, for decades. So I must have been able to zip it, right?
Now I don’t seem able to ‘ not say ‘ if it’s factual and it comes into my head.
I get told I’m unkind/ rude here and there, and I’m genuinely amazed. How is the truth awkward and unmentionable? Except clearly, it is?
I’m going to talk to my GP about it and hopefully get to see someone qualified in head injury and personality change.
And no, this isn’t a joke post. 🤷
If I’ve ever offended you, ‘flippantly’ then it’s not been my aim.
I think it does make my company ‘ funny ‘ but only if you are relatively insensitive to stuff that I could say. Otherwise it seems you might find me ‘ uncomfortable company ‘ !
