KT TUNSTALL…. yes she can definitely sing.

But Christ can she talk crap? After her first ( of many many ) long and irritating ‘ funny stories ‘ I was thinking to myself ‘ God if she was my girlfriend, I’d certainly be asking, if not telling her, to shut up..’ – for her sake more than for mine. She just needs to sing a lot more and talk A LOT less. She has that terrible trait whereby she thinks she’s being entertaining, but doesn’t realise that when only 1 percent of the audience laughs, it is a large clue that she isn’t doing that well… but trust me, that REALLY didn’t stop her.

It dawned on me that all 5 in her band were female, and a quick google suggested that she ‘ bats for the other side ‘ … which is lovely for her, but perhaps she needs a few fellas around to tell her to zip it occasionally. I got the impression that she’s surrounded herself with Yes people that indulge her, rather than ground her. At one point she went round the band and asked each of them what their favourite dessert was… they all looked a bit embarrassed actually. If the audience is all over 8 years old then perhaps think of different questions, KT?

But I’m sure she’s a lovely lady!

The show was supposed to last 2 hours I think but she crapped on so much that when we decided to leave after 2 hours, she was still going strong ( well, talking shite ).

KT’s singing 8/10. KT as an experience 4/10 for me…and I wouldn’t do it again.

Shame.

Anyway tonight it’s Heaven here we come!

I also have extremely sore eyes atm. I have a raging blepharitis issue that is incredibly distracting. At least it takes my mind off being paralysed…!

Good to see Nick H the other night. His older brother was killed by a car, whilst cycling a few years ago. Dangerous stuff, isn’t it ? Nick promised his mum that he wouldn’t cycle again, and he hasn’t. I’d say that’s a reasonable reaction.

As I mentioned before, I irrigate my insides daily to get rid of my bodily wastes..( 💩 ) This is a form of colonic irrigating but I put the water into a hole in my tummy, rather than up my bum. The water then comes out, down a plastic Shute thingy, into the loo. Flush the loo, take off the Shute, throw it away, job done.

I take off the Shute when I think that no more will come out. This is based purely on guesswork, as I can’t feel anything.

Occasionally I get it wrong. I remove the Shute, and then before I have chance to put a ‘just in case pouch’ over the hole, there’s a torrent of shitty water spurting out at fairly high velocity… hitting as far as the wall in front of me. No matter how fast I move, it’s never fast enough, it seems.

When this happens I really don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I mean I can see the funny side, but it does leave me in a messy situation….

As it happens so rarely, I can’t ever see myself going to the bother of covering everything in plastic sheeting before I start..

Ahhh the joys of a paralysis….

Tonight we go to see KT Tunstall in north London. Bus, Tube, bus probably to get there, then bus, bus all the way back. Buses in London go far faster at night – less traffic, see – so you gotta weigh it up and see what’s quicker/ easier.

Tomorrow it’s a gig at Heaven, which is a ‘ gay’ nightclub in Charing Cross. If we went there tonight, rather than tomorrow, we could see a band called Amyl and the Sniffers. Ha! You have to laugh… and that does appeal to my sense of humour. If you don’t know, you sniff amyl nitrite for a euphoric ‘ high’, but a side effect is that it reduces tightness in your anus, thereby making that kind of sex less painful…. not that I know from experience, I might add. Amyl nitrite is the constituent drug in a Popper, very widely used I hear. Having never used drugs, I have no idea as to the euphoria you get, but I can see the attraction. It’s been almost 6 years since my life changed so much, that euphoria is an extremely unlikely feeling for me. If chemicals are the only way for me to ‘ get there’ then you could forgive me for doing that, couldn’t you? I wouldn’t however, I’m just too dyed in the wool anti drugs ( for myself ) to ever go there, but cannabis is pretty common in the world of paralysis, and im sure far more. An ‘ escape ‘ from that world once in a while is very understandable I think.

Still not tempted however.

To my youngest.

Hard to even imagine times like in the picture.

It’s been 4 years since I saw her or her sister on their birthdays..

But life is better for me, in general, so that’s good.

About 15 years ago I had a tooth removed and I had an implant put there instead. That’s where they drill into your jaw and make a metal peg, and then stick an artificial tooth on top of the peg, with super strong glue. It’s never supposed to come off, either.

A month ago mine did come off. ‘This was as well as the front tooth breaking off… anyway I did my usual and used superglue to stick it back in, trying not to get that all over my tongue and gum… and being partially successful. It did work, but then fell off again after a couple of days. So I tried it again, and the same happened. I think I stuck it back on about 5 times, but it always came off when I ate something sticky.

I then went on eBay and bought some proper dental glue stuff. I did figure that I had to get it exactly right, as this stuff would stick fast pretty quickly, so was careful not to put the tooth on the wrong way round!

It’s trickier than you think this dentistry malarkey, and is definitely best left to the professionals. I did stick it on, but not exactly as it should have been, probably because I used a bit too much glue, so it wouldn’t go on totally properly. I was reluctant to go to the dentist and tell him what I’d done, so thought I’d just leave it to settle. … and hey! It has.

Good as new now…

So if anyone wants any dentistry done, as long as it’s only gluing, I’m your man. Are there no end to my talents… ?

I had my catheter changed just now. I did actually do that myself a few times.. until it went wrong and I ended up in an ambulance. Now I leave it to the medics, not that that lot get it right every time, as I have found out to my eternal expense.

I had my hair cut yesterday. The Turkish lad cutting my hair showed me the video of the massacre in New Zealand. To say it’s chilling would scarcely describe it. It’s as though the killer is in one of those pointless but popular video war games, with him methodically going from room to room to kill everyone. He returns to each room to shoot most of the bodies again, to make absolutely sure. You get the impression that he is totally emotionless in the act, as a player would be in the game, where the targets aren’t actually real people.

I think it’s almost certainly going to spawn copycat shootings, in those that watched it and enjoyed it, and there are definitely going to be a lot of those amongst the disenchanted.

Automatic machine guns seriously don’t have a place in the world, other than strapped to soldiers.

I wouldn’t recommend watching that video btw.

And it was ALMOST the perfect day for a Welsh rugby fan….almost a Perfect Storm.

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Wendy and I went to the Natural History Museum last night to see Bohemian Rhapsody, as staged by the Lunar Cinema. Great films in iconic places.

They kindly gave me free tickets after I’d said the Valentines Night buses and tubes had prevented us getting there that night.

Amazing venue for anything, that place.

We went by bus and got there early – imagine that! 45 minutes rather than 4 hours, this time…

Well I’ll tell you what… things do seem to have changed. Two or three years ago I was regularly being made to feel very awkward/ being refused entry to buses when the bus had a baby’s buggy in the wheelchair space already. Drivers would frequently just not put down the ramp for me, or just shake their heads and drive off. Now that isn’t happening.

Before, it was quite common for a parent with a buggy to absolutely decline to give way to the wheelchair ( despite the law and the clear signage ). Now parents are smiling politely at me, moving buggies off the buses and ushering me on with cheery words. Males in particular are very gracious.

I do feel guilty when I effectively bump the pram off the bus, but to avoid confusion all round as to who has priority, I do board the bus and obviously thank the exiting buggy pusher.

It would seem to have crept into social convention then, this acceptance, at least in the areas I travel. The bus drivers too are smiling more.

Good, isn’t it?