Category Archives: Events

I happened across this article, read it and thought ‘ fuck me, I should be long dead ‘. But I’m not. And I’m not going anywhere just yet either!

Trying to Understand Suicide

** I put 💥s next to the bits that arguably apply to myself **

the basics of depression video

June 8, 2018 — Mike Williams was a pastor who was boundlessly compassionate to those who knew him.💥 He loved being outdoors. 💥He was smart enough to teach himself computer programming. “He was an amazing man,” says his daughter, Anna Ruth Williams of Atlanta.

He also killed himself at the age of 55.

In coming to terms with his death, there’s one question Anna Ruth has come to loathe above all others: “Why do you think he did it?” She once walked out on a date who asked her that.

“It’s not a choice. When you live in an orbit of despair, it’s not a choice to you. You have no way out. It’s like your final days of cancer. You have no choice. It is eating your body. You are going to pass, right?

The only choice I think you do have to make is to reach out for help,” she says.

Asking “why,” she explains, assumes that there was a single cause, when in reality, people die by suicide for complicated reasons.

Her dad, she says, had several important risk factors for suicide.

He had a chronic health condition💥💥💥 — type 1 diabetes. People with serious or chronic health💥💥💥 and mental health problems, those who have limited access to health care, and people struggling with addictionor substance abuse or who are having trouble sleeping💥 have a higher chance of dying by suicide.

Mike Williams was also in the midst of a life transition. 💥💥💥He had recently left a church in Denver to accept a post with another congregation in Tennessee. People going through stressful life events💥💥💥 — like relationship problems, 💥💥job loss💥💥, or financial 💥💥or school difficulties — have a higher chance of death from suicide. Other things in the environment increase the risk, too, including access to lethal means — like drugs or guns — and exposure to suicides in the news or in the community.

With the recent deaths of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain in the news this week, health professionals are worried others could follow suit. Studies have shown that the suicide rate rises after intense news coverage of these deaths.

“People hold stars in high esteem. They think, ‘If they could end up suffering and committing suicide, what hope do I have?’ says Robert Dicker, MD. He’s the associate director of child and adolescent psychiatry at Zucker Hillside Hospital in Glen Oaks, NY.

The last category of things that raise the odds of suicide has to do with a person’s history, including genetics, exposure to a traumatic 💥🏍🏍🏍💥💥💥or violent events in childhood or as an adult, or cultural beliefs that support suicide.

“While we have all these risk factors that we do know about, there’s not a simple formula where if you have four of these✅, you’re going to die by suicide, or if you have two, but one is really bad,✅ then you’re going to die by suicide. So we don’t have a formula,” says Nadine Kaslow, PhD, professor and vice chairwoman of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Emory University School of Medicine. She’s also chief psychologist at Grady Memorial Hospital in Atlanta.

Blimey, I’m an anomaly being alive?!

 

The ideal.

I’ve suggested that the people in question actually talk to me, rather than their lawyer talk to mine, as I’m not convinced that the lawyers ‘ interests are in getting me out next week as agreed. If it becomes a legal dispute then the only winners are the lawyers’ pockets.

I suggest a chat on the phone will resolve a lot, man to man ( so to speak without being sexist  ). Natalie Sellars ( good name for a salesperson ) the estate agent, has both our numbers.

Surely better, faster and free.

This’ll be interesting.

As my friends all know, I’m leaving the Property I am at in Portugal very soon.

The arrangement I had was to stay here as late as June 21st, but I hoped to leave sooner. To my amazement I’ve today been threatened with eviction on the 14th. That’s Thursday, today being Monday.

I can’t believe I’m in this situation ( soap opera style ).

I wonder will I have to get my Carer to barricade the doors and windows on Wednesday?

The people taking eventual possession are either sadistic or deranged in some way, to even think of doing this to me.

Ive looked at eviction in portugal and it can take an average of 31 months. Maybe I should think about staying til late 2020 then, instead of moving out next week?

It’ll all be caught on camera, don’t worry about that.

You definitely couldn’t make it up…

My Carer was asking about my pre injury life – what that was like, what I did etc, then about the 5 years since my injury.

I gave him a brief summary  of my adulthood, with sports, my business, my family life, my achievements, then my injury and the years since. I was aware that he was listening intently, and then became aware that he was listening more in shock.

When I’d finished, I smiled and asked him what he thought.

There was a pause, after which he just said ‘ well if you were a character in a soap opera, no one would actually believe your story, do you realise that?’

I do wish that only the first life had happened, and then the soap character could have just been written out… but in the nature of soaps the guy who was in the fatal accident then came back to life later on, in a whole new story line.

That’s pretty much the plot line in the real life version – making it more a documentary than a soap. I’ve no idea what will actually become of the character, as those episodes just haven’t been scripted yet, have they?

Good.

So I cleared my head by pouring myself into admin tasks – all using my phone, as always. Lists of things to do, with stuff checked off that I do. It’s quite effective as a strategy when the shite hits the fan, and makes you realise that all isn’t quite so bad ( well hopefully anyway ).

I actually ended up formulating new plans as a consequence of writing stuff down, which was unexpected, and better than the pre existing plan that I had –  for the years to come. My vista does keep changing, for sure, and I do have options to choose from, which is better than having no choice, and far better than no options at all..

I think I’ve decided what’s now ahead of me.

 

My own experience is typical, it seems.

 

why are so many caregiver persons unreliable?

Asked by NewportOC

We have gone through almost a dozen caregivers in the past two years. We have interviewed probably 100 in total, and each one of the person’s we have chosen has interviewed well, with all background checks, etc, coming back with flying colors. They tell the story of commitment and long term desires to help. Yet, with each and every one, within a couple of weeks (and in two cases a single day!), they jump ship. I just don’t understand the logic of accepting the assignment, after a complete understanding of what the daily routines, hours, etc, would be, and then telling us that it just isn’t what they thought it would be. Or, they don’t do light housework (even though discussed in the interviews). Or, they become a ‘no show’, and we are left empty handed. Just today, we are experiencing the ultimate (in my mind anyway), as this person actually moved in to mom’s house, as she commited to the “live-in” assignment. After just one week, she sent a text message late in the evening stating that she cannot deal with her own emotional issues . . . and she has not been seen or heard from since. Mom is at our house, and the caregiver left all of her personal belongings that she had brought to mom’s house. Are there really that many unreliable caregivers out there? Our interview process is pretty extensive and detailed so there really cannot be a reason for anyone to say that they just didn’t understand the job requirements. Not that mom is even all that ‘difficult’. She isn’t debilitated in any way. She had dementia and needs someone to watch out for her, and take her places since she cannot drive.

 

 

Blimey

In the usual way of carers, mine has let me down. He has unilaterally changed the plan ( without discussion ) which leaves me in a fix.

Ive learned that there are very few people that are actually true to their word in life, and am dealt with the consequences of that again and again. It’s a shame, as every single aspect of the relationship was fine, and ( I think ) I can speak for him here too.

Here we go again then. Definitely worse things have happened to me of course, and it’ll soon be history, but it has dented my faith in humanity once again.

So it’s back to uncertainty, where there 3 hours ago existed certainty. As I’ve said a few times – it’s suddenly changing the set plan that buggers me up – and im ALWAYS reliant on other people to stick to their side of the bargain.

 

Being as proactive as I can, anyway…

A big snake crossed the road in front of me today. I’ve not seen loads of snakes in my last, but find them pretty cool creatures for sure.

I remember plucking one out of a river in France as a child, seeing a couple in Wales, as a boy, seeing a large one slither into a lake I was canoeing in, and then today. We stopped next to it for a look, and it shot off as quickly as a person could run, across a parched field. It didn’t exactly look friendly, but I have zero fear of snakes so it was a positive for me!

I’d like to see a pterodactyl one day, so will keep hoping.