Thinking about today Russ. That day changed all our lives but none more than yours.

I know it might sound trite, but I mean it when I say how incredible you are. I know you had your dark moments – Christ knows who wouldn’t. But you embody positivity, determination, a good dollop of wit, charm and charisma that makes you a blast to know.

Pleased to know you Russ.

Robbie x

( Robbie was the one that pushed me off my bike )

Yesterday, as I said, I went to Oxford, by train, to meet Lily, my daughter.
We do chat about pretty much everything, without embarrassment, and she told me that her boyfriend ( Ioan – medical student 3rd year ) had the day before, had a practical.
Medical students use dead bodies ( cadavers ) to practice on, and she laughingly told me that a day earlier Ioan had been doing ‘ vaginas and anuses ‘
Then she said that the cadavers they use can be ones that they’ve had pickled for a long time, and are usually old people when they die, so that Ioan might have had his finger up a very old anus.

Anyway, this morning I told Gina about this, and she said that her husband, John’s, aunt and uncle had donated their bodies to medical science.

(Obviously) 🤦‍♂️ I then heard myself saying ‘ well wouldn’t that be funny if my daughter’s boyfriend had his finger up John’s auntie’s bum last week. What are the chances of THAT happening?!

Frontal lobe injury disinhibition – see, it’s a laugh a minute. 😂

Another shocker with the train.
The assistance didn’t turn up to get me off.

I stuck my front wheel into the train door to jam it open. The train won’t leave whilst it’s like that.

I also shouted HELP

This shouldn’t be necessary… the woman at Slough just didn’t bother to call ahead to Ealing Broadway DESPITE ME ACTUALLY ASKING HER TO … that being her job btw.

Obvs I’ve again written a complaint.
Hope they sack her. No excuse for her lack of performance. All staff carry walkie talkies and phones.

But… Elbow were good at the Hampton Court Festival on Saturday night.
Pia and I had fun for a bit.

It’ll be 9 years on Tuesday, since my crash.

Gulp.

Lovely to see Lily in Oxford today. She’s a honey.

Saw Roachford tonight.
Proper old skool.
I bought the tickets in early 2019 – no less than 6 postponements later – and I saw them.
I was quite young when I bought the tickets. All the men in the crowd were bald. I’m sure lots probably had hair when they bought the tickets.

Anyway – me n my homie Neal aren’t bald – nowhere near it. I still very much have to ask the barber to use those thinning scissors- cos my hair is too thick. Possibly that’s because my hair parallels my brain.

I was hungover when I got to the gig – blimey I’ve got another one tomorrow.

There’s a chance I may just drop dead tbh.

I went to a Bee Gees tribute band night tonight.
Bloody funny to be honest!!

Thanks to Nicola for coming with me…

X

I was in Kew the other day.
A lady walked up to me and said ‘ that’s a really cool Wheelchair’

I explained it was a wheelchair with an attachment on the front, which made it into a vehicle, that was actually quite fast!

She asked why I was in a chair etc and I told her.

She said ‘ do people stop you and comment on your chair?’

I said yes, especially teenagers and blokes in their 20’s, who always tell me it’s sick.

I said I get filmed quite a lot by people in cars as well. Filmed in general quite a lot, because I go so fast.

Then she said ‘ yes, I’ve filmed you myself’
I said ‘ have you?! ‘

She said ‘ yes. I sent the video to my mum. She said ‘ what the hell is that ?’ .. I said it’s this guy who speeds around in this crazy wheelchair ‘.

She said ‘ a video of you is bound to go viral at some point!’

Mmmm well I don’t mind… unless the Feds then come knocking! 😂

Kerry and I went to see The Carpenters Story in Richmond Theatre last night.

Because of it, I managed to miss Wales dispatching Ukraine from the World Cup. Now obviously everyone else in the world wanted Ukraine to win. Well they need a bit of morale boosting for sure.
But not at the expense of the Welsh !!
I’d be happy to see England step down and offer their place to Ukraine… but cmon, no way the Welsh should have to do that.

Anyway, I missed it, but saw The Carpenters Story.
I was expecting to see an enactment of the band formation, their global success, and then ultimately Karen sadly dying at 32, as a complication of anorexia.

We didn’t get that tho. Instead it was essentially a tribute band with a bit of background video footage.
And there was no way the lady singing was suffering from anorexia either. She looked more like she might have eaten Karen Carpenter. .. 😳

I’m concerned about Kerry. She’s online dating, and I think she may be about to fall for a Tinder Swindler type character.
Now I’ve watched the ( hilarious ) romance scam morning TV programs. Suave, athletic, Clooney’esque guy living abroad has telephone’ love affair’ with large ( I mean ‘ cuddly’ ) , granny looking, cat loving lady in Slough, who is then persuaded to hand over ever increasing amounts of cash, apparently to ‘ get a document released from customs / pay for an emergency medical procedure/ provide temporary funds after a mugging etc etc ‘

Kerry’s ‘ fella ‘ lives in Marseille, is selling his business, having a beautiful house built, has to come to London soon to ‘ sign documents’ at a solicitors. … mmmm ok then!
I’ve signed lots of stuff of late, from lawyers. They were all based about 5 miles away, yet I did all the signing remotely, using tech/ apps like Docusign to do it.
Now this fella is apparently having to catch planes to travel to a different country to sign his forms. Mmmmm. Just can’t see it. Obvs I’ve told K, and am finding it all very amusing, but she’s convinced she’ll be the next Mrs Brad Pitt soon, instead.
She’s too tight to loan anyone any money, so his dastardly plan isn’t going to work out for him, but I’m watching with interest!

I had planned to get a train to Oxford on Sunday, to see Lily, but the forecast said torrential rain… so I didn’t go.
Doh – it didn’t rain at all til about 10pm !
2022 forecasts aren’t that much better than the old ones used to be!

I had a date yesterday. I was a bit the worse for wear after Friday night… when I just felt like a drink ( after not drinking anything for about 10 days – well except for a dodgy white wine at the O2 ) … anyway, because I eat so little, alcohol definitely affects me more.. so less wine gets me more pi***ed.

Anyway… she was French. I do actually like the French. I can speak it reasonably well.. enough to get by, in any case.

We went to The Shard – same formula – at least the view is good, even if the date isn’t! But actually it was a really fun day. Quite early on I said ( after saying a word that I knew was the same in Frenchie language ) ‘ do the French have a word for ****** ? ‘ As she didn’t seem to get the joke, I kept doing it, purely to make myself laugh.

Like ‘ nice to have our first rendezvous in the Shard, isn’t it ? Do the french have a word for ‘ rendezvous’ ? ‘
It’s the same word, she said.

Oh ok, I said.

After a bit … I should have bought you flowers. A bouquet.
Do the french have a word for ‘ bouquet’ ?

It’s the same word, she said.

Oh ok, I said.

And blah blah blah is an entrepreneur.
Do the french have a word for ‘ entrepreneur ‘ ?

It’s the same word, she said.
Oh ok, I said.

And ..
You should keep the ticket as a souvenir of our date.
Do the french have a word for ‘ souvenir’ ?

It’s the same word, she said.
Oh ok, I said.

Obviously I dropped in ‘ I ope you find app – e – nis ‘ quite regularly. 🤦‍♂️😂

The daft things I do, just to entertain myself!
🤷🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🐸😂

Saw Alan Partridge at the O2 tonight.
Have to say, it was funny!

Thanks to Marky P for being my Carer!

It’s a hard job chasing me through the crowds as I try to mow them down, to be fair.

In the ‘ special’ area I was in, none other than wee Warwick Davies and his wee wife and two wee kids were all on my left.
Mrs wee Davies goes around on a weeny mobility scooter, and wee Warwick and his wee daughter use titsy Segway type things. The wee son walks.

They really are all very short, that’s for sure.

It would have just been untenable for me to bother them by asking for tiny autographs.

Thank god Kerry wasn’t there to dance / sidle up to them. One slip and she might have crushed the whole family.

And thank you to Toby the wheelchair mending man!
I seemed to be forever sitting right back in my chair, to the point where I could have easily tipped over.
Turns out a bolt had sheered off!

Toby drilled it out, but then we had no replacement M6 35mm hex bolt

Ta – dah! The budgie’s cage was held together with 30mm M6 bolts!

So – choice. Me or the budgies?!

I’m now sat upright again!