I came home yesterday.
I figured my own environment was going to be better adapted ( literally) for me than the hospital ( which was true ).

Tube and road for the Buddha in the wheelchair.
Gina followed me in a bus ( other than being with me on the Tube).

I was still MASSIVELY BLOATED- it’s not a great look tbh – but I knew it would be finite.
One high point was suddenly feeling sick 🤢.
Not been sick for about 8 years, and it’s not like I can rush to the loo or even lean over the bath or any of those types of things.
I grabbed a plastic bag just in time .. before chucking up 3 times.
I had to then wheelchair to the loo using one hand at a time, around several corners, swapping the full bag from hand to hand…
And spilling some…

I then had to avoid wheeling through the sick. Well once it’s on your wheels it goes wherever you go.
Bit of a nightmare then at a time I felt pretty low anyway.
Anyway I managed to sort it out, going back with disinfectant wipes and a long handled grabber to clean the floor.

I’d felt beyond sleepy prior to that .. but it’s amazing how awake that situation made me… 🤷💦💦💦

I had to wait a few hours for Gina to get back and she stayed here last night too.
Yes she had to be asked to help me several times, predictably ,
so just the biggest thanks to Gina for the last 5 days.
Overnight about 3 litres of urine came out of me as well as the other stuff 💩. At last progress has been made!
Different rules apply to me with ‘ bowel management post op ‘. I need a 💩 load more laxatives etc than a normal body would, or else I stay like a Buddha who owns a cake shop.

So I’m getting there!
Still bloody painful tho.

Thanks to Roy, Russ, Chris and Toby for being visitors. I was so sleepy throughout , I was nodding off continuously.
They aren’t boring guys! Honest! It was me and my drugs interacting.

I’m going to have to take it easy these next few days ( think the hospital said next few months ) but that’s not going to happen. Too much to do!

Stomach far flatter than yesterday but hardly Kat e Moss just yet.
Yesterday I thought my stitches were going to burst under the pressure, but they didn’t!

And Wales thrashing Australia was a tonic tbh. Can’t recall watching that happen EVER before.

Spasms definitely less too. That was the objective and so far it’s working.
Early days tho!

Having abdominal surgery makes you bloat.
Lying down makes your lungs fill with phlegm.

Then you want to cough up the phlegm.
Except when you cough that stresses the stitches in your stomach.

Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Desperate to cough up the crap in your lungs but every cough hurts like hell. Like being stabbed in the stomach.

Also just a case of having to wait for the gas to come out… aided so far by 3 packets of sugar free polos.
Normally that would give me drastic diarrhoea but no sign of that happening. Just a blessed signing fart every now and again.

🙏

This time for ‘abdominal’ surgery.

Plan – to do something about my spasms

Really working on those all the time. Intense pummel massage on parts of my legs which seem to be the ‘ knots ‘ .. and now surgery to alter my digestion ..

So, 22 to 26th I’ll be yet again in hospital.

Go me.

I’ve had far worse!
😂

It’s definitely the future…

She ( the sex robot ) makes repeated reference to
‘ your bitch wife ‘, and how unlike her she is programmed to be.

😂

Well that was interesting.
In a way not being able to ‘ feel ‘ being naked perhaps makes it easier to be?

Anyway those doing the painting/ drawing all seemed happy with me. I’ll be a novelty at least!

Can’t imagine there are many paraplegic life models happy to ‘ risk ‘ the experience.

Maybe I’ll be a MASSIVE demand.

Then again, maybe that’ll be it!?
😂♿️

Now here’s something I didn’t imagine doing, particularly in a wheelchair.. mind you that’s pretty much everything I do tbh! 😂

Anyway… tonight I’m going to be a Life Model.
Yep.. naked in a wheelchair and a roomful of strangers/ perverts drawing me.

Wonder how that’ll go down .. both ways.

In 2023 anything is allowed, right?

I might be in demand going forward.. become an Icon…?

But probably not. 😬

For some Godforsaken reason, people from America keep standing next to me and TALKING REALLY REALLY LOUDLY.

Wtf is wrong with Americans?
The person they are talking to is right next to them and still they SHOUT.

One yesterday was a french girl who’d clearly learned English in America.
The consequence? She shouted in a blend of French and American accented English.

The next one that does it is going to accidentally get crashed into at high speed by a wheelchair.

Bloody spasms are worse than ever. My legs are rigid and jerking more than ever.

I get little sleep as a consequence, as a rule.

I didnt go to Paul’s memorial today. To be spasming away at something so significant would make it so much less able to partake in. I just can’t function with jerking legs, whatever the occasion.

It’s grim.

Flippin drama on the roads.. but again someone is looking after me. Not long after exiting the very busy A4, my Triride had a major mechanical failure and stopped dead, with its brakes on.
Well that’s me buggered then. Had it happened 5 minutes earlier, I’d probably have been crushed in a pile up.

I looked pleadingly at a few passers by, tried to book a wheelchair taxi ( unavailable ) and then a Spanish lady said she’d give me a push so far. Then a gentleman said he’d help for a bit.
Then I called JD and Marky Bee. Mr 🐝 was half an hour away and volunteered his assistance when All of a sudden my buddy Roy cycled by. Roy was one of the Toulon 12 to very nearly see my death.. and yesterday was able to help me ( with his lad Marcus ) into his car, whilst loading my chair and triride into the back.

Rescued and delivered to Brentford by Roy.. thank you so much buddy. And helped by several in total.
Angels do walk amongst us.

Now I’m swept back 5 years. Old wheelchair and first ever Triride on it. Seems ever so slow by comparison, but it works. Glad I didn’t sell it!

As it is I think the breakdown may have been a big one, requiring a new machine. That’s the plan. Buy a new one, get the old one fixed, and sell it. I’ve had it ages and this was always going to happen one day.
More expense of course, as usual.

Additional thanks to Toby for repair of my hoist, and to Sue for my birthday lunch, for Nina for our time together, and to her lovely little girl for the non stop messing around and laughing.
Having a child in my home is a lovely feeling. I lost my own as little girls and I won’t ever get that back.

I’ve been reading a book about the effects of divorce and parents on the children. It’s sobering. As my ex wife effectively deprived them of their dad ( me ) any harmful emotional effects are down to her choices. Perhaps in time she’ll come to see and regret that, but I doubt it somehow. She doesn’t do ‘ being wrong about anything’ ever.

Back to my Guardian Angels 👼 – thank you!
❤️

Hey thanks to Rob and B’linder for coming to stay, and making me drink wine.. pre my birthday ( that’s today ) , and to Rob for working out why my lights kept tripping off. The blinking expensive water fountain! Maybe not with that water resistant electric bits? Not great if you’re a fountain

Emotional day yesterday making ( changing ) my Will. Well we should all do it in the first place and then probably adjust it on occasion, you know add/ remove stuff and people to reflect significant changes. It’s not easy though, ‘ officially addressing stuff legally’ to do with inheritance.
When you are married and live in an orthodox family, it’s straightforward, even to die intestate isn’t exactly risky, but when unmarried with kids that refuse to talk to you for years , it’s not so obvious what to do with what may suddenly become ‘available’.
Anyway it’s done now.

Let’s face it I could get crushed on a road any day. I mean so could most people.. but it’s more likely in a speeding wheelchair without any real protection and from which I can’t just jump off.

I obviously need to get married again… and start over, and get another bite of the cherry.
Stranger things have happened.

Looking forward to to seeing my parents later!
Not seen them actually ON my birthday since I was 18 I think?
Weird, but almost certainly true.

Also saw my little brother, Stu yesterday. Surprise visit as he passed through Brentford! Looking fitter than he has for 20 years, I have to say. Very fine short hairy legs sticking out of his shorts too. Male grooming is alive and well in Wales ( just look for a leg hair in the Welsh rugby team ) but has clearly not arrived in Griffithstown, near Pontypool. A lama would be proud of those legs.
Anyway fantastic to see little Bro Stu

Things going well with Nina. Nice to wake on my birthday to her face ( albeit via WhatsApp Video ) That’s not to say it’s better than waking to Gina’s face … but you know what I mean.

My youngest got what she needed to go to Bristol Uni too, yesterday, I heard I hope she has a fun 3 years. I still find it very strange, even after all this time, not having any involvement other than financial. 🤷🤦‍♂️. With Lily there was some communication for a while and even occasionally gratitude for financial assistance but it wasn’t ‘ formal’ because my ex wife absolutely refuses to engage in any way at all, making co parenting an impossibility.
Post Court there’s a formal arrangement in place.
The plus is that she can’t spin any more that I don’t give to my kids. Derrrrr maybe speak to me about what I’m sending; it would undoubtedly save duplication for a start?! Stubbornness like bomb proof concrete tho, that one.

Anyway! Should be a good day regardless.
Rainy of course but that’s not exactly a drama.