For sure I have a uti.
My symptoms absolutely scream uti.
I’ve started antibiotics again.
They may be ineffective, I don’t know.
I’m awaiting a specimen result but I do know my symptoms.
This infection has come and gone in severity but it’s definitely present in my system.
FOR SURE.

I slept 7 hours, no doubt through the spasms. I woke at 4am with a jerking right leg.
The left has joined in.
Sleep was a life reprieve. Had I not slept again – well you know what I’m saying.
It’s how my life is.
Like someone is pulling strings – let’s give the bloke a few hours sleep, so we can then keep him alive long enough to torment him for the next 4 days and nights..

And another 2 hour sleep night.
Spasming swaps seamlessly from one leg to the other.
I get one leg into some weird position and it stops jerking. Immediately the other takes over, spasming with the ferocity of the first.
It’s psychologically a head f***.
I dont havé any solutions for this any more. I have never had this extreme version of spasms. It’s far worse than anything before.
I don’t think I’ve a UTI because when I get those I certainly know it mentally. My personality alters to a worse version of myself.

Now I’m just bloody tired, have no appetite and dread going to bed. I have revisited going to sleep with my head on pillows on a table and that works if the spasms have stopped. If they haven’t I just get thrown around my chair and it’s not possible to sleep.
I tried it today. Gina helped me ( got me ) out of bed at 5AM and I tried sleeping head to table.
Spasms so strong I had no chance of sleeping.
She spends more and more nights here.
She’s a marvel and I’m so glad I have her.

And I seem to have gone backwards again. Spasms bad all day and night, and little sleep last night

🤷😢

Finally.
Solutions/treatment/good ( the correct ) advice.

My infection has gone. Possibly it had actually gone a bit ago. Really hard to say.
My bloody spasms have diminished by doing a few things at the right times of the day.
Principally the new medication that stops the internal spasms of my poor bladder ( which has been through the mill ). When that spasms ( mostly because of the presence of a ( foreign body ) catheter poking into it, my legs also spasm. Also any trapped gas inside me causes spasms. I can’t tell what the cause is specifically, but I have to always/ every day address the possibility ( probability ) of it happening.
I’m now on a medication that stops my bladder being so sensitive, and also something called Hiprex which makes your bladder contents more acidic ( especially when taken with a horse sized Vitamin C supplement. The Vit C further makes your pee inside more acidic. In that internal environment bacteria can’t multiply so die.
The jury seems out on whether it kills a UTI but it seems in most people to make it unlikely that you’ll get one In the first place. I had been told you couldn’t take it til any UTI was gone, and I thought mine hadn’t. Now I’m not anywhere near as certain. It may have gone a bit ago but my symptoms persisted so I thought it hadn’t.
Last night I had more than 9 hours sleep. Not right through but kinda close.
Nine plus hours is more in total than I’ve been getting in 3/4 nights, so it’s transformational.
I had another test ( called Urodynamics ) yesterday which measured bladder function more accurately. It’s all information for Mr Shah, my urologist, whom I’m wish I met a long time ago.

I have been at rock bottom for such a long time but I am not now.
Thanks to my family and friends that have supported me in the darkness.
I’ve not been able to ‘live ‘ at all for 2 months but now everything seems far less shite.

I’m definitely not going to ever be complacent about medication taking or strategies to prevent recurrence.

And another awful night.
Slept from 2.45 til 3.45. That was it.

My antibiotic obviously isn’t the right one for my infection.

More tests tomorrow.
God I hope I sleep a bit tonight. I’m like a zombie.

It goes on. I had 2 hours sleep again.
My wee has a lot of floating filaments in it.
That’s UTI territory.
I’m taking the antibiotics still and thinking it’s come back.
I don’t know what to do.
I’ve emailed the urologist and he’s on holiday.
I get to talk to him on Monday I hope.

I’m in despair again.

The gig was brilliant.
A positive force in Camden Electric Ballroom
If Eve is reading this, I’d so love to hear from you.

Yet again a Bad night of spasms , tho I did get 5 hours sleep. My spasms have Changed. They are hard to interpret. It’s a code without an obvious solution. Certain spasms mean certain things you get to realise, but you may get a spasm that goes on for hours before the ‘reason’ occurs.
It’s very depressing for sure.

And I’m getting nightmares featuring my two daughters still. They are the ages they were at the time of my injury. They are angry and shouting at me. It’s very distressing. I don’t usually have dreams so this is new.

I’m in a hole for sure, that I’ve been in for 6 weeks pretty much.
I have some lovely friends that have been there along the way. Their presence helps to ease the pain but definitely doesn’t make it go away. Thank you to Leigh and Bev, to Chris, to Charlie, to Kerry too. And to my Mum who is always trying her utmost, and to my brother Stu. It’s good to know I still have family. And of course to Gina.

Jesus I try. It’s not like I just give up. Tonight I’ve gone to a gig. By myself. I’m cold, it’s wet and it’s in North London. I know that if I don’t go and use my ticket(s) I’ll consider myself having failed, so I do go, despite my thoughts saying ‘ what’s the fing point?’
The Pigeon Detectives are always quite something and maybe they’ll lift me. I hope So. I need sleep and no nightmares.

Well it came back.
Unbelievably I forgot to take my antibiotics on Saturday and the remaining bacteria 🦠 clearly made a rapid comeback.
I realised I had created a perfect storm.
No antibiotics and a whole flask of Marmite drink when I went to the Brentford Vs West Ham game. I felt fine ( ish ) on Saturday but the night was really bad, with awful spasms and only an hour of sleep ( 12.30-1.30 am ).

Marmite is Brewer’s yeast, it turned out. That’s the perfect soup for bacteria to multiply in… which they clearly did very well.

Ffs, what a stupid error. I mean I just didn’t know of course I’d done anything wrong. I was just so pleased I didn’t feel awful that I let a bit of joy into my life and eased off my focus.

Well just so you know then. If you have a UTI or anything infection problem in your urinâry system… DON’T DRINK MARMITE!

On Sunday ( yesterday ) I took double dose ( possibly triple ) antibiotics and actually slept last night. Broken sleep, but sleep.

I’m now doing everything by the book
No sugar, no alcohol, my antibiotics , loads of water and no bloody Marmite.

Christ.
At last I slept and didn’t spasm ( to my knowledge ).
Eight hours.

What a difference it makes.
A week more of antibiotics and no alcohol for me.

Gotta put this behind me, and I hope it does that.

🙏