I’ve done ( for me ) the unthinkable .. Contacted my doctor and requested a prescription for antidepressants.

I can’t be the Tough Guy and deal with this through the solitude of my own company any longer.

Sunshine and exercise don’t lift my mood to any degree any longer, so I need to do it medically.
I feel like I’ve massively let myself down in succumbing .. But I’m sure people have buckled for ‘lesser reasons ‘ than being alone and paralysed in a none too glamourous hotel room, solitary for spells that are way too long.

The alternatives to giving into this option would make far worse reading.