I’m outside the storage unit, where my furniture is, waiting for Boris to arrive in my car. He’s coming here to meet me and then collect a list of stuff. Thankfully I have the list!

As he has no smartphone or a map, I’m not altogether confident that I’ll see him. When you read his words, you have to insert large pauses between each one of the words, ok?

Me-  how will you find the storage place?

B – I    will     look     on    your    map.. If necessary, I will make a sketch …

I showed him and he looked. I looked for giveaway signs that he was impressed by the technology, but no, nothing – that would have been against his spartan technophobe code.

He made a drawing.

We’ll see then….

Hes actually appeared to cheer up a bit? Perhaps there’s a bloodless corpse somewhere near that he has feasted on? Or maybe he’s chatted to the folks back home in Transylvania? Little Drac and Morticia, his youngest, may have softened him up?

There have been no females in the flat for 48 hours, so perhaps that’s it?

As he let me out today, half an hour ago, and I’m not making this up, he sniffed the air, then summoned me to him. Look, he said, pointing at the floor. What, I said,this being the first time that he had noticed anything at all on any floor. Blood! He said. Drips of blood!

I looked and indeed there was a trail, the splodges perhaps 2 feet apart. I ventured ‘ perhaps you should investigate?’ He said no. Perhaps you should call the police? He said no need.

Some old person could be bleeding to death nearby? I said.

Then he said ( and this cannot be normal, even in his homeland ) ‘ Maybe it’s the menstrual cycle of a woman ‘

Tbh, that possibility hadn’t remotely occurred to me, nor probably any of you. It was weird, period.

( see what I did there..? 😂)

I fear he was covering his tracks, and a drained body was nearby.

He has probably never heard of a blog, let alone read mine, so he won’t know I’ve rumbled him, but if this diary goes very quiet, then it’s likely I’ll soon be found with 2 small puncture wounds in my neck, in West London….