Glad Boris reads my blog…,,

Mmm what a mess we are still in.

Boris talks a lot about us ‘ beating the virus’ What he never does is call out the large slice of the population that are causing the continuous spread.
The virus doesn’t spread itself. The virus is spread by people. There’s not anyone in the UK who doesn’t know how they are SUPPOSED TO DO. No one at all.
Yet still the spread is rapid. No matter what ‘ restrictions’ are in place across the country, people still by and large do what suits them. There are very few people that adhere to the rules in place.
It doesn’t help that there’s vagueness within the rules. For example ‘ you can mix with one family’ … well what do you really think is meant by that ? What would actually be EFFECTIVE against viral spread? Well quite clearly it’s going to be effective if each family has ONE other family that they mutually agree on. What’s clearly NOT effective is that you can spend time with one family one day and then spend the next day with a totally different family, or not even the next day, but later the same day…its quite clear ( in all the vagueness ) that families mix regularly with a whole lot of different families, but one after the other, so are somehow compliant. But it’s not going to work if people do that. It’s obvious that it hasn’t worked. One because the rules are vague, and two because people don’t want to follow them anyway.
But additionally there is a huge gaping hole in the ‘ fight strategy’. That hole is the School Hole. Personally I don’t think the adults in the UK are ‘ reckless enough’ to be entirely responsible for the high transmission rates. For sure there’s pretty large scale non rule following, but it’s not enough to explain the huge numbers testing positive. What does explain those numbers is the mingling of the 7.5 million children in school ( pre 16 ) and the further 4 million in ‘higher education’. As that massive number of humans has carried on mingling pretty much as they have always done, is it any wonder that we find ourselves here in this situation?
The first ‘ lockdown’ that people in the main took seriously ( because anyone and everyone actually thought they might die ) involved the country almost actually coming to a standstill. The streets were empty, the roads were deserted, and schools were shut. Transmission numbers fell and people stopped dying in their thousands. Had we been ordered to wear masks then the numbers wouldn’t have gone up like they did in the first place.
Now by and large people have limited their socialising and adults don’t mix in a pre pandemic manner… but for kids life hasn’t changed very much. They don’t fear the virus because it doesn’t affect them, and they are told going to school is fine. You certainly can’t blame them. True that kids are far less ‘ disciplined’ than they were 30 years ago, but they still have some respect for their parents and teachers’ will, and would comply in the main if they were absolutely told to. However they aren’t told to. Schools are open as per usual ( with some one way corridors and some sanitizers ) but we have 7.5 million humans going back and forth without masks every day inside buildings that don’t have air filtration systems. The teachers have no way to make it all ‘ safe ‘, try as indeed they might.
Online learning would seem to only work well ( ish ) for the private schools that have the financial resources to make it happen. The State schools just can’t do it.
Do I know the solutions? Well yes, shut schools and give all the kids high speed broadband and new iPads, with a quiet classroom room in their homes, and instil a work ethic that doesn’t come naturally in almost all of those kids. Ensure they all sit at the iPads between 9 and 4 Monday to Friday, and don’t see their friends at all. Let them do their homework in the evenings… and accept that that’s just how it HAS to be for few months.
All dead easy, right? Oh and also a parent has to work from home so that the kids are safe. ..

But it’s not going to happen like that. Aside from the fact that nowhere near enough kids have suitable home environments to do the above, the ‘ mental health ‘ of children is given a lot of weight ( though I personally can’t recall ever minding.. being not at school, and I didn’t have 24/7 phone access to my mates ) So of course the interruption to their education has to be dealt with. So why not postpone their exams ( those that have them ) until early August ie by 2 months, and accept that this year there won’t be an 8 week Summer Holiday. Yes, parents won’t be able to jet off on family holidays in July and August, but is that really too much to put up with? Well it’s not, is it? Not really… when the effect is that the spread of the virus is halted here and now by kids not being at school for 2 months, and after that 2 months the vaccination programme will have progressed so far that the balance of ‘ viral effect’ will have tipped our way so that WE, rather than the virus, have control.

Aside from all that I’d like to thank the lovely Lizzy for giving me a family Christmas. It’s been a while since I had one of those! It was lovely to be able to to spend it with her and her 2 lovely children.
At the same time though I spent a fair amount of time thinking about last Christmas… pre pandemic of course, when I spent Christmas Day with Chris ( and Rob S for 2 hours at a pub ( imagine?! ) and then with Chris and his lovely Dad ( along with his now Ex girlfriend, and her 2 sons ). We did have a really brilliant day, and I really felt a connection with his Dad. Very very sadly, that super gentleman died 3 months later ( decades after cancer was actually supposed to have killed him .. ) So I’d like to dedicate this post to Chris’s Dad.
I took a picture of them that day, and I framed one for them both. When Chris went to his Dad’s house after his death, there in the middle of the kitchen table where he mostly sat was the framed picture I’d given to him.

That thought makes me smile.

Having had what seems like a mouthful of stitches for the last 2 weeks.. I could tell that they didn’t need to be in there anymore… and also was sick of that ‘ foodtrap rotting food taste that you get ( if you know what I mean ) presumably from the bacteria that infest the end of the stitches… so with the help of Lizzy ( torch holder ) and a small mirror in one hand and a nail scissors in the other.. I just took my stitches out.

Well that feels better straight away.

Anybody need any amateur dentistry…?! 😂

Ok so I’m now reading that ‘ brain fog ‘ is a very common post COVID symptom. Having read the description it’s exactly what I’ve been experiencing for the last 6/8 weeks.

Having had a previous brain injury I’m at more risk of having a neurological problem post COVID than someone who hasn’t.
I didn’t notice any COVID symptoms, so this is conjecture, but I’ve never actually had colds, headaches, the flu etc etc ( unlike most people ) so i wouldn’t be at all surprised if I’d caught COVID and been asymptomatic… but now possibly have a ‘ long COVID’ symptom.

I wonder.. and it would explain my ongoing ( but improving ) brain fog that I definitely have.

Well I never.
👍

This morning I was outside on my terrace, chatting to a friend that had socially distanced climbed over my railing to see me. We were about 10 feet apart ( obviously ).
Anyway… as we talked a fella out walking his dog, past my railings, called up to me and having got my attention said ‘ do you know that Carer of yours watches porn in your living room?
A little taken aback, I laughed and said ‘ oh really?’
He said yes, he does. And it’s hardcore, the sort of stuff that would make my wife’s eyes water ‘

At this point I’m still not taking him seriously, because for one my Help is female, not a ‘ he’.
Also she just doesn’t seem the type to be honest… not that you can tell though I suppose… but still I’d have put money on her probably NEVER having watched porn at all, and more money on it not being in my living room.

The thing is that I have a massive 75 inch telly, and no curtains… and any passer by could feasibly see exactly what was on the telly, from outside on the path. The tv is so big that it would be like watching a sex scene in the Odeon, even when stood outside. …

Then the penny dropped.
My lodger… the Butter wouldn’t melt in my mouth, respectful, deferential, wouldn’t say boo to a goose typa fella…. hmmm I think I’ll look him in the eye and ask him.

So I see him the next day and say ‘ Daniel… my neighbour said he could see you watching porn on my television…’

Porn, he says, what eees thees?

SEX I said… on my telly.

No? He says.

Well he saw you… I said ( calling his bluff … )

Ahhh he said, looking all mystified.. I just for one mineet connected my phone to your TV to try it …

( yeah right.. and porn just forced its way onto your phone at that particular moment, did it? And then once it came on you immediately turned it off… rather than sat down in my armchair and ‘ enjoyed yourself’ …? Hmmmm? ) But I didn’t say that.. I just laughed internally and told him to watch sex on his own ( bloody ) TV in future.

I took a dump on the pavement, pulled up a deckchair and sat watching it.
A copper came up to me and said “and what do you think your doing?”
I said “nothing, just minding my own business”

Oh, and if my one time rugby coach cum fantastic maths teacher is reading this, as I’m told he might be…

I remember you so well, Mr Hodge, and I wanted to say hello and thank you. I’m with Leigh Jones at this very moment and we are remembering you very fondly.
Just so you know Sir !

Russ.

When I was 19 I had my 3 front teeth knocked out, playing rugby. Actually not totally OUT, more broken and pushed back into the roof of my mouth. It was the ONE AND ONLY TIME that I’d EVER ( as in EVER EVER ! ) forgotten my gumshield, for either playing or training, and I’d played for 10 years by then. It’s not even that common to get a blow to the mouth whilst playing ( as in it’s hardly every game ) but of course that particular day when I didn’t have a gumshield ( and I’d even considered not going on the field ) I had a clash of heads with my fellow centre and broke 3 teeth…. Rod Lewis was his name. I think he’s a solicitor now. I haven’t seen him in decades, but I suppose he’s forever left his mark on me.
It was playing against Bristol Poly, and I did obviously have to come off, and then wait for an ambulance… to take me to hospital. Whilst waiting, a girl I knew called Lisa Collins ( rugby groupie material ) came up with her friend and expressed their concern… I was obviously spewing blood from my mouth, much to their horror.. and being of a Welsh Bravado persuasion I said to Lisa’s friend ‘ Do you fancy a French kiss …?’
Rightly so, she recoiled, but evidently thought it was humour in adversity… that girl went on to become my wife.. I wonder had I not said those words would that have happened?
Life is a series of Sliding Doors isn’t it? Had I worn a gumshield, kept my teeth, not come off the field, not tried to be funny to some girl, I’d probably not have ended up in London, not married her, not had the kids I had etc etc etc.
I wouldn’t have gone on a cycle trip with a bunch of school dads because I’d never have met them. I’d not have had a catastrophic cycle crash, and I wouldn’t now be paraplegic.

But maybe I would? Maybe I’d have had a crash doing something else altogether, maybe years sooner than I did. Maybe I wouldn’t have even got to my forties, who knows? It’s all impossible to say.

The above wasn’t what I was going to write in this post, but as I don’t ‘ plan ‘ posts it doesn’t matter if I write something different to my initial intention anyway. What I was going to write about was me going to the dentist today, which IS as a consequence of me knocking my teeth out that day.
That ambulance that afternoon took me to the Bristol Infirmary, where a doctor in A and E, without any anaesthetic, told me to open wide, then shoved his fingers into my mouth, and pulled my teeth back quickly ( with them amazingly not just falling out ) had a quick look and sent me out…. Not knowing any better, and ‘ trusting the Doctor’ I assumed they’d just be ok… but accepted the ( terrible) pain that I got whilst having to drink cold beer in the bar afterwards. It wasn’t like I could just go home to bed – we were in Bristol and I lived in Cardiff. It was an away game, and there was a coach ride back to Cardiff at 10 pm. What else was I supposed to do other than drink? It numbed the pain I’m sure, at the same time as being excruciating. I recall trying to drink my beer out of the side of my mouth, so it was less painful. Mmmm it all seems pretty stupid now, but hey.

Anyway, the next day I came to my senses a bit and took myself to Cardiff University Dental Hospital. The dental surgeon there pretty much said the doctor in Bristol should be arrested for what he’d done to me… ( but obviously that didn’t happen ) He treated my mouth over 2 weeks or so, and carefully repositioned my now crooked teeth, in the broken and splintered sockets, and made a dental splint ( like a gumshield- the irony isn’t wasted on me ) that I had to wear for 3 months, until the bone mended and the teeth were solid again in the sockets. After that he took the roots out, because he said they were all dying/ dead and my teeth would go black, and fitted veneers over the teeth. I had those veneers for at least 10 years.. and was quite happy with them. Yes, they weren’t a perfect colour I suppose, but I didn’t care. The only person that they seemed to bother was that girl I’d met the day I had em knocked out, who was by now my wife.
So I succumbed to her pressure and had the veneers changed, at great expense obviously… and some whitening stuff done to make them match better…

Since then it was probably every 2 years or so that one of the veneers broke … and then having been forced to change them to crowns … it has been every 2/3 years that one of the crowns broke off… until a few months ago that my daughter Lily made me a cake … and it was so hard that when I bit it and broke off my crown good and proper ( right in the middle of the pandemic when dentists weren’t available much ) that I had to have a single tooth denture …

A front tooth denture isn’t actually that great. The thing moves about and gets in the way of eating a lot. It’s far worse than the mildly discoloured veneers that I definitely should have stuck with. I’d have saved myself a good ten thousand pounds for sure too. … but hey you can’t turn back time.

So back to today then. Today I went to have a front tooth implant, or at least have the first part of the procedure. I didn’t know how complicated it was going to be. I had a molar implant about 20 years ago and I don’t recall it being a big deal … but wow, having a front one is fairly nasty I can tell you.
First the guy had to tear/ pull/ cut out a big chunk of bone from my jaw at the front ( I had about 20 …REALLY PAINFUL injections just before to numb my whole face pretty much ). He didn’t use a drill, just a sharp pliers that he forced into my jaw, applying substantial force ( I wonder how a less strong dentist, or a female dentist perhaps, would even be able to do it ? ) for a good 5 minutes non stop, kinda pushing and slightly twisting at the same time, to ‘ bore a channel ‘ into my jaw, eventually pulling out an almond ( out of its shell ) nut sized piece of jawbone, all bloody obviously, which he proudly showed me, as if to say ‘ that’s why it took so much effort’ ..

Then, between suctioning out all the blood that flowed profusely, he forced in lots of ‘ chemical bone graft material ‘, followed by the inner part of the implant. That’s the bit that’ll hold the peg in place, once that’s screwed into it in a few months time. The delay is to let the thing set, before the peg post is screwed in, before the false tooth is glued onto that. I listened carefully to that bit about having to let the bone set for 3 months before it’s deemed solid enough to be able to trust a tooth fixed to it … and then wondered how on earth I was told to move from bed to wheelchair 48 hours after having my whole spine rodded and bolted in 2016… with the disastrous consequences that entailed when the screws pulled out … somewhat predictably right ? Maybe I should have asked my dentist to do my back surgery…?

A few hours later and it’s started to hurt. The anaesthetic is evidently wearing off.. and I’ve been told to take the painkillers and the prophylactic ( infection prevention ) antibiotics for a week. Dental injections always make me feel a bit crap, they always have, so I’ll go to bed early today. I’ve not slept well for a while, which perhaps doesn’t help with the memory thing… which for sure is on my mind a lot ( when I remember..🤦‍♂️) I find myself testing myself. Can I remember this person and his her wife/ husband’s / child’s name etc etc? Half the time I can’t, but some of those times the names will them come to me and I think maybe I’m ok?
I wonder.
Writing this post has made me ponder the Sliding Doors of Life.. and made me wonder and question which doors I walked through. Post divorce it’s common to look back and wish you hadn’t ever gone there. Divorce is often bitter, and I’d be lying if I said all is calm even 3 years after, because it really really isn’t.
And the longer the acrimony continues, the more you wish you’d kicked that door shut and walked on through another.

Right. For about a month I’ve had marked, and I mean MARKED memory loss. Also I’m just not thinking straight, I can’t think of words that should just spring to mind, and my incredible( ish… ) wit just seems to have completely deserted me. I think that’s why I haven’t written much in this diary for a bit – I just am NOT thinking normally..

As I can’t get an appointment with a GP, I’ll have to find another way to get an assessment.
As I had a brain injury in my crash ( from which I did seem to recover ?) I’m thinking perhaps there’s a knock on ( no pun intended ) effect.

I can’t remember long term events, people’s names, you name it. I go through my phone contacts and lots of them I don’t remember at all.
I mean that’s just not normal.

Oh dear.. now what have I got !?
Jeez.