I’m at Lizzy’s house, and I’m cranking on the crank machine in her garage. The garage is adjacent to the house, and in between there are 40 feet of gravel. It’s impossible to propel a wheelchair over gravel, so I have to ask Lizzy to drag me backwards to the garage. If you try to go forwards, the little front wheels of the wheelchair quickly sink into the gravel and I come to a stop, and I can’t get myself that far backwards in deep gravel.

So as I said I’m in the garage, cranking with one arm.

A lovely SUV drives into her ( long gravel ) driveway, up to near where I am, and out jumps a gentleman that I recognise as one of her neighbours. He’s about my age, and Lizzy had previously described him to me as the smartest ( as in cleverest ) man she knows.

He jumps out of his car, and says ( smiling ) to the chap in the garage in the wheelchair using one arm to make a gym machine work ‘ your dog is out on the road !’

I guess he had had several options… really.

He had obviously known who the dog belonged to.

In order of preference maybe..
1 Call/ catch the dog, and bring it to the house
2 Get Lizzy by knocking on her door and telling her about the dog
3 Tell the chap in the wheelchair that Lizzy’s dog was loose, and leave him to resolve it.

This is where the complete disconnect takes place. The not seeing that the chap in the wheelchair has absolutely no chance of first negotiating the 100 feet of gravel to the main road, and then absolutely no chance of catching a loose dog somewhere out on a road, and then absolutely absolutely no chance of leading said dog back to the house. I mean what, I’d have to attach a lead and then wheel through gravel pulling a dog? It’s just beyond impossible.

So if the cleverest man in town can’t weigh up the options and choose one that’ll work for a disabled person… then what chance do the rest of the people have of doing something that works for the wheelchair population?

Over the last 7 years I’ve learned to take with a pinch ( ok a large sack ) of salt, the things I’m told regarding Accessibilty.
Once I attended a talk, having phoned to ask if the building was wheelchair accessible. Having been told by the girl on the phone that it was, I was surprised to see the 12 steps leading to the front door, with no other way in. Other times there’ll be a fairly negotiable front entrance but then a right angled corner and 3 steps down to the kitchen/ dining room where the occasion is being held… but no mention of this in the discussion about me coming. It’s as though people live in places without actually noticing anything about how their houses are constructed.
Without sounding patronising, it’s hard to press people about the ACTUAL layout of their dwellings, in order to get the real story reference the challenges that lie in wait, simply because people who don’t have access challenges just don’t notice steps and obstacles that they can trot up or dodge sideways around….

🤷

Yesterday I was able to book tickets to go to a comedy club, in May.

Imagine it? A taste of ‘ normal life’ again.
It felt quite strange booking it, and the notion of actually going feels even stranger.
Of course it may yet be cancelled, but to actually have something normal in my diary to actually GO TO is a real novelty.

On the upside I’ve been listening to the GLC a fair bit whilst cranking.
If you don’t know about THE GOLDIE LOOKING CHAIN.. then do give them a listen on Spotify.
Their social commentary in their lyrics is bloody genius.

And it’s pure Welsh humour.
Sometimes I’m laughing so much I have to stop cranking!

A great day for the Welsh yesterday. We can’t not win the Six Nations now.. who’d have thought?!

I’m awake ( from about 4am ). My spasms wake me very often these days so I don’t sleep well that often.
I actually looked back at my own blog too, and realised just how much I used to write, and how much I had to say.
Is this a lockdown thing that now I just don’t want to write, or is it because my life isn’t that eventful any more? Looking back, it’s obvious that regular calamities were my life, and I seriously don’t know how I managed to NOT kill myself, just to escape the constant torture.
I think that if it weren’t for the exercise I’m doing now that I’d be in a bad place, mentally, for sure, but I’m fairly ok. The non stop shite weather is something I’m sick of tbh, and a proper Spring start will Im sure help all of us.
Some variety in my life would be ever so welcome. I do hope to go to the States to get a new ibot… but obviously that’s on hold til we can travel, and I want to visit my own flat in Portugal too. Traveling now is something I can’t do independently, so I need a companion that is also willing and able to help me with washing and dressing and transfers into and out of bed. And there aren’t many people who’d want to do that ( understandably ). That factor also places an odd dynamic on a trip – im totally at the mercy of my companion’s degree of engagement into my absolute needs. If they aren’t into it much, I’m stuffed.
I see a future ahead where my travel is going to have to be with paid help quite often. My cataclysmic spine surgery certainly did alter my future 20/30 years In a way I hadn’t even imagined.

After my buddy, Roy the Boy, invited me to Kew Gardens, I joined up.

It’s £70 odd to join, but then you can go as often as you want… and take a friend. Given I live practically next to it, that’s a no brainer.
Unfortunately there’s a river to cross, so it’s about a mile and a half to actually get there, but I’ve been 4 times in 8 days and it’s beautiful in there. Obviously I’d been before, but not that often. Daft how you don’t visit stuff that’s on your doorstep.
Great to go there with Catherine, and another time with Leigh, with plenty more visits to go, I’m sure.

Cranking 2 hours a day, every day, hasn’t lost its appeal. When you look in the mirror and think ‘ blimey, I look different ( better ) ‘ then it’s a strong motivation to keep doing it. It’s not that I weigh significantly less ( 4/5 kilos ), it’s that my muscle vs fat distribution has altered a LOT.
I found the same crank machine on EBay and had it delivered to Sevenoaks, so I can still do it there. Then Lizzy adopted it as her exercise regime… with remarkable results. Because it’s quite an unpleasant exercise, most people don’t want to do it. Cycling or running are both more ‘normal/ palatable’ but because it engages far more of your body ( not in my case, because more than half of me just refuses to work at all ) than those two exercises, it has more effect. The rowing ergo is much the same. You don’t see a queue at the gym for the rowing machines, and you don’t see many ( any ) fat rowers. I wonder why that is …?!

After watching a program called What the Health on Netflix, both of us have become ‘ plant eaters ‘ . It’s quite compelling that humans are physiologically designed like plant eaters – same digestive system, and teeth. Also given they aren’t naturally agile enough to actually catch animals to eat them ( you ever tried catching a chicken or a deer ? ) I don’t see how they can have evolved as carnivores.. can you? Our systems respond far better to a plant based diet ( far less cancer/ high blood pressure and obesity etc ) not to mention that farmed meat and fish is rammed full of chemical contamination that also kills us slowly. Also the livestock and dairy industries have led to MASSIVE deforestation all over the globe, surely is enough to persuade humanity to do a logical about turn ..? Except it won’t, since there’s way too much money involved in food, and then medicines necessary to keep us alive, because that food poisons us … and money talks far more loudly than human health and planetary survival.
Yes, I’d go and live in the woods too… except they aren’t accessible…

I watched the Harry and Meghan interview yesterday. Their next door neighbour, Oprah, did it. Why can’t Oprah say her name? It’s Meg that rhymes with smeg, not Meg that sounds like May. I don’t think Oprah is that bright, so perfect to interview the very dim Harry, who seems to have been brainwashed by his wife into thinking that of course they can go and live in LA, and lead ‘ totally normal lives’ in their 14 million dollar house, living next door to Oprah Winfrey, and signing billion dollar deals with Netflix, yet still being outraged that the British taxpayer won’t pay for their million quid a year bodyguarding, and that their kids aren’t called Prince and Princess ( when that’s quite clearly just a rule of succession – they are about a hundred’th in line to the throne, so no, you aren’t princes and princesses ) and then… when she ( May-Gan ) can’t have it all, screams the ‘ it’s because I’m Black ‘ card … at every turn…. well to me, America and far away is the best place for them. Had Harry married a Sloan from Surrey, he’d DEFINITELY still be a normal royal, but he didn’t, he was seduced by the sultry May- Gan. Poor kid didn’t have a chance I’m sure. Apparently May-Gan didn’t know she had to be deferential to The Queen, yes even behind closed doors… thinking that she was just like any other grandma. Seriously? What the hell did those 2 talk about in the months before she was introduced to The Queen?
I fell asleep before the end of the program, so did it not class of anything of importance, but it was irritating. THEY are irritating, and irrelevant in every way.

And Happy St David’s Day to all Welsh people out there, as well as to all those who want to be Welsh.
In this age when you can trans to being a totally different biological sex…. and flit from one ‘ persuasion’ to another on a whim… then I propose that it be possible to convert to being Welsh.

I know there’ll be a rush when this gets out… so get in early boys and girls ( and gender neutrals too – obviously )

Oh and isn’t it a nice bonus to have thrashed England yesterday… On the back of our wins against Scotland and Ireland already. Bit unexpected all this.. but it’s ever so nice ! 👊👍🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

Just now I was going along a main road at about 25 mph in my Triride. As is quite common the car behind seemed reluctant to overtake me. I think people feel a bit nervous about what might happen? I could also hear the sounding of a horn that I assumed was the car behind that car giving the slowed driver a hard time.

They both then overtook me, and yes the car behind the car behind was driving pretty close to the one in front of it. The first car was being driven by an old lady.
As they both disappeared into the distance the aggressive driver seemed to back off and stop harassing the old lady though. Nevertheless I felt a bit aggrieved that it had happened at all, and decided that if I caught up at the next red light I’d have a word, and say something about aggressive driving.
Indeed there was a red light that soon appeared and the angry driver had stopped. As I approached I saw that car had one brake light not working. That was enough to change my thinking…. and when I tapped on the driver’s side window and the fella rolled it down…. I said ‘ Hi. You’ve got a faulty brake light ‘.
The ( black ) young fella said ‘ oh have I ? Thank you! Which one is it ?’
I said ‘ the left one ‘.

He gave me a massive smile and said ‘ Really appreciate it. Have a great day!’

And it all could have gone so differently, couldn’t it…..?

It’s not unusual in relationships to go through problems, to have arguments and challenges.
What I always face though is the fact that the other person just doesn’t even begin to realise just how much my paralysis affects every aspect of my existence, including the way I think, and the way I am, her refrain therefore being ‘ but this is nothing to do with your paralysis!’ Except if I wasn’t paralysed, this very situation right now wouldn’t have occurred, that other thing wouldn’t have happened in the first place… the way it affects every waking moment, and how much I’m awake at night, as per this post at 5.12 am now … I remember being normal, and having the freedom to think normally, without the huge and dark presence of my spinal cord injury, with all the life strangulation i have. I remember having the liberty that normality brings. The Liberty that means for example that your relationship troubles are by far at that moment the most significant and emotional thing in your head. I remember that very well. I remember when having had a night without sleep that it was a really big deal to me, that it would ruin my day. Now tho, a sleepless night is nothing to me. I have far worse challenges in my every day than feeling a bit tired.
Now though the ‘ difficulty’ the relationship is going through is, to me, always, always dwarfed by the blinding migraine of paralysis, and always insignificant compared to the constant other omnipresent problems I have.

I’ve never had a girlfriend who gets that. For her the relationship blip MUST be surely the most emotional thing in my head. Except it’s not. I don’t have the freedom to think that way. The ‘other stuff’ always trumps and overrides, way exceeding the day to day ups and downs and ebbs and flows that health normality allows you.

Date: 16-02-2021

Your NHS number: Xxxxxxxxx

Dear RUSSELL DAWKINS,

We are writing to you as you have previously been identified as someone thought to be clinically extremely vulnerable and at high risk of becoming very unwell if you catch COVID-19. We wrote to you last month advising you to follow shielding guidance until 21 February. 

We are now extending that guidance and advising you to shield until 31 March 2021. We will write to you again in mid-March with further advice.

Whilst the national lockdown has been effective and cases of COVID-19 are now falling, the levels of infection in the community remain high and the virus continues to pose a high risk to people across the country. The risk remains particularly high for those considered clinically extremely vulnerable. Therefore, the Government strongly advises you to continue to follow the shielding measures that were introduced in January to help you protect yourself. More information on the guidance and the support available to you can be found on GOV.​UK, or in your previous letter dated 7 January 2021 if you received one.

You are advised to stay at home as much as possible, although you can still go outdoors carefully to exercise or to attend health appointments. You are strongly encouraged to work from home if you can. If you cannot work from home then you should not attend work.

Whilst you are strongly advised to follow these extra precautionary shielding measures to help keep yourself safe, this remains guidance, not the law. You must, however, follow the lockdown rules that apply to everyone.

Please make sure your GP has your most up to date contact details, including your home address and, if possible, a personal email address, so that we can contact you quickly in the event that the guidance changes in the future. 

This letter can be used as evidence for your employer and the Department for Work and Pensions to show that you cannot work outside your home until at least 31 March 2021, including for Statutory Sick Pay (SSP) and Employment and Support Allowance (ESA) purposes. 

If you need support to help you follow the guidance, especially if you are unable to arrange this yourself or through friends, family, or other support networks, your local council may be able to help. You can contact your council and register for support or request priority access to a supermarket delivery slot at the Shielding Support website: https://www.gov.uk/coronavirus-shielding-support. If you already have priority access to a supermarket delivery slot that will continue – you do not need to do anything further.

You are advised not to go to shops or pharmacies. Instead try to shop online, ask family or friends to collect shopping for you or get help with food and medicine deliveries from NHS Volunteer Responders. 

It is also really important to continue to look after your mental health. The Every Mind Matters website is accessible for advice and practical steps that you can take to support your wellbeing and manage your mental health during this pandemic. If you or someone you care for are experiencing a mental health crisis, we urge you to make contact with a local health professional immediately. 

COVID-19 vaccinations

Clinically extremely vulnerable adults are receiving priority access to vaccination against COVID-19 before the general population. The vaccine is likely to make an important contribution towards protecting you from COVID-19. People are being contacted about vaccinations by the NHS, but if you have not been offered a vaccination, we are now asking you to come forward to book a vaccination. 

The easiest way to arrange a vaccination is through the national booking service which can be accessed at https://www.nhs.uk/covid-vaccination. The system allows patients to choose a time slot and location that suits them. Anyone unable to book online can call 119 free of charge, anytime between 7am and 11pmseven days a week. If a suitable and convenient slot is not available, you can also call your GP practice. 

Even if you have had both doses of the vaccine, you should continue to follow this shielding guidance as we continue to assess the impact of vaccination among all groups. The people you live with should continue to follow the public health rules and guidance as long as they are in place, regardless of whether you or they have received the vaccine.

We will continue to update you as the situation changes and, once again, we thank you for your efforts to keep yourself and others safe.

Yours sincerely,

Matt Hancock

Secretary of State for Health and Social Care

Robert Jenrick

Secretary of State for Housing, Communities and Local Government

Well it’s definitely not over, is it? Not by a long way. I’m not even supposed to go out. 😳

My ‘ routine’ in the morning includes being in a standing chair ( where I’m strapped into a standing position ) for an hour.
To do this, my regular chair has to be taken outside to my terrace, and swapped for the Standing chair, which is kept outside under cover.

This morning though I needed to adjust a brake on my chair, so I asked my help to take the wheels off and turn it upside down, and then spin it around so I can reach the right part with a spanner. I can’t bend, so the only way to do it is with one arm from a lying position in bed. Having finished that, my help said ‘ it’s a bit dirty, so I’ll brush the mud off it ‘
I suggested she do that outside ( obviously ) to make less mess.
Ultimately the chair had to go outside anyway, because it was being swapped for the other one.
Get this for logic though –

She CARRIED the wheelchair ( minus the wheels ) outside, brushed off the mud, then CARRIED the chair back inside, then put the wheels on, then pushed it outside again…
I watch with a mixture of amusement and complete dumbfounded’ness as she does this kind of thing. I mean I love her to bits for her general dedication to me… but sometimes I do wonder how she’s managed to stay, well, stay alive..