Oh yes, it was the American who supplied the sushi ) and for smuggling in wine as well. 

I’m sure Saville committed far worse crimes than that, yet still was feted here…. 

I’m in a ward of 4. 

Only 2 of us speak. 

The other two do actually have the capacity to, but opt not to. 

One is a young guy, very sad. The other is around 60 and definitely is a little arrogant. And Christ can this fella snore. 

Last night it was like the rebirth of Concorde in here. 

Someone pressed the nurse button to get them to wake him. 

I broached the subject with him this morning as our wheels passed in the corridor. He looked shocked that I talked to him. I’m not entirely sure he recognised me, even tho he sleeps 10 feet from me. 

He said he wasn’t aware that he’d ever snored… I asked if he was married?

As he answered in the affirmative, I wondered if he’d ever actually spoken  to his wife….

We had so little time, squeezing a visit in between a full on day of SM stuff. 

I’m getting marginally better at things ( about time ) so can see an end point, dimly. 

I’ve thought a lot recently about how people in chairs are perceived. 

I’ve imagined friends of mine ‘incapacitated’ and then wondered if I’d think any differently of them. 

Funny enough, it’s generally my ‘heroes’ that I’ve thought about. I’ve never had heroes in perhaps the traditional ‘ boy’s ‘ sense, instead I’ve had people that I know as my inspirational figures. 

Dan, my brothers, my father, Larry, Billy F, Piran, Dickie I, James Randall,  James C, Rob, Ian Matthews  to name a few here, mostly (but not all ) sporting types admittedly, whom I’ve seen at first hand suffering in silence, perservering through adversity. 

Of course, envisaging any of them in chairs , in my mind’s eye, has not ‘lessened’ them at all, in fact in some way it’s elevated my hypothetical  mental opinion of them. 

When I try to apply that logic to myself it doesn’t seem to apply. Daft I know, but true. I can only see myself as less than before, in terms of presence, stature, relevance, importance, everything really. 

I’ve already said that that doesn’t make sense in my own mindset of logic, perhaps I need to ‘achieve’ something in my new incarnation first to be comfortable with it. 

There are guys, and girls here, far younger than me, whose future is far from guaranteed. I feel so much for them, single, devoid often of lower sensation or movement. 

Where does that leave their future?

To me, they’re all incredible, but what will become of them once they leave here?

Will they marry, be parents, work, be happy?

Statistically they’ll be ok, but they must wonder how?

I hope they make it through this. 

We had so little time, squeezing a visit in between a full on day of SM stuff. 

I’m getting marginally better at things ( about time ) so can see an end point, dimly. 

I’ve thought a lot recently about how people in chairs are perceived. 

I’ve imagined friends of mine ‘incapacitated’ and then wondered if I’d think any differently of them. 

Funny enough, it’s generally my ‘heroes’ that I’ve thought about. I’ve never had heroes in perhaps the traditional ‘ boy’s ‘ sense, instead I’ve had people that I know as my inspirational figures. 

Dan, my brothers, my father, Larry, Billy F, Piran, Dickie I, James C, Rob,  to name a few here, mostly sporting types admittedly, whom I’ve seen at first hand suffering in silence, perservering through adversity. 

Of course, envisaging any of them in chairs , in my mind’s eye, has not ‘lessened’ them at all, in fact in some way it’s elevated my hypothetical  mental opinion of them. 

When I try to apply that logic to myself it doesn’t seem to apply. Daft I know, but true. I can only see myself as less than before, in terms of presence, stature, relevance, importance, everything really. 

I’ve already said that that doesn’t make sense in my own mindset of logic, perhaps I need to ‘achieve’ something in my new incarnation first to be comfortable with it. 

There are guys, and girls here, far younger than me, whose future is far from guaranteed. I feel so much for them, single, devoid often of lower sensation or movement. 

Where does that leave their future?

To me, they’re all incredible, but what will become of them once they leave here?

Will they marry, be parents, work, be happy?

Statistically they’ll be ok, but they must wonder how?

I hope they make it through this. 

Russ, 

I spent most of Tuesday hunched over a massive bar heater reading your blog, barking at a group of Albanians and Poles in a language and accent they don’t really understand. No real change then, although the heater is new..

I’ve spent literally hours looking blankly at the bloody laptop trying to figure out what to write. I’m no further forward so I’m just going to wing it.

Plainly you are going through my greatest fear. I am gutted for you and your family.

AND

I know you will all be ok. You have always struck me as a stupidly inspirational guy. (the word order is correct) The love and support you have generated evidenced by your blog alone confirms this. Somehow I reckon that you will now continue to inspire people on an acutely different level. And I am one of them.

Being a builder it’s not often that one comes across stories of “hardness” that don’t involve nail guns and/or tile adhesive – don’t ask. Until one dark winter night in early December 2007…..when my guys called me outside at Riverview Grove at about 7pm, I was expecting some neighbour’s car to be wearing 1/2 tonne of “misplaced” drywall. I really did not expect to see some nutter in cycle pants (sporting the customary racing kayak over the shoulder) passing by post paddle, wet with bare feet.

 

After that no one moaned about much at all.

 

It still makes me laugh every time I put on my thermals in the winter.

All that aside, I need new glasses. Get back to work. Please. 

And, if I can help in any way please just ask.

 

All the best mate

Pete

Fireworks, plus bands, plus seeing loads of mates on Friday night, great fun. 

Debs, Neal, Dan , Sas, Larry, Sarah, Pat, Martin, Berj, Jo, Tel, Jade, Colin, Pia, Cliff, Emily, Miles, Olly, Ella and Toby, Emma , Tim, Carolin, Holly, plus Dani, Lily and Amber. I must have left people out!

Thank you so much to the staff at The Park Club for making it so much easier for me to see everything and partake. 

Last year ( as the oldest Big Kid in town, I was jumping up and down with the kids when the bands played ) this year sort of bouncing up and down in the wheelchair wasn’t quite the same, but I made the best of it. 

The fairground rides that I did last year weren’t possible this year; I guess that’s something I’ve got to just accept. 

I saw Cherie, the wonder massage lady on Saturday, followed by the rugby on the telly. Then we went out for dinner ( flagging by now, with Nick and Sophia )

The wheelchair push to the restaurant was straight from Death Ride 2000. 

Why they can’t give me a bloody wheelchair that:

1. Goes in a straight line,

2. Doesn’t weigh a ton,

3. Let’s me sit upright, and

4. Doesn’t scrape against every tiny bump in the pavement , god knows let alone go over kerbs, 

.. I don’t know!

I must have almost been thrown out of the front 50 times on the mile push to Chiswick High Road. 

By the time we got there, Dani and I were both nervous wrecks. 

We decided to get a wheelchair taxi back, to ensure my very survival. 

In the middle of the night poor Dani was quite violently ill, in a food poisoning induced way. 

I lay there for some time desperately hoping I wouldn’t befall the same fate. Just imagine poor Dani having to deal with me projectile vomiting in bed, whils Ill herself….mercifully it didn’t happen. 

Today we went to Camberley in the sunshine to watch Lily score 4 of the goals in Richmond U-13’s  6-0  thrashing of Camberley and Frimley.  

I felt very proud, of Lily and all the girls that played, expertly coached by Rob  Leach. 

Was good to catch up with some of the parents too, especially Martin and Jax. 

You could argue that the weekend wasn’t so very different to pre accident , except I’d have thrown in 4 hours of cycling/ kayaking as well, before. 

The other thing now is that I feel the cold very badly. All my life, well since I was 12, I’ve been cold resistant. 

When I was 12 I decided that I’d not wear my coat or blazer on my 3 mile walk to school any more, I’d carry it but not put it on. If I felt the cold , I’d just mentally tell myself I was warm. After a while it worked and I’d never get cold in the first place. 

The downside was that I was always bloody hot, when everyone else was comfy!

I’ll post another post later, from a friend ( our builder, Pete ) which kinda illustrates that..

Now, I have the cold resilience of a 90 year old lady, and I find that very hard to deal with. Maybe I’ll regain a bit in time..?

Have a look at the short video on YouTube 

Very proud of the girls!

We don’t have the best record against them….