And now..

.. I’ve got ‘tennis elbow’ in my right arm.

So that’s :

No legs

Little core

One useful arm.

Last night I went to my work place, the first time in almost 9 months.

My lab manager, Nev, picked me up from home and drove me in.

I wanted to ‘facilitate’ in an optometry peer discussion evening.
Twenty professional staff were there to earn continuing education points, an annual requirement these days.
I was, to be honest, a little nervous about going in, but knew it would be easier surrounded by my loyal staff, and without the public on the premises.

To my dismay, I could do very little in my consulting room of 15 years. Most instruments were out of reach, desk tops were either too high, or had legs that got in the way of my chair, and my lack of core muscular use rendered me liable to fall into the lap of any potential patient – awkward at best…

On the plus side, I chaired the discussion fairly confidently ( aware that my voice is weak ) and engaged everyone in the talk pretty successfully, as was my facilitator’s obligation.

All my staff there were a delight. I don’t think I’ve been kissed so much since my wedding day.
I’d like to thank them all for making it easier for me.
And for the kisses.

As is my wont, I tried to get as many as possible to come for a drink afterwards. About half did, and stayed for a couple of hours.
We had a lot of fun, perhaps something that’s been missing a little since my unscheduled spine injury.
Mitul and Jas drove me home to Chiswick too, and unpacked me the other end.

So good and bad – I can still be a positive force at work via my experience and personality, but currently in terms of being able to ‘practice’ I’m very limited, until room equipment and furniture is replaced.
Lots to think about.

FEB
27
A solution to my excess solution.
So…. After 6 weeks of pissing my pants, the medical profession finally acknowledged that I do indeed have a UTI.

I’ll look forward to the antibiotics kicking in.

My buddy, Martin, took me to sunny Carshalton for a driving assessment yesterday.
He reserved the whole day for me basically, and it took a whole day!

I was interviewed, my reactions were measured, my mobility assessed, my eyesight checked, you name it.

I got into an adapted car about an hour later. You steer with your left hand holding onto a knob fixed to the steering wheel, and accelerate/ brake with a handle on the right side.
Trust me, it’s hardly modern engineering at its best,more something your metalwork teacher might have knocked up in his lunchtime.
There was a little ‘track’, some juctions, and some cones.
I had to negotiate all the above and reverse park too between two other cars. That last bit I did, expecting to wreck at least one of them…
However, I ‘passed’ with flying colours, it would seem.
They’ve obviously had some bad drivers there before me!
I’ve never cared about cars, or been in any way macho about driving. It didn’t thrill me to drive, but it’s a thing I need to do to buy me freedom, give me independence and enable me to reduce my parasite status.
It’ll enable me to give my girls lifts, and empower me to contribute.
I’m not obliged to have lessons before I hit the roads, which surprises me, but there you go.

As far as actually getting a car is concerned, that’s far from straightforward.
The Government Motability scheme is in disarray – as the millions that are claiming to be disabled are all being reassessed. I’ve joined the back of the queue.
It may be many months before I get something, and may have to buy a car myself and have it adapted, only to sell it again once I’ve qualified for a Government sponsored vehicle.
Going back to work isn’t really an option until I can get there under my own steam, as it were.

Last night I went to watch the boxers train again – they’re all looking a lot fitter than before – and no wonder, Lee and Ali are properly beasting them!
Wish I was fighting … Tho not from a wheelchair.

Then we went out for dinner, the bad acoustics there really bringing home my lack of voice volume. I could only really be heard by someone sitting next to me. It makes me feel socially inadequate, frankly.

I can’t say I’m enjoying being disabled.

Hey superstar!

Here’s the first deal – you are allowed one day per month in bed for the entire day. Any more than that and my jealousy would be unbearable. Here’s the second deal – if you have all day laying in bed – do you think that maybe you could let me know you are finally free for me to give you a call?? J

You are going through difficult transition two. Coming home into what you had before yet will never access in that way again. Every day is going to be a day of courage. You are going to have to take the courage pill and get out there and deal with whatever happens. You will drive again and your confidence in the chair can only get better. Turn your head off when you have to. You used to turn that head off every time you competed, took calculated risk in a paddle, on your bike, on your skis. Your confidence was shaken but you will have to package the uncertainty away and turn off the switch now and then like you used to. You are doing great !

Gym with Adam Jones,and dinner at Frank and Elizabeth’s have been among my return to Chiswick highlights.

I’m in that ‘prisoner in my own home’ phase at the moment, to a degree – not able to go out on my own, no car I can drive, not enough wheelchair confidence to just leave the house.
I spent the WHOLE day yesterday in bed. Ok, so I did bed based exercises, but I feel a bit of a loser for not getting out.
Tomorrow I go with my buddy, Martin, for a driving assessment in Surrey – a private track and a selection of hand controlled cars.
Will help get that straight in my head .. Will I be a ‘danger on the roads’ or not?
Gym Tuesday, wed and thurs, including boxing! Wheelchair pad and glove work… Look out all bad ass midgets out there, I’m coming after you.
I even go to work on Wednesday evening,for the first time – an optometrist training event – run by me. It should go ok.
Poker and book club night on thurs .. Neither of which I’ve done before. I think I was too much of a loose cannon to ever be invited before, my Tourette’s tendencies probably putting people off?
Friday, and off up north for the weekend by train to a party in the country.
Christ, what was that about being a prisoner in my home?