I was sent this email by Sian, from way back….
It would seem that I’m maybe ‘revisiting’ my ‘vagrant look’ then..

Russ,
How you do’in ???
I’m sure that we reminisced about the time you were on the Welsh news being interviewed about something or other, you were a student then of course, and you looked liked a tramp. I think you had a rain coat on and a bottle in a bag…I remember it causing great hilarity at the time.
I hope that the people that approach you aren’t too intimidating, maybe carry some MACE spray …I did get muddled though are you being mistaken for a hobo or accosted by them…maybe both??

It sounds so wonderful where you are….NOT!! So far:

Inclement, in fact inconsiderate weather
Weird TV ads
Unsafe pavements
Hobos
Crap food joints..

Sian

In fact, I was on my lunch break from the building site I was ‘labouring’ on, in my Uni holidays ( wasn’t the sort that might get a job in the library, me ) and for sure, most tramps in Cardiff would have looked smarter than I did.
And had a better diet.

Pretty much every relative I had saw me on the telly, on the Welsh news, in the piece about the increasing problem of the number of homeless on the streets of the capital city.
The film makers knew I wasn’t homeless, but as I had all the trappings of a tramp, they took loads of footage of me!

See, don’t believe EVERYTHING you see on the TV !

… To Bear for taking me out tonight ( mmmm, all my best times seem to involve alcohol … Then again, maybe they always did? )

To Alwyn for visiting again, to John and Kelly for a fun night at theirs, to Ben, Tracey and Tim for s great day last week, to John and Cindy for their ongoing magnificence in every way.

The snow is finally melting, the sun is now actually warm, rather than polar, and American people are now occasionally even walking outside.

It’s occurred to me that I may be sometimes mistaken for a ‘hobo’ – a (wheelchair bound) beggar.. As people sort of turn the other way as I roll along the pavement. It’s a bit of an issue here, the whole begging thing.
Quite a few times, guys have asked me for financial assistance as I try to steer in a straight line along the ‘sidewalk’.

It seems sort of weird to me that I’m a target for beggars, but there you go.
As I’m possibly more likely to feel other people’s pain now, maybe it’s not a bad strategy after all.

It’s snowing again. There’ll be a foot by morning – cancelled hospital rehab, no taxis running, most businesses closed for trade.

Alwyn made it here again, by 8 pm, from a few hundred miles away.
He ‘joked’ that it was quicker for him to travel from here to Toulon in France 19 months ago when I crashed, than it took to get here today from Conneticutt. No joking matter ( and no humour intended ) , but irony taken.

So a brothers’ night in – thank God ( being generally careful not to blaspheme here in the Bible Belt ) we had some food and wine in my fridge ( thanks Cindy ) as every bar and restaurant in town shut as soon as the flakes started to settle.

It’s far better (for me ) that he’s here for 2 days; otherwise a spell of more solitary might ensue.

My legs continue to do their own thing, stimulated daily as they are… They look bigger/ stronger, though definitely not connected to my conscious control when they decide to move around.

The snow had just about melted too, allowing me to take control of my whereabouts a little. Now I fear it’s back to illegal film downloads on my iPad again.
I watched The Birdman last night….how on earth did it get Oscars…the Lovies voting for a film about the mental torture of being a fading actor I think?

I can tell you, there are worse ways to end up.

Virtually every advert on the TV is about deep fried food, cockroach control, or medicines.

Maybe with less food around, there’d be less cockroaches, and less need for medicines to treat diet related conditions…

It is quite disconcerting – legally they have to read out loud all the possible side effects of any drug advertised.

So there is some headache tablet being advertised, scenes of blue skies and children smiling and playing, with a voice-over advising of the possibility of erectile dysfunction and piles.

Only in America.

Thanks to Jamie for taking the ( amateur ) video.

To John, Cindy, Ben, Tracey, Pia, Amber R, Alwyn, Dani and my girls, Ali, Monique, Arti, Dan, Emily, Virginia, and everybody that’s been in touch via any of the many media options available today…. You’ve all made this week tolerable (God, even fun?!) and I am grateful.

So yesterday my Big Brother, Alwyn, came to visit.

He helped me in every way, despite having to spend a lot of time on his phone and PC.

Obviously it culminated in a big night out… Far too much to drink, random conversations with strangers, lots of nostalgia, a lot of tears, me puking ( not over myself, or in public ) and a fairly fuzzy head today.

He’s on the phone as I type, doing his job, dealing with his own hangover very professionally.

We had the sort of night only the closest of close people could have.

Thank you, Alwyn.
Xx

Dear All,

I write to you from Louisville , Kentucky , USA where I’m all by myself in a not very glamorous downtown hotel, and it’s pretty late.

I’m here, having volunteered my body ( such as it is ) to medical research, having crashed my bike 19 months ago on what was supposed to have been a fun weekend cycling in the South of France.

I ‘awoke’ weeks later with the gradual realisation that I was paralysed from the rib cage down, and given no hope of recovery.

Too heavily medicated to be shocked, and too emaciated and broken to even try to get out of bed, I had no option, other than a sort of resignation.

Life since then hasn’t been too good, being paraplegic isn’t fun, but nonetheless life has gone on.
We set up a charity to help people with Spinal Cord Injuries to get something positive back through the medium of sport.

We’ve had a few events already, and the next one is a ‘white collar boxing night’ – 9 pairs of total amateurs learn to box, then go 3 rounds in front of their colleagues, friends and families, in a proper ring, with a real referee, 3 proper judges, and a lot of cameras.

On March 14th at 8pm in The Park Club, in Acton, West London, you’re invited to come and support 20 brave total ameteurs.

It would be pretty cool if you all came to support them , and my charity.

Tickets you get from

http://www.theparkclub.co.uk/sections/parx-boxing/pages/charity-boxing-event

The venue is really brilliant , a big tennis dome in lovely grounds, free parking included, lots of really hi tech AV and lights.
A few celebs will be kicking around, and none other than Johnny Nelson, former world champion and Sky Sports Ringside presenter, is the chief judge.

There will be an amazing atmosphere all night, inspired by the determination of the boxers ( all really nice, regular guys, like you lot ) and the absolute support of their friends.

Please do your best to come.

I’m back from the States for a week, to come to the event and to see my wife and be home for my daughter’s 11th birthday.

You don’t need to book a table or anything complicated, you’ll be able to wander about and find eachother on the night, and please feel free to invite your husbands/ wives/ girlfriends/ secretaries/ mates/ employees ( delete as appropriate) It won’t be really bloody, there won’t be any knock outs ( or it’s unlikely ) but you’ll see 100% commitment.

So please come, have a great time, and show some support.

Thanks so much,

Russ Dawkins.

It’s 4 am and I’m thinking, as in my mind is at work, thoughts flying about in different directions.

My girls leave tomorrow, at midday.
That won’t be a good moment for me.

I’m thinking about my life before – lived at full speed – being a dad, husband, a boss at work, having a full on life outside work, all the sports I did ( every day ), a social life that was way too overcommitted, all leading to far too little sleep. But with hindsight how easy life was, compared to now, how it is now with relatively so few things in it, yet so much more of a battle, with far less fulfilment.