Realising my propensity for accidents is set in stone, I have invested in, and fitted a rear view mirror to my right hand Triride grip, and bought and fitted extra lights to go along with the ones I already had.

My helmet is Gay Pink and very visible, and has reflective strips on it, as well as flashing lights.

Along with my new tattoos, I wouldn’t be out of place in Madame Jo-Jo’s, after closing time.

In some of the ‘ more extreme ‘ fetish clubs in the big cities, it’s actually quite acceptable to turn up in nothing but a wheelchair, with catheter and Pee bag fitted  ( properly ) – when there’s actually no medical reason for either.

If my optical career closes, then who knows how laterally I might have to think to earn a few quid?

I may be advertising for a ( pretend ) nurse to push me around those venues – preferably a female obviously – all ‘ uniform ‘ to be provided .

Please apply, with attached photo ( must have been taken within the last 20 years ).