Both my elbows hurt increasingly, my right forearm too, along with quite severe pain from my left thumb.

Given I’ve only got my arms, that doesn’t look good for the years ahead, does it?

I d broken my thumb 3 months before my near fatal crash , and I’m convinced it’s the reason i ultimately fell off my bike in June in Toulon. I spend a lot of time thinking about it, going over it in my head. My accident was so avoidable.

I’d planned to run the London Marathon this year.

Thats run it, not wheeled around it.

I’ve not given up hope of doing just that in the future.

I’ve had my first, and second, independant  drive.

Ok, the first had Pia driving close behind me in her car, in case I crashed or something, but today I was all by myself.

I had had help getting in and out, and with the stowing of my chair etc, but it’s a step forward.

If  I were to crash and the car caught fire, then that  would be it, but what are the chances of that?

My bloody feet won’t stay on the foot rest of my chair, instead are falling off the front and kind of skimming along the ground, potentially causing an accident, so I’m hoping there’s an adjustment that can be made to my footrest to make them stay put?

Emily, my God daughter, took me for a haircut, and an ice cream just now. Was lovely to be out with her. I wonder if people thought she was my carer, daughter, or if I was loaded and she was my gold digging girlfriend ?

Who knows?

Whatever, it was lovely to see her.

Ive had my brother Alwyn’s and Nadia’s 2 youngest staying for the last 4 days – a dose of London for my girls’ American cousins. My girls loved having them around – acting as tour guides, you might say.  I’m sure that London is a fairly eye opening  place for 2 young kids, but they didn’t seem too fazed. Good on ’em.

Its t’s been great having them here, but at the same time bloody frustrating that I couldn’t do any of the things I used to be able to do, with them.

My weird world continues..

In France, if you break your back, and your spinal cord, you’re kept in hospital for at least a year.
Indeed, when Dani asked, whilst in Toulon, when I’d be home, that was the response.
Imagine her reaction.
I’d gone cycling for the weekend and it would be June 2014 before I was back..

Once back in the UK, the philosophy is very much to teach patients the bare minimum and then to get them out of hospital.
I don’t believe that’s to give people back their lives, rather that it’s a funding issue.
Which is best?
I wouldn’t want to have stayed in Stoke Mandeville until June, but was I equipped to leave? Barely.

So the reaction of my French instructor, having seen me skiing only 9 months post catastrophe, was understandable.
In France, year perhaps would have gone by before a patient was allowed to ski.
Which puts me ahead of the game, arguably ( although a million miles behind the one I was playing before ).

So what can I do now?
Get onto the loo… Sort of.
Get back off it…. Depends.
Get into a car… With help.
Out again.. Same.
Drive.. Yes
Alone?… Not tried.
Get my chair into the car and out… Badly.
Ski…. Yes, with falling over.
Get into the ski device… No, 3 people help.

Shower… With help.
Shave.. Yes
Sh@@… With my own help.

Go upstairs … No

Remember things… Worse than before.

Pee myself… Yes, without knowing it.

Be myself… No, not really.

Be optimistic about my future… Not sure.

Be helped by loyal and incredible people…. Yes.

Aime has just seen your video and he is uber impressed and can’t believe what you have achieved in 9 months- u are now the talk of Tignes as everyone at Evo 2 remembers u and they all pass on their congratulations at skiing so soon – lots to get excited about for the future 🙂 ⛄️⛄️xxx

Sunday.

I didn’t crash, and we watched Cambridge suffer a heavy defeat from the luxury of Dan’s boat.
I was reminded by Dani that we are both Cambridge supporters by virtue of having both been rejected by Oxford University in our Uni applications – a fact from so long ago that I can truthfully say that I’d totally forgotten about it.
The fact that I’d forgotten I applied there kind of justifies my not having been allowed in….

Thanks to Stu and Dan for carrying my increasing bulk across 40 odd feet of gang planks.
It’s as well I’m not of a nervous disposition, otherwise I’d have probably shat myself.

And floated in the path of the 2 crews plus 40 million worldwide television viewers.

The Boat Race today.

It finishes just down the road from my house, so we’re going to watch it.
I never have any allegiance, but it’s seriously hard thing to do, so I admire the crews and the amount of training it took to get them to today.

Before that my little (?!) brother, Stu, is gonna take me out in an adapted car for a drive.
It won’t have dual controls….so if in the middle of the Boat Race, a car drives into the river, with a bloke desperately trying to get out of the passenger door.. it’s probably me, out of control.

I’m forgetting what it felt like to do things with legs.. Running, walking, skiing.
Other things as well..
It’s only been 9 months.
I was doing some of them for 40 years plus. How can I forget?

I find it horrifying.

Perhaps it’s for the best, but at the moment I can’t see the good in it.