Monthly Archives: December 2013

The next few weeks…

Events

It’s 6 months today since I broke my back. 

Worst 6 months of my life? 
I think that’s a YES. 
The 6 months during which I’ve recieved the most love, kindness and dedication from my family and friends? 
An even bigger YES. 
I’m starting to turn a corner in my general mood, at least when I’m home. 
It doesn’t seem quite as bad now, there are genuinely happy periods when the ghost of my former life isn’t looking at me  as I round every corner, mocking me in my wheelchair. 
It’s nearly Xmas, and actually I think I’m going to enjoy it, as in for real. 
I’ve just wrapped, sitting in bed, about 15  stocking fillers for my girls. At last! I’ve done something useful for my family. It felt really good. My present wrapping skills haven’t got any worse. As Dani said, they started from a pretty low base…. Yes, thanks Dani. 🙂
On Tuesday I leave Stoke Mandeville for 13 days. We fly to New York on Wednesday, on the holiday booked a year ago, pre calamity. 
We spend 2 days in Manhattan, then go to Conneticut, to Alwyn’s, and from there to Okemo, a small ski resort in Vermont. 
Dani, the girls, and I will stay in a one level / no steps apartment  along with my Bro, Stuart and his wife, Mandy, plus Alwyn’s daughter, Chloe. 
Stu will be the resident muscle, and Mandy is a nurse. Along with Dani, ‘Team Russ’ will be an experienced unit. It’s a massive relief to me that Dani’s workload with me will be shared to a degree by the incredibly helpful Stu and Mandy. 
Alwyn will be just down the road, and has organised pretty much everything you can think of to make my stay easier. He’s going to drive me to the Adaptive Ski school on four afternoons to give disabled skiing a shot. 
Officially I’m 6 months early trying it, it’s way too soon after my crash. My balance is poor, and my head’s far from confident. However, I’m actually now starting to look forward to it ( 2 weeks ago I was shitting myself at the prospect ). What’s the worse that can happen? Well, I could re injure myself, spinally ( tho unlikely ) , I could hurt my arms and shoulders, and I could absolutely hate not being able to do it…… If that happens. 
I have to remember that it’ll be like learning to ski all over again, but without legs and trunk control. Obviously that’s NOT going to be easy..I’ll be strapped into a fibreglass Sit Ski and have to balance the bloody thing (as it speeds down a baby slope) at about 5 miles an hour…..feeling like 50 miles an hour. 
To those watching it’ll look simple, to me it’ll certainly not be.  
However it pans out, I’ve got to try to keep a smile on my face. I’ll have 2 instructors plus Alwyn ( who is also an ‘able bodied’  instructor ) to help me at this early stage. If it goes ok, they’ll take me off the 2 ski type device and try me on the (far harder to balance) monoski. We’ll see….
I’m sure there’ll be video of me eating snow on this http://melissaleach.blogspot.co.uk/?m=1 blog, coming up soon. 
My mum and Dad are there in Vermont too, and I know they’ll be so very helpful in whatever way they can be. 
In total there’ll be 15 of us, a good 5 of them strapping Welshmen. At last, a little respite for Dani’s overworked arms and shoulders ( tho to be fair, they’ve never looked better than they do now! )
On jan 2nd I come back to SM for another month or so 
After that I’m home. 
Can’t wait. 

I get some fantastic messages from some fabulous people. Here’s one of the many.

Events

Russ,

 

I just read your blog from yesterday. Mate you made me cry in the office. For what it’s worth I don’t think you do have to make a choice to be happy or sad. I think you’ll have good days and bad days. I guess it’s like when you lose someone you love. You never stop missing them, but you find a way of living without them. There is a song I really like. It’s called Simple Things by Paulo Nutini. If you haven’t listened to it, I think you’ll like it; now more than ever. Death decided not to take you that day on the side of a mountain and there is a reason why. So far you have educated those who have spent time with you since your accident to look a little more often into their souls. That’s a huge gift you have bestowed on us. I saw Amber at the carole concert. She had her normal bounce and was singing her head off next to Jazzy on the stage. I thought about how proud you would have been. I don’t think that would have been so happy if she wasn’t looking forward to giving her dad a hug on Christmas morning. Keep going mate, I know it must feel like climbing a hill every day, but the view you’ll have once you’ve reached the top will be a level of understanding that few ever achieve.

 

Take care,


GB Canoeing..

Events

.. Came to Stoke Mandeville last night with some kayak indoor ergo race machines. 

Stuart and the physios lifted me on to have a try. 
It took two people to stop me falling off whilst I had a go….. 
2 years ago I won the Over 35’s UK Championship on the same machine. 
Now I can’t even sit on the bloody thing. 
That’s a little hard to swallow really. 
But at least I had a go 🙂

A few responses to my earlier post.

Events
D’you know Russ…I’m actually quite reassured to see you being a bit blue today. Regardless of what Americans might like us to think, all this never ending positivity is not healthy. If you’re laughing everyone feels more comfortable right? It’s hard to be with someone you care about if they are crying. Our instinct is to fix things and right now…we can’t….better to offer a punchline and get you smiling than let you just ‘be’…..sometimes – absolutely – but not always. It’s ok to feel sorry for yourself.

You’re honest insight is making all of us better people. 

By the way – NEVER read a comments page. If I read the comments at the base of every article I write, I’d have given up writing and become a school caretaker, shuffling about in an overcoat and daring not to look up at anyone.It’s hard – but if you put yourself on that there big fat internet thing, this will ALWAYS happen. I bet even Mandela had more than his fair share of anonymous sniping twats too.

You are MAGNIFICENT.

I always love the Maya Angelou quote: “People don’t remember what you say. They remember how you made them feel.” Thinking of you makes us smile. It always did. It always will. That’s why you are so utterly wonderful.
xx
Ps…Im enormously flattered that I managed to get so many different words for vagina on your site.


And another:

hello my friend
 
I pick up all kinds of stuff from your blog from pubic grooming trends to the complexities of bowel hygiene and life as a paraplegic.
I laugh a lot, I often cry, I always admire your openness and honesty.
I have never felt that you are arrogant
 
I often wonder why people like ‘Babs M’ say stuff like that as it is hurtful and I suspect it will stay with you a while. I think it is because s/he is unhappy and aggrieved and has not been ‘heard’ or acknowledged (in the way that s/he sees that your blog is allowing you to be?). Anyway, s/he will think what s/he wants  – probably irrespective of what you say. Perhaps you could channel Mandela and respond with compassion : invite him/her to come and have a cuppa with you?
 
Whatever – please don’t change,
 
love and respect
xxxxxx 

Another:
 
Who is this Babs lady? What’s her issue? Don’t let her get to you xx

And

Darling you are anything but arrogant! Strong, courageous, inspiring, determined and FUN are a few words to spring to my mind! Ignorant- that’s Babs M who they bloody are, please don’t let someone who clearly has no clue about who you are upset you! I’d like to see how they cope in your situation. 
Rant over, how are you? I’m currently sitting in the uni library trying to motivate my self to write my proposal, I turned to your blog for inspiration! 
Big hug xxxx
Ps: tell Bab m if they have a problem come and talk to me #dontmesswithpregnanthormonalwomen