Monthly Archives: October 2013

24th of October 2013.

Events

Am feeling down today. 

Depressed/ low/ sad. 
Why today and not other days, I don’t know. 
There was a moment, an hour ago. I’d gone to the Guttman leisure centre ‘ home of the Paralympic Movement’ for a group Fitness Class. 
We did shuttles, sprints, chases, even the Bleep Test. 
In my past life I’d have been pretty good at that. Now, my small lungs and beginners chair make it tough to be even 60% as fast as some others are. But I was better than last time. 
There follows a ‘hill’ to be climbed back up to the hospital. 
Next to the entrance there are a few wheelie bins. I had to stop to catch my breath, holding up a few others. 
I moved aside to let them past, and stayed where I was for a few minutes. 
I reflected on what my life has become. 
In my chair, part human, part inanimate object. The wheelie bins took on a new significance. Filled with society’s rubbish, I felt no more important than them. 
Tears ran down my face, as they do now. 
Anybody who thinks I’m brave is wrong. 

A message.

Events

From Sian, who came to see me in Toulon. I’d not seen Sian for 20 years. What a wonderful thing to do? Plus, I actually remember her coming. Bonus!!


She wrote:


 ”I thought that and also with you two, emotionally.

You are incredible……. the two of you are The Incredibles, there’s a film there, but I believe it’s been done!

Really made me think about You in Toulon.  Your fight for life, Danielle’s amazing strength for herself and for you. I will never forget how you kept a twinkle in your eyes, even then.

Keep looking forward and get some sleep.

Love as always

Your pen pal

Sian X


ITV4.

Events

I just watched my friend, James Cracknell, on TV. The documentary of his achievements so far was intertwined with the story of  his brain injury sustained in an horrific bike crash in 2010. 

There was footage in the programme of the crash scene. 
His bike laying on its side. 
His bloodied and battered cycle helmet lying in the road. 
His blood stained cycling shirt, cut off his body by the helicopter paramedics. 
They cut to his wife, Bev, telling of the phone call, saying he’d been in a serious crash and that  she’d have to catch the next plane out of London 
The parallels of the situation, James and I , Bev and Dani, next door neighbours, hit me really hard, lying here tonight, irreparably damaged goods. 
Bev and Dani are left with the legacy of two husbands and fathers, almost killed, never the same again. 
It wasn’t until I saw Bev on the TV giving her account, 3 years on, with that unmistakeable look of horror still etched in her eyes, that I can imagine how my own wife felt hearing the news, by phone, on June 15th 2013. 
Dani, I’m so sorry for putting you through that. 

My God…

Events

The blog got 1,973 hits yesterday. 

That’s the most in a day. 
I don’t log in to the stats bit very often, but am always prepared to be surprised when I do. 
What it doesn’t tell me is whether it’s a 100 people logging in 19 times a day, or whether it actually represents 1,973 different people having a look. 
Not that it really matters to me.. 🙂
Today I learnt, or had my first lesson in, getting pants and socks on, all by myself, whilst in bed. 
Yep, you’ve really gotta start all over again. 
Yesterday I started ‘self catheterisation’. 
Success means NOT continually having a bag of wee strapped to your leg, into which your bladder drains…. Instead I now control when and where I ‘go’ by forevermore taking with me a couple of vac packed sterile catheters. 
Ah, the unseen glamour of my new existence is never ending. 
Physio was mainly stretching my contracted hamstrings and medial leg muscles so I can chuck them about a bit more, to get them into cars etc. Having 
realised the importance of flexibility, it’ll become part of my daily bedtime routine. 
Today my ‘oldest’ school friend came to see me. Mike Jenkins and I were inseparable aged 6, in Griffithstown Infants School. 
We’ve drifted apart here and there over the years, what with Uni, moving to different parts of the country, getting married etc, but have seen eachother regularly for about 10 years now. In school Mike had a terrible habit of pulling the girls that I fancied…. 
He was essentially far smoother than me ( Christ, who wasn’t?! ) and had long curly hair.
 My hair was cut by my mother until I was 15, and bless her, Vidal Sassoon she wasn’t. 
Although it probably saved my parents hundreds of pounds over the years, the Dawkins Boys hairstyles were a source of amusement for our schoolmates for a painfully long time. Alwyn was the first to go to an actual hairdressers, aged about 15 ( Alwyn, not the hairdresser ), and I followed suit about a year later. 
I’d go so far as to say it led to a change of fortunes with the girls…..
So any amateur home haircutting mums reading this take heed, it can seriously impede your offsprings’ chances of finding a partner. 
My partner at work, Helen, came today too. It’s been tricky for her, losing my input to our business for the last 4 months. 
The good news is that I fully intend resuming my career as soon as I can get showered, get dressed, have breakfast and get into a car (stowing my wheelchair in the back) down to a fine art… For a bloke that has just learnt to get his socks on, that seems like a country mile away… But I’m sure  the rate of progress will snowball… 
Watch this space. 
Russ

From a lovely lady I know..

Events

Morning Darling! What an amazing night Friday was! One I will never forget. The energy in that room was incredible and not a dry eye in the house. I feel so positive about your future now that you are on the road to becoming independent and knowing all the support you have, which has been apparent all along, so hopefully Friday night is the last time  you’re gonna make me blub Mr.!!! God only knows (him and half my mates) how many tears I’ve shed over you now! So i say ‘Enough already!’ I do feel fortunate that I have been able to see you regularly since France and watch your steady progress, having seen you almost at your worst. I realised on Friday night that not everyone has been so privileged to witness that. I know I’ve not been soppy with you yet, but I just want you to know how lucky I feel to be such a close friend to such an amazing guy! Now I’m crying again….so gonna sign off and hope I see u at the w/e. Half term next week, but will defo get to Stokey the following. Love you loads  xx

From my loyal friend, Jayne, who writes from Oz.

Events

it sounds like it was fantastic!
Have to say you looked bloody great – it was lovely to see that cheeky spark in the photos – OK some may say that was alcohol, but what the hey 🙂 
 
I am a pedant and I do need to pull you up on what some call a semantic technicality (I know you can handle words like these nowadays since you’ve become a philosopher) – BUT which is an important distinction, being – you are a person with disability, you’re not a disabled person… 
I think you’ll find this very important when you write your book and start your motivational coaching.
 
love ya xxx



( I stand corrected! 🙂 )