Monthly Archives: October 2013

Last night

Events

Last night I went to a party. Yes, a real party, in the real world. 

One of the great things ( of the very many great things ) about my wife, is her determination to carry on ‘business as usual’, and not to use my acquired injury as an excuse. 
At about 7pm last night, I felt pretty tired. It had seemed like a long day. 
It would have been pretty easy for her to use my  dwindling  enthusiasm as a good reason for missing Cliff’s birthday party. 
But no, not for a moment. We got a proper wheelchair taxi and headed to Sheen where we had a bloody good night with lots of our mates. 
Cliff is Pia’s husband, and he and Pia really went the full distance to make sure I’d be ok. Ground floor venue, chair ramps entrance, located close to where we live. 
We spent half the night on the veranda, and lots of friends came and sat outside with me ( for me really ). I’m very aware that people are making adjustments to their behaviours to include me, and I’m very appreciative that they do. 
Today I used the Arm Bike in the house for about an hour. To be honest I was really tired by the end. My physio explained that my back muscles are drastically weakened by the shock and trauma of the spine op. 
Looking at a phone video of myself on the bike I wonder in slight horror where my fine back muscles, honed over many years on the river etc, have gone. ..
Still, compared to the wastage of my legs, it’s nothing. 
The amazing Dan completed his crazy french 68 mile run in about 15 hours. Yes, he started in the dark and finished in the dark. He said the last 15 km got progressively worse, the last mile downhill, sliding on mud and shale, a real test of his resolve. 
Needless to say he finished and sounded pretty chipper on the phone after, this despite having severely chafed testicles. 
I’ve known Dan long enough to know that he won’t mind me sharing the exact anatomical complications of ultra running.
More Vaseline next time we think. 
I had a massage today at The Park Club from the lovely, kind Cherie Duir-Howe , skilled therapist that she is. She carefully manipulated my affected areas, applying her years of experience to my particular issues. 
I would totally recommend her services to anybody reading this, she’s known as a miracle worker round these parts. 
(Sadly, I still left her room in the wheelchair).
Right, bedtime. 
Sweet dreams out there in BlogLand. 

How to make a guy feel better. Part 1.

Events

My God, I’ve had some positivity flow my way since my admittedly depressing post. 

Thank you all for the phone calls ( Monique, Dani and Rob ) and the supportive texts and emails… John Barden , Alwyn,  Roy and Caroline, Pia, Pat Huggins, Sian.. to name but a few. 
Scott and Ina came tonight from my work place.
 I am their boss. 
When your ‘staff’ travel hours to see you,  it tells you something.. That you must be ok as a boss?
Alice and Irinder came with them. They are former employees and now friends . 
As an employer, I’ve always tried to break down the barrier between ‘ boss ‘ and ‘staff ‘. For years I’ve felt that you really don’t need to be an authoritarian to have authority. 
You can engender respect through being an example. That doesn’t mean through being there for 12 hours a day, but by being decent, approachable, respectful, and in my own case through being a laugh ( I hope ). 
The formula seems to have worked anyway. 
You’d have to ask the ladies and gentlemen that work for me to confirm I’m not talking thro’ my arse, but I’m pretty sure I speak the truth. 
Tonight I missed our annual family Haloween trip to Tulleys Farm in Sussex. 
You’re supposed to be at least 14 to go, as the ‘rides’ are scary (but my girls are dead brave). 
I was really upset to miss it. 
Next year I’ll have an off road chair so I’ll be there again girls, ok, I promise you. 
Xx
At 4 am tomorrow morning the indomitable Dan White begins his next ultra run, for my charity. 
It’s a mere 68 miles of French mountain with 4800m of climbing. 
That’s like running from London, to Brighton and the running up Mont Blanc ( europe’s highest peak ), twice. 
Is the site address. 
Is there no stopping this man?
Good luck buddy.
A lot of people are with you in spirit. 
Russ xx

From Sian.

Events
I’ve heard this distinction between feeling forsomeone and feeling with them described like this: One day, Sympathy and Empathy come across someone in a deep hole. Sympathy says ‘You poor thing, it looks really dark down there. Would you like a sandwich?’ Empathy, on the other hand, climbs down into the hole and says ‘I see you. It’s horrible down here, isn’t it?’

Your family and friends are in that hole with you, they care, and they’re not leaving. 

Hope that today is a little brighter


xx


Thank you, Sian. X

I forgot….

Events

I forgot to thank Jade Rodham of the Hogarth, in an earlier post. 

Jade is married to Terry, and is an absolute treasure. As a trainee physio, she understands more than most my new difficulties. 
Jade was there for me, helping me onto the hand bike, keeping me from overheating on it and continually encouraging me. 
I’ve known Jade for at least ten years. 
The world is a better place for having her in it. 
Thank you Jade. 
Russ 
Xx