Monthly Archives: August 2013

From my wife, Dani.

Events

18 years of marriage, 28 years together in all. And yet, we’re still so young. Yeah, right… 

 Whilst 18 years seems like a long old time, the amount of stuff we have fitted in during our marriage makes me feel like we must have been married for about a hundred years. Neither of us have ever been ones to let anything stand in the way of having a good time…..
 Thinking back to our wedding on Saturday 26th August 1995 makes me think, first of all, to our stag and hen parties. Both took place a fortnight prior to the wedding and whilst they were both separate events, they did converge at about 5am at our then home in Chiswick. Yet more partying ensued, resulting in a Noise Abatement Notice from the Local Council, still proudly displayed in our downstairs loo :-).
 Key memories of our actual wedding (in no particular order): 
 1. Russ causing some considerable mirth during the actual ceremony when he knelt at the alter and exposed “L” and “R” markings on the soles of his shoes;
 2. Beautiful sunshine and amazing and sumptuous surroundings in the form of The Orangery in Holland Park where we held our reception;
 3. Huge drunken merriment including some naked dancing (captured by the official photographer – probably not his standard wedding photographic shots, to be honest) care of Mac and Delmie;
 4. Hilarity for all guests when they were seated for the wedding dinner and each found a small envelope on their place setting inside of which Russ had kindly placed the most embarrassing photo he could find of other guests on each table (again, nakedness seemed to feature quite frequently). It definitely “broke the ice”…
 5. Brilliant wedding speeches, especially Russ’s 🙂 
 6. Nick Teasdale, never losing an opportunity to upgrade himself, gate crashing the top table part-way thru the proceedings; 
 7.Eventually leaving the wedding reception (about 1&1/2 hours later than we were meant to cos we were just having too much of a good time…..) to a 80-person moony “salute”, carefully choreographed into 2 lines in between which we were encouraged to walk and slap bums as we made our way to the waiting Roller (what was it with all this nudity??? The flushes of youth I guess…..:-s)
 8. My dad kindly getting the disposable cameras which had been placed on each table processed while we were on our honeymoon – and being “appalled” that they weren’t the nIce, clean, conventional “above-table” shots that he thought he was going to be picking up. I guess that many of the guests thought they’d get their revenge on Russ for the embarrassing photos he had so kindly left of them on each respective place setting…Fair cop, I say! Anyway, not many of those photos made it into our wedding album…
 Happy, happy memories – and one’s shared with so many fantastic friends (as well, of course, with our lovely families). We’re still close to all the friends who were at our wedding – and have picked up a good few close friends since then. All have been just sooooooo amazing in their support for Russ and I during the last 10 weeks and I just can’t thank them enough for that (you know who you all are). 
I’ve cried more in response to this kindness than I have about anything else; it has been so touching and so appreciated. Nothing like the milk of human kindness to get you through a testing situation…..
 So, as Russ mentioned recently, this anniversary is extra, extra special as it could so easily not have been celebrated at all. And it will be all the more special as I know that my brave, handsome, gorgeous husband will soon be back on top physical form, ready to party through the next 50 years or so of our marriage :-). Just have to get his wine palate back in proper working order first….. 
 Xxxx

Events

Whilst in the chair today with the physio’s it really came home to me how weak my back is now. Ten weeks lying on your back of course means zero exercise for the back. So when I am sitting now I simply can’t sit up straight as my abdominals are quite strong, therefore I’m pulled forward. So… My main objective now is to regain back strength. Eg As I lie on my side I’m pulling my shoulder blades together as best I can. Given before I’d probably get at least an hour a day working hard on my back muscles in my boat or paddle machine it’s hard to even take in how much power I’ve lost. 

 Bank holidays in London are when everybody goes away so I’ve had a quiet weekend but its meant that I’ve finally started a book, The Iron Duke, the story of Welsh rugby legend Bobby Windsor. It’s a hell of a read, showing how violent life in the front row was in those days, pre video/TV/ proper lines men. Also they didn’t get paid, so Billy played for the British Lions yet still had two jobs to support his family. 
 Cardiff beat Man City today so a good day for Wales! 
 Dani is home tonight so I’ll spend a lovely wedding anniversary tomorrow with her. Have really missed her reassuring company, she makes everything seem better. Guess ill try champagne again. Hoping for a better experience than last time.. 
 Today I read the initial entries in this blog. Of course now it’s mainly me but for the first 6 weeks it was my mum in law, Jenni, Dani, Melissa and my parents. It’s an eye opener for me to get a taste of the rollercoaster optimism then realism cycle, no doubt interspersed with desperate anxiety as my body struggled to stay alive. It did, it got through it, but I bet without being almost constantly surrounded by my loved ones, my survival prospects would have been diminished. 
 I especially want to thank my 9 yr old daughter , Amber, for sitting with my semi conscious self and stroking my face and hair for hours. I don’t have the words to express my love for her. I speak to Amber and my darling Lily on FaceTime every day and tho its not the same as them being here, I at least hear them and see their angelic smiles. 
 I’m a lucky man for sure.

A message to get me going ;)

Events

Hey Russ, looks like you cracking on well there old chap, bumped into your blog this morning and have been reading through the posts, what can I say that you haven’t heard before..keep strong there pal, another challenge you have on your hands but you know very well how to deal with those. I guess you should start thinking of the Rio Olympics … I reckon a couple of Olympic golds hanging on the wall at home would suite you. Remember, you have already lined up in a final with no less that 4 Olympians next to you at the indoor champs….and I know a good coach in Trevor Wetherall based in Richmond:) I think I have a few pictures from that day, will tag them up in a bit. Been thinking of you often over the last weeks, that muscle strength and size will come back bigger than before I reckon, especially once you start hitting the gym again, that stuff comes naturally for professional athletes like up – LOL… Doing a fair bit of surf ski which is great, weather is hot in summer but doable, winter is great, 24 degrees , much like the British summer, just great. So if you mak a fly by through Dubai be sure to let me know, will take you out on the double ski.. Listen pal, keep strong and love those girls of yours, they all look so special, you have a lovely family… Keep up the great blog and I know that the wine pallet will come back! Cheers Kenlea

Update on me…

Events

Its a rainy day in London. Hope all you Reading Festival types aren’t soaked.

 My throat just has a plaster on it now, so Think my voice is the same as before. I get switched to a different room in the hospital on Tuesday, and can wear my own boxers and shirt from here on, as there are no wires sticking into me.
 The thing that makes me stand up  in the photo is called a Tilt Table and stimulates my body to the natural effects of gravity, as its deprived of it when I’m lying down. So it’s supposed to help my legs and internal organs get into their correct place. 
  I’m sleeping loads better, have a sit down shower on the commode as part of a ‘routine’ daily now too. I can wash everything except my back, feet and bum. The occupational therapist gets the bonus by having the pleasure of doing the latter.
 I can talk on the phone pretty well, have much better use of my arms than I did too. 2 weeks ago I could barely hold my iPhone, def not a book, was very likely to drop a drink whilst placing it back on my trolley too. In the crash I severely damaged my right side, breaking all my ribs, so drastically lost all power on my right side. The left was a lot better but , after weeks in a coma etc, far weaker than before the crash. The arms are now both stronger, and the right is catching up with the left, I’m relieved to say. I’m still bloody thin compared to my former self but give me a few months and something resembling my old self, at least from the waist up, should re emerge.
 Dani’s had people in to look at modifying our house majorly to help me slot easily back in, which will help me loads. I know my brother, Stuart, and my mate Andrew are both checking out the car situation too which looks fairly straightforward..? 
Once at Stoke Mandeville rehab is the focus, both trying to get my legs to fire up a bit but also accepting and learning about life in a wheelchair. I’ll be released from there from time to time to get me used to home life, and obv I can’t wait for that! I do miss my house and normal surroundings.
 I’m pretty sure I’ll be out in the chair along the river later, breathing some non hospital aircon air, instead savouring london’s multiple odours. Last time out I smelt petrol, chips and cannabis. London!
 So on the whole things are pretty good and definitely going in the right direction. The doctors have offered my counselling and psychological therapy. I declined, as I’m not a pussy. If I think negative thoughts I quickly think about something better. That’s not ‘bottling it up’ its just a common sense strategy, right? Anyway it’s worked so far! 
 Amazed by how many people are reading this blog, a lot of whom I barely know, or don’t know at all. I’d like to thank every one of you for taking an interest. What happened to me could happen to any of you, so I suppose it’s an insight into my new world. Lets hope you all just read about it and don’t ever find yourself in my situation.
 Love, Russ