So last night then.. when I went to a Pint of Science talk with Marky P, my girlfriend Wendy ( having opened 2 doors for me to get out ) found herself locked out of my flat. She had had the foresight to carry the keys, but not the foresight to wear her knickers ( and had on only a sweatshirt that was down just below her bum cheeks ).

So there she was, somewhat reluctant to reach up high to try to release the jammed door catch ( on account of avoiding a ‘ show ‘ that might attract every male within a mile ).

Eventually a tall fella turned up and tried ( telling her that ‘ next time you ought to wear some shoes ‘ – ha, if only he knew! ) to release the catch. That didn’t work so Wendy considered climbing over railings of 3 adjacent gardens ( weh hey another show ! ) but eventually someone let her in a side door…

That excitement aside, Marky P and I came second in the Pint of Science quiz ( knowledge of Thames Bridges tipping the balance our way I think – at last my kayaking history has been useful for something ).

The talk was about plastic pollution in the Thames, and the contamination of water by humans with antibiotics. In some countries the concentration of antibiotics in rivers is HIGHER THAN THE DOSE YOU NEED IN YOUR BLOODSTREAM TO CURE YOUR INFECTION!

Jesus, what a mess we are making of the World 🌎