I’ve been in hospital now for almost 3 days. 

As yet no one has come to tidy up, clean or disinfect in any way at all. Is it any wonder MRSA is almost standard in ‘modern’ wards?

There are 4/5 men in here. I’m not sure how many  as they keep pulling the curtains around the beds so that I can’t see anything.

On my right there is someone with a strong Scottish accent, who tells anyone who passes by that he’s a recording artist, and plays tennis.

As he’s Scottish and he’s not Rod Stewart, Sheena Easton or Andy Murray, I’m pretty sure he’s not famous.

Whenever ‘food’ is offered he asks ‘ to see the menu’ as though he were at the Ritz

Then invariably he chooses whatever there is with strawberry jam in it .

Opposite I think is a lorry driver in his 60’s , who is prone to talking about medical things with his daughter. They’re obviously experts on anatomy. Yesterday they were discussing/ wondering what a tricep was.

He just said that he’s worse off now than when he came in, and blames all the medical personnel that have seen him. He does seem to know all the medications that he takes, and there are a lot of them. I get the impression that he’s quite proud of taking so many drugs for so many things .           A few minutes ago he said that he’d end up with RSA . He either missed out the M or he belongs to the Royal Society of Arts  – who am I to say?

A regular is ‘ if I had my bike outside, I’d be off ‘ I don’t think so though  Someone  said they’d be showing the rugby in the room next door, and 3 times I’ve heard him say ‘ if I was at home, I’d watch it ‘. As he’s perfectly mobile and cant be arsed to go 20 feet to the next room, I can’t see him escaping from here on a motorbike any time soon.

Another young fella has something gastric wrong with him and sounds Latino. He is going to have surgery today, so I imagine it’s not nice.

What they all have in common is that they all sound semi cheerful in the day, yet as soon as the lights go out there is a chorus of painful groaning,  invariably involving buzzers being pressed and lights being turned on.

I think that sleep is an important part of the healing process for most things?

No chance in here – I’ll never leave at this  rate.