After a long day yesterday, I ended up still wide awake at 3.30 am, before sudden sleep forced its way upon me.

That seems to be the way that it is now- I’m wide awake and then suddenly  my eyes are shutting and I fall asleep mid email.

I woke at 5am,  my phone in my hand still, my legs spasming for, as usual, a reason that I didn’t know about, but requiring me to press the button that calls the nurse. I asked her to move my legs for me, and to put a blanket over me.

I was completely awake once more until perhaps 6.30 am, and then tried breathing ‘ exercises ‘ that a friend had recommended to me, where you do nothing other than think about your breathing.  I think that within half a dozen breaths I was asleep, to wake at 11.45 am, at which point a lovely Irish lady from a care agency arrived to discuss my ‘ care in the community ‘ going forward.

There is so much confusion as to whether the NHS district nurses will or won’t be available to contribute to my needs. It seems almost scandalous that they can refuse to help someone in need, like myself, but it’s what I was being told.

I phoned my GP practice of 20 years to speak to my doctor, to be told by his secretary that I had actually been referred to the district nurse service, and that this was in hand, completely contrary to what I’d just been told by the physiotherapist / OT,  here in the hospital.

As I’m leaving here in 3 days and am still in the dark about how the hell I’m going to manage, it’s all becoming lastminutenursing.com, with me in danger of being bed bound and Incontinent… with no help.

Watch this space to see how this bedpan’s out.

Great to see Pistol Pete, one of the Toulon Twelve, plus Foghorn Frankum too. Two very interesting chats, but for very different reasons, and with very different views on my immediate future.

The reality is that I cannot give up now, after coming this far, and will have to both fight for what I need, along with sucking up the bad bits, as usual.

If anybody wants to visit me, and has a hammer and a set of metric Allen Keys,  and a modicum of spanner know-how, please come asap. My wheelchair brakes need adjusting, I know exactly how to do it, but I can’t  reach myself. It’s currently unsafe, but the hospital staff are reluctant to get too involved in case I sue them for doing something that ends up with me having a wheelchair crash…. such is the reality of modern health and safety.

‘Dear, oh dear’ , as my Granny used to say ‘ what’s the world coming to?’

Quite.

PS No nightmare for 2 nights in a row.

PPS Happy bday to my nephew, Ben

. Money sent with instruction, ‘ not to be spent on porn ‘

No idea if he’ll listen to my advice.