Dear God.

I found a pull up bar on the sea front, here. Well I obviously can’t just wheel on. I have to stay there for 15 minutes and do what I can.
As I have previously written tho, when I do pull ups, my Crown Jewels fall between my legs and when I come down to sitting again, I’m sat on them properly, crushing them. If I could feel it, im sure it would be very uncomfortable, but I can’t.

So I have to ‘ retrieve’ them by putting my hand down my trousers front and easing them out again from under myself.
They are well and truly wedged under me, and I’m really trying to release them ( and don’t forget I can’t consciously open my legs, or wriggle at all, so it’s really not easy ) and this 5/6 year old boy walks up and starts chatting away in Portuguese, whilst my hand is firmly down my trouser front. I give him a look which sort of says ‘ go away’ but he takes no notice.

Then his mum appears too.


I’m waiting for the police to arrive…

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