My journey alone to Portugal is, as usual, unpleasant, being alone and entirely dependent on strangers to help is such a mind f***. I guess all of us on the plane are alone if this thing goes down, so I’m not any worse off than the rest, assuming that the plane doesn’t crash land and everybody is alive, then everyone jumps out except me, whereupon the plane catches fire and I alone die a slow death.

But I don’t imagine that’s what’s going to be my fate tonight.

As I checked in with special Assistance thé girl assignéd to me said ‘ are you from the Olympics or something ?’
I replied ‘ no, are you ?’
She said, completely calmly ‘ well I used to do some athletics at school ‘.
I reasoned that that probably wasn’t that long ago, as at the most she was 19. She didn’t look all that athletic, to be fair, but what do I know ?
That was the end of the conversation, as I seemed to have bored her very quickly.

Maybe she asks every bloke in a wheelchair the same question ? Dammit, I should have made something up, like ‘ yes, I got Gold in the wheelchair springboard diving in Moscow’

To be honest, I reckon she’d probably have swallowed that one.

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