All posts by Russ

How to make a guy feel better. Part 1.

Events

My God, I’ve had some positivity flow my way since my admittedly depressing post. 

Thank you all for the phone calls ( Monique, Dani and Rob ) and the supportive texts and emails… John Barden , Alwyn,  Roy and Caroline, Pia, Pat Huggins, Sian.. to name but a few. 
Scott and Ina came tonight from my work place.
 I am their boss. 
When your ‘staff’ travel hours to see you,  it tells you something.. That you must be ok as a boss?
Alice and Irinder came with them. They are former employees and now friends . 
As an employer, I’ve always tried to break down the barrier between ‘ boss ‘ and ‘staff ‘. For years I’ve felt that you really don’t need to be an authoritarian to have authority. 
You can engender respect through being an example. That doesn’t mean through being there for 12 hours a day, but by being decent, approachable, respectful, and in my own case through being a laugh ( I hope ). 
The formula seems to have worked anyway. 
You’d have to ask the ladies and gentlemen that work for me to confirm I’m not talking thro’ my arse, but I’m pretty sure I speak the truth. 
Tonight I missed our annual family Haloween trip to Tulleys Farm in Sussex. 
You’re supposed to be at least 14 to go, as the ‘rides’ are scary (but my girls are dead brave). 
I was really upset to miss it. 
Next year I’ll have an off road chair so I’ll be there again girls, ok, I promise you. 
Xx
At 4 am tomorrow morning the indomitable Dan White begins his next ultra run, for my charity. 
It’s a mere 68 miles of French mountain with 4800m of climbing. 
That’s like running from London, to Brighton and the running up Mont Blanc ( europe’s highest peak ), twice. 
Is the site address. 
Is there no stopping this man?
Good luck buddy.
A lot of people are with you in spirit. 
Russ xx

From Sian.

Events
I’ve heard this distinction between feeling forsomeone and feeling with them described like this: One day, Sympathy and Empathy come across someone in a deep hole. Sympathy says ‘You poor thing, it looks really dark down there. Would you like a sandwich?’ Empathy, on the other hand, climbs down into the hole and says ‘I see you. It’s horrible down here, isn’t it?’

Your family and friends are in that hole with you, they care, and they’re not leaving. 

Hope that today is a little brighter


xx


Thank you, Sian. X

I forgot….

Events

I forgot to thank Jade Rodham of the Hogarth, in an earlier post. 

Jade is married to Terry, and is an absolute treasure. As a trainee physio, she understands more than most my new difficulties. 
Jade was there for me, helping me onto the hand bike, keeping me from overheating on it and continually encouraging me. 
I’ve known Jade for at least ten years. 
The world is a better place for having her in it. 
Thank you Jade. 
Russ 
Xx

24th of October 2013.

Events

Am feeling down today. 

Depressed/ low/ sad. 
Why today and not other days, I don’t know. 
There was a moment, an hour ago. I’d gone to the Guttman leisure centre ‘ home of the Paralympic Movement’ for a group Fitness Class. 
We did shuttles, sprints, chases, even the Bleep Test. 
In my past life I’d have been pretty good at that. Now, my small lungs and beginners chair make it tough to be even 60% as fast as some others are. But I was better than last time. 
There follows a ‘hill’ to be climbed back up to the hospital. 
Next to the entrance there are a few wheelie bins. I had to stop to catch my breath, holding up a few others. 
I moved aside to let them past, and stayed where I was for a few minutes. 
I reflected on what my life has become. 
In my chair, part human, part inanimate object. The wheelie bins took on a new significance. Filled with society’s rubbish, I felt no more important than them. 
Tears ran down my face, as they do now. 
Anybody who thinks I’m brave is wrong. 

A message.

Events

From Sian, who came to see me in Toulon. I’d not seen Sian for 20 years. What a wonderful thing to do? Plus, I actually remember her coming. Bonus!!


She wrote:


 ”I thought that and also with you two, emotionally.

You are incredible……. the two of you are The Incredibles, there’s a film there, but I believe it’s been done!

Really made me think about You in Toulon.  Your fight for life, Danielle’s amazing strength for herself and for you. I will never forget how you kept a twinkle in your eyes, even then.

Keep looking forward and get some sleep.

Love as always

Your pen pal

Sian X


ITV4.

Events

I just watched my friend, James Cracknell, on TV. The documentary of his achievements so far was intertwined with the story of  his brain injury sustained in an horrific bike crash in 2010. 

There was footage in the programme of the crash scene. 
His bike laying on its side. 
His bloodied and battered cycle helmet lying in the road. 
His blood stained cycling shirt, cut off his body by the helicopter paramedics. 
They cut to his wife, Bev, telling of the phone call, saying he’d been in a serious crash and that  she’d have to catch the next plane out of London 
The parallels of the situation, James and I , Bev and Dani, next door neighbours, hit me really hard, lying here tonight, irreparably damaged goods. 
Bev and Dani are left with the legacy of two husbands and fathers, almost killed, never the same again. 
It wasn’t until I saw Bev on the TV giving her account, 3 years on, with that unmistakeable look of horror still etched in her eyes, that I can imagine how my own wife felt hearing the news, by phone, on June 15th 2013. 
Dani, I’m so sorry for putting you through that.