Today I really missed being able to pick my children up, as well as chase them round the house.

Things are suddenly ‘missing’ in a very potent way sometimes.

Thank you to everyone that’s helped me, my family, my charity, my workplace arrangements, my sanity.. over these last 18 months.

I couldn’t have got this far without your help and kindness and compassion.

I could type the names of probably hundreds of generous people who’ve devoted time and energy to push me forwards and upwards, but inevitably I’d miss someone out, and then feel terrible that I had.

You’ll know who you are if you read these words- if you think you’ve done anything at all to assist my cause, then for sure you have, and I’m grateful to you.

I never thought that I’d ever be anywhere close to being happy again, yet I am. Not as content as I was pre injury, but so much closer than I imagined I’d ever get.

Last Xmas was a strange one inside my head – there just as an observer it seemed of everyone else having fun – but this time around it’s not like that.
For better or for worse, I’m so much more like the guy I used to be, on June 12th 2013, the day before my world stopped.

It’s started again now, and I’m not sad and afraid anymore.

I hope all my family and friends ( anyone reading this is included in that group) have a good Christmas, and appreciate all the good things in their lives, as I do more than ever before.

Xx

I now am the proud owner of a Stand Up Wheelchair.
I transfer onto it, strap myself in (across knees and chest), hit the switch and hey presto, I’m 6foot 1.
Which is considerably better than 3foot 6.

Last night I went to the pub in it, and was aware of the reaction from ‘on lookers’ to my slow elevation… Pretty positive I’d say.

I’d forgotten what it was like to stand around and have a beer.

Fellas, there’s one experience you definitely shouldn’t take for granted.

Downside?
The bloody thing weighs a ton.

So thanks to Dan and Adam for pushing me there and back, and to the nice bloke that helped lift my wheels up the large step into the George 1V pub on Chiswick High Road.

And thanks to Wendy for inviting me to her birthday party last night.

It’s 3.30 am and my legs are doing their twitching thing, keeping me awake.

Gone are the days of going out and then sleeping very heavily… There always seems to be a payback for having a good time now.

But it was lovely to see most of Dani’s side of the family, so close to Xmas – they’re a lovely lot.

I did get to see a few of mine at the Strictly night on Saturday too – an equally lovely lot, for the record!

…was where I was on Thursday, at the Varsity match, no less.

Oxford beat Cambridge by a record score, 44-7 I think.
I was interested, as a friend, Ed Doe, was playing on the wing for Oxford. So as well as being my cycle outrider in the summer, turns out Ed can play rugby as well.

Thanks to Ed’s girlfriend, Issy, and her folks, Janet and Jay, plus Jacqui and Tom, for inviting me and looking after me.

And trust me, I need looking after.

Nice picture of Ed and Issy enclosed.

I’d pretty much forgotten that I applied for Oxford, at 17 years of age, to study Biochemistry.
Obviously I wasn’t clever enough to get in, but I wonder where my life would have gone if I had.

It would have been totally different of course, and I’d never have been near Toulon in June 2013, and now not paraplegic either.

Sliding doors…

Sometimes I just lie awake at night, my twitching legs preventing me sleeping ( as now ) and just think.. Can I tolerate 30 plus more years of this?
It’s a long time -from 18 til now, for me.
Another life, but spent paralysed.

I think of my children to distract me from darker thoughts, but the technique doesn’t always work, leaving me just lying here, more than a little bit down.

Sometimes I have online chats with friends living on the other side of the world, where it’s daytime.
Thanks particularly to Arti, for so often being there.

Dearest Russ,

Oh what a night..

The support was incredible. My fellow dancers were incredible. Dani getting all her fellow dancers drunk backstage was incredible. And then there’s the reason we were all there. Mr Incredible himself. You.

I said at the start, that doing this for your charity was apt as the last time I saw you before your accident was at the jubilant Justers’ wedding and we were indulging in topless dancing (along with Adam, but he doesn’t count as he is always topless and often bottomless). If only *that* girl that demanded only I put my shirt back on was there on Saturday night… She probably would have voted for one of the others as well..

Still, I feel I can say on behalf of all the other participants that it was an awesome event to be a part of. It’s inspiring to see the charity growing further and helping more and more people under such difficult circumstances.

It feels a bit weird and guilty at times that we can all have such a good time, ultimately as a result of your atrocious luck. But if ever your fun loving spirit was encapsulated and celebrated then Saturday night was just that. And if I have to keep dancing with hot women for you Russ, then I’m always here to help.

Keep inspiring us brother.

Onto the next one,

Voj x

…was just incredible.

The room, the floor, the dancers, the music, the judges, the compère. The supporters were practically crazed by the end… Everyone there cheering on their favourite ( but also all the other dancers ).

Obviously it was a competition, but I don’t think anyone minded who ‘won’.
It sounds a bit corny, but yes, they were all winners, as was the charity.

I’ve got so many people to thank.

The Park Club, the staff there, the dancers, the make up artists, Joe the hairdresser, the spray tanning lady ( spraying Sam Devito’s bare arse included ), Cherie for the massages, the fantastic judges ( Nicky Chapman,Joey McNeeley, Conor Maynard,Sophie Ellis-Bextor, ), the truly awesome Saskia Devito-White,Ronnie Ancona for compère’ing so brilliantly,all the guys who carried me up and down stairs, the fantastic supporters who all bought tickets, the sponsors, the caterers, the audio visual people, the lighting crew, Dan White for making it all possible in the first place, and my wife for juggling so many balls in the air these last few months, without dropping any.

The money raised ( unknown at this point ) will all be spent wisely, and will make a difference.

As for me, I’ve got my staff party tonight. To be honest, I could do with a night in, but that just wouldn’t be me..