Like everyone, I got a fair few ‘Happy New Years’ by text and in person.

I have to say though, that it feels like the unhappiest end of one, and start of another, that I can remember.

Since 2013 life hasn’t been a bed of roses, but in the last 4 months, I’d turned it around a lot.

Its been a while since I found my eyes just filling with tears, that then won’t bloody stop.

I’ve lots of life changing events heading my way in 2017, that don’t have happy associations.

I’ve learnt not to be optimistic, as I’ve written before.  I’d be a fool to have high expectations, so I’ll suppress any notions of hope to a sensible degree ( as in almost negligible ).

Best way definitely.

Happy New Year to everyone else though!

Watching Harry Potter by myself is definitely the last time that I’m ever going to not plan a NYE !

Thank God I spent time with Pia and Jeremy earlier to dilute the embarrassment.

A painful abdomen and spasms didn’t help either, but a night without alcohol is a good thing….. he said through gritted teeth.

At 12 I thought about my girls, Q and Nev.

I’m hoping that 2017 is better than 2016.

X

So only 3 hours sleep last night.

Never mind – except I may not make 12 tonight?!

What have things come to, ffs…

Anyway, big thanks to Fabi, for making me buy a Virtual Reality headset- you get the App, stick your phone in it, and Hey Presto you’re on a rollercoaster/ summit ing Everest/ swimming wiv da fishes etc etc.

I cant find the ‘ Boys Weekend in Prague’ one yet, but please send if you have it?

The bloody spasms are keeping me awake.

It’s 2.30 and it’s a bit relentless.

I’m getting hot but I don’t have the movement to get off the T shirt that I don’t normally wear, and the struggle makes me hotter.

I elevate the bed to let me see my feet , one of which is stuck between 2 bed bars, spasming.

i can’t reach it to free it, so I struggle to reach a knee and move that , which frees the foot.

Released, the foot is now doing its thing at the bottom of the bed, not  looking too injured after it’s spell in confinement

Bugger me, my kayak mate Randall, who I wrote about in this diary only last week, had a bloody heart attack really not long after seeing me.

i think he ate  both of our desserts that night, but that wouldn’t be unusual, and I’m sure can’t have been the reason for his arrest.

Anyway, I’m bloody relieved that he is now definitely on the mend, and I’m sorry that I didn’t know, and I’m sorry that I didn’t visit you in hospital too, my friend .

Also lovely to spend time with Nicola recently and the now normal legged Neal Watson, yesterday, who now doesn’t have to give me a push, as I have my own wheel!

My Christmas present to myself was something I never thought I’d do, pre injury.

Painful, but  definitely eye catching!

Mark, you’ll like this.

What’s nippy, economical, and drives around Paris ?

Wait for it….

The hatchback of Notre Dame..

C’mon, that is funny!

Ever since my injury I’ve had the strangest ( consistent ) memory lapse  –  I’m never quite sure what year it is?

I often think it’s 2017 already, and have done for a while. Maybe that’s my desperation to catch up on lost time?

I bought a book called Embarrassing Dad Jokes ( something like that  ) today.

Kids aren’t supposed to laugh at their Dad’s jokes, is the idea.

Mine did though, at these ones.

Their favourite was  –

What goes Peck Peck Peck Peck Peck Boom ?

A chicken in a minefield.

Perhaps that says says a lot about my kids?!

It’s 3 am and I’m in pain.

My neck and head are hurting a lot, after spending 25 minutes with my head at 90 degrees to my body, wedged against the ceiling of a ‘ wheelchair cab’.

Uber WAV’s were not available, so I had to use another cab company.

I’d been dissuaded from using my new powered wheel to go the 5 miles to dinner, on the basis that it would be dangerous to come back the same way late at night.

Instead I feel like I’ve fractured the only bits of my spine that weren’t already totally f’d up. Speed bumps were particularly unpleasant.

Next time ( if there is a next time ) I’ll go with my instinct.

Thanks to Chris and Sarah, and their cool boys, T and F.

My stomach once again seriously bloody bloating up like it was connected to the gas mains, I tried a Trike to relieve it, as the vigour has before.

It didn’t work, and as I was wheeling along feeling pissed off, I was thinking about the seemingly non stop run of bad luck, and then the extra complications I seem to be getting.

My original crash, my near drowning, a very dodgy ski crash,  my near suicide, my operations this summer… my imminent divorce and the obvious side effect of being deprived of such regular contact with my daughters… and a young man walked past me, very close to me, and whispered softly three words.

‘ Don’t give up ‘

I’m not a religious man, but it was a very potent moment.