Thank you to Danielle for her help this morning.

Xx

I pretty much do everything that I can do to prevent mishaps, but they still happen, and always at the worst possible time,  either location wise, or situation wise.

Tonight it was another ( minor ) accident,  with no  willing help in  the locality.

As I’m getting slightly used to this crap, no pun intended, I am moderately adept at self resolution, unless it’s truly underweararmageddon.  Then, I’m really in the shit.

As I can ALWAYS say that ‘ worse things really have happened to me’ I can actually always get over this stuff fairly quickly. My mind doesn’t tolerate negative thoughts for long, and I think of good stuff that’s happened today.  To that end I’ve weened myself, over a month or so,  down to half dosage of my already low dose antidepressants… which I’m quite proud of,  really. They tell you not to just stop taking them, as you might just end up a sobbing mess, so I’ve gone with the biting the pill in half and chucking the other half routine.  I’ve noticed no difference to my buoyancy, so I’ll be off them in another month altogether.

I escorted my carer,  Karen, along the river today for quite a way,  surprised by a wet area in Hammersmith that I didn’t expect to be there . It was a fun experience nonetheless, my Triride making ‘ access most areas ‘ possible

Yesterday, I was slowed down for some time by what seemed like a whole school of kids coming the other way . When I ‘ joked’ to a teacher .. blimey, has the school caught fire?’ .. she replied ‘ yes, and we’ve all been evacuated ‘ .

Perceptive of me, though slightly embarrassing ( but only momentarily…. before I saw the funny side ! )

Always look on the Bright Side of Life, right?

Cheers for the coffee today, Mr Richards,  and thanks to Jo for getting me a ticket to see Stephen Hawking speak.  You don’t actually see him speak, as the genius of his generation can’t actually move his mouth, or anything else it would seem.  Extraordinarily, he’s outlived all  predictions and is now 75!

He was too unwell to actually get to the venue, so spoke over, or prerecorded a video speech. You hear his electronic voice, but otherwise there is no sign that he is involved in its’ generation.  It would be brilliant if he could utilise hologram technology to ‘ be ‘ on the stage, talking.

Just an idea, Stephen, if you’re reading ?

You have to smile at the iphone emoticons… if you type Elvis ? that happens!

And if you type Crap ? that happens!

God, if Apple ? left me in charge of their emoticons, it would be even  more fun than it is …

Sleep was ok in the end, but spasms are relentless today.  My conviction that they are mostly intestine/ bowel related is deeper than ever. I’m sure I was a stomachache that I can’t feel, so I spasm a lot instead.

Why can’t I just have the benefit of not feeling anything?!

Anyway, that’s how it is.

Got a large white envelope today. So often they are junk mail, but this one was a divorce petition.

It made interest reading, I must say.

I’ll neither be crying into my drink, nor celebrating with several, as alcohol and diarrhoea tendencies don’t go well together.

I do think that the Shits have passed, but I shan’t take any chances there, and not for at least a couple of days.

Lily studying hard, Amber on party weekend, soon to be ex wife in Snowdonia ( be careful up there, if you’re reading! ) so  I’ll find something to do, and take wet wipes with me.

And I’ll keep smiling.

After a very sleepless night, I eventually found out  why I’d spasmed so much.

When you can’t feel your tummy, neither can you feel a ‘ funny tummy ‘.

Diarrhoea is something I’ve not had in 3 years plus, until this morning.

The carer had the lovely job of ‘ dealing ‘ with that, poor lady.  I feel nothing at all.  Well, except embarrassment and shame.

That bad start over, I was accompanied by the awesome Mr T ( Strauss)  by a mix of bicycle ? and Triride, and Tube ( again )  under West London through to Tower Hill ( next to the Tower of London ), across the historic bridge ( my first time ) to London Bridge Hospital, to see my spine surgeon.

Five minutes before I was due to go into his office, I realised that I was again in a mess. You can’t call it the Trots if you can’t trot, the Runs if you can’t run, so I’ll have to call it the Shits.

You’d think a hospital would be the best place to be in this situation, but with a nurse only going as far as to offer some tissues then perhaps not?

As  I can’t stand up and ‘ sort my own shit out’ it was Mr T to the rescue. He explained that he was used to wiping the dog’s arse, which made me feel a lot better…. his dog is called Olly, and now Olly and I suddenly have a lot more in common.

There when I fell off my bike in France, I didn’t suppose Toby was looking forward 3 years and imagining this afternoon’s pleasure. If he had, he’d probably have insisted we all go on a walking holiday instead.

More cleaning when I got back and now it’s 1 am and I’m spasming badly in bed all over again

Groundhog Day coming up ?

Mother and father :
You are both out .
I have speech and drama tomorrow morning meaning I have to wake up early . I am very tired and not in a good mood . When you come back late do not wake me up or I was be severely irritated. Do not come into my room and risk waking me up . Do not make any noise . Do not do anything that may result in me getting a shorter sleep .
Regards ,
Your tired , grumpy and very loving daughter X

4.43 am and spasms every few seconds for the last  4 hours… doesn’t do a lot for attempting to sleep, or thinking happy thoughts.

I have an appointment in hospital tomorrow that I’d prefer to be alert for. It looks like I might have to postpone that one, unless I sleep soon.

I’ve had another sleeping tablet, changed positions a lot, tried sleeping sitting up – all to no avail.

I know that I’ll get over this, and it will soon cease to be a memory, but at the moment I’m pissed off, and writing this just to pass the time really.

It’s  like trying to sleep through a minor earthquake.

Today, for the first time in over 3 and a half years, I caught the Tube.

My God, it’s changed a lot in that time.

It was pretty surreal being on it.  It was a little other – World’y. It was all very familiar yet unknown.

Being sat down and low, it all looks different. And the trains on the District Line are all new?!

There’s no gap to mind anymore – if there was I wouldn’t be able to bridge it easily.

There is a stretch on each platform that is raised too, so that I can go straight onto the train, with no step up.

I had no idea it would be so easy. I did have help ( thanks Kim ) and was attached to my powered wheel gizmo, but if I’d been alone I think I’d be fine, after a few goes.

I went from Hammersmith to Blackfriars, and then 0.4 miles to see my solicitor.  It absolutely pissed with rain, but hey, I was always in a kayak so rain is nothing to me.

The other cool thing is that I’d stood in an election for a position in the British College of Optometrists.  Every college member in the London region was allowed to vote and there were 4 candidates – and evidently I got the most votes.

Good Lord, Trump will get elected as the President of America next……

I can tell that having a chair that now goes pretty fast has brought my reckless side back.

Still not sure of where exactly I stand legally, I’m pushing the boundaries a little.

A. 3 am ride back after Pia’s brilliant party, with my friend Julie on my lap was, let’s say, amusing.

There’s very little traffic on the roads at that time, certainly far less than there was today on the ride into Kensington ( also in the pouring rain ). Big thanks to Marky P for his outrider biking skills alongside me tonight.

But Mark… where were you at 3am on Saturday night?!  I thought Julie was going to die laughing during the 6 mile ride home… and we didn’t get out of top gear..

My stand up chair is certainly better at parties, until people move about- and that’s what they do, obviously – at which point they may as well have disappeared… as I can’t then turn around .

Post RGS, I now know a lot more about space and satellites than I did this morning. The whole satellite thing is very cool, and has changed human lives for ever, hugely.

The speaker, from a space company called Catapult, showed a mock up video of how the world might be in 2030 ( not long from now )  – and lots of stuff had changed! And it all seemed very feasible.  E.g. Jumping in the driverless car, which just picks you up and takes you to your destination, and collects you, and whilst in it you are totally connected to everyone and everything that you choose to be.

Was it exciting to see those advances?

No, not really, but..

Earthlings…… get ready for it!

Having my wheel has made me far more confident about going out, and being independent.

Where possible, I’d rather go under my own steam ( electric) than take vehicular conveyance. Obviously it’s cheaper than taxis, and it avoids the difficulty actually getting into and out of a bus. The thing is that whilst it’s easy ( ish ) to get up the ramp that comes out of the side of the bus, once I’m in and the bus is underway, it’s pretty impossible to turn around so that I can drive out forwards, and therefore reliant on someone else to ‘ take me from behind ‘… down the ramp.

And I’m not altogether comfortable thinking about that, never mind actually doing it.

Great to see half of the Toulon 12 last night in the Gay Pub of Chiswick

Toby, Pete, Sam, Neil and Jeremy  all came out to help me…..

I’d earlier spoken to my surgeon and had the ( good ) news that no metalwork has shifted/ come apart/ broken. He and I both know that it’s essential not to try to bend any further than the metalwork allows, it it will break and screws and rods will burst through my skin  – like a wheelchair version of Hellraiser.

I have another appointment on Friday to discuss what’s next.

Cool to spend time with Nick Sparey too, and Pia also, as always.

Something is up today- when I move my head fast the world spins.

I hope I don’t have a middle ear issue/ infection. I had one of those ten years ago, and it was pretty unpleasant. And if I can’t even move my head, then there’s not much else I can do!

From the Manageress, at the Care Agency…