In a hospital, on a trolley.

Spasms off the scale. Violent jerking of both legs. No let up.

I’m so on edge all of the time, and have been for ages.
I’m going to Charing Cross to be X-rayed.
I dont know, but I’m thinking maybe I dislocated a hip when I cartwheeled down a long escalator in mid December.
Logically it doesn’t make that much sense if I escaped fairly unscathed from that ( other than a deep cut to my chin and another to my left thumb
– treated by me with half a tube of superglue ) Yes I should have gone to hospital, but it was 11pm on a Saturday night In London and that weekend was a nurse’s strike. Well I wasn’t in pain, was I? But I’m not going to be, am I? I can’t feel anything…

I’m up against it in the battle against my ex wife, who actually has no just case at all yet hounds me. My daughters support her. It seems most people do, and I’m called unreasonable etc.
Am I uncomplimentary about her? Yep. If you walked in my shoes so would you be. I want her to leave me alone and to stop poisoning my kids. I’ve dated loads of divorced women. All of them say they don’t poison the kids. They all dislike their exes but they know their kids need a dad.
Id like Danielle to be paralysed and In a wheelchair and then not see her daughters for 7 years to see how it feels. In reality though, had this situation been in reverse, no matter how much I disliked her, I’d MAKE my daughters see her. Make them.
So yes, leave me alone Danielle, please. Stop the persecution. I would like to very much leave you alone. What if I offer to contact Space X and pay for a Mars ticket for you? I can’t stretch to the return ticket but it’s probably nice on Mars – the views n all.
Is that unkind to write that? Well obviously it’s not going to actually happen, so it’s black humour. If Elon Musk is reading this though, email me.

I seem to be living an altered reality tbh.

If I am in extreme pain that I can’t feel, then the amount of stress hormones floating around me would be extreme. I don’t seem to be cut any slack by most people though. Just Mark,Mike, Leigh, Chris and Charlie. Oh and always Gina G. Good to have some support
( sorry 17/3/23 edit – that’s an incomplete list. I have some very lovely and supportive people in my life. Without them I wouldn’t be here. As in alive )

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