Wendy’s alarm went off today. It’s the sound of a harp being strummed, and is the same one she uses every day.

It strums, and she does a massive jump, going from sleep to waking ( I was already awake ).

Wendy – Omg what a way to wake up!!

Me – You wake up like that every day?

W- I know, but still!

Then, half asleep again very quickly-

W- Do you think rats can get up to the second floor?

M- Yes
W – How?
M- Up the stairs
W- Rats can climb stairs!?

M- They’re rats, not daleks, of course they can climb stairs Rats can climb trees…

W- They can’t?! Why would a rat climb a tree?!

M- I don’t know- to eat fruit probably

W- Rats don’t eat fruit, they eat dead meat!

M- Rats eat everything

W- Where have you seen rats climb trees? In Wales?

Me (laughing) , well I haven’t ever seen it, but I know they can.

W- Well you might have a rat here? As I gave you a kiss in the night I suddenly thought you may have a rat!

M- I don’t think so. It couldn’t get through the door

W-Yes they can!

M- How?

W-Through tiny cracks. They turn upside down and just scrabble through.

M- Where have you seen that?

W- On Tom and Gerry they do it.
And so can cats.

( Good grief. When she’s properly awake she’s normal )