Realising my propensity for accidents is set in stone, I have invested in, and fitted a rear view mirror to my right hand Triride grip, and bought and fitted extra lights to go along with the ones I already had.

My helmet is Gay Pink and very visible, and has reflective strips on it, as well as flashing lights.

Along with my new tattoos, I wouldn’t be out of place in Madame Jo-Jo’s, after closing time.

In some of the ‘ more extreme ‘ fetish clubs in the big cities, it’s actually quite acceptable to turn up in nothing but a wheelchair, with catheter and Pee bag fitted  ( properly ) – when there’s actually no medical reason for either.

If my optical career closes, then who knows how laterally I might have to think to earn a few quid?

I may be advertising for a ( pretend ) nurse to push me around those venues – preferably a female obviously – all ‘ uniform ‘ to be provided .

Please apply, with attached photo ( must have been taken within the last 20 years ).

Did 20mph for a couple of miles in the bus lane today.. of a fairly busy road.

Unlike being a cyclist, drivers are not abusive, and appeared to slow down when passing me?!

I think it’s the novelty value of seeing a wheelchair speeding through London…

After a bit, I noticed there seemed to be something following me, at a bit of a distance behind. As I can’t properly look behind me ( can’t twist my torso, and I’m not an owl, and don’t have a mirror yet ) I didn’t realise the obvious – that it was a bloody great bus.. for a while!

The driver didn’t even give me a hard time..

Maybe it’s the new world order, in the bus lane?

Massive happy birthday to Pia, for tomorrow.

Have the best time!

xx

Like everyone, I got a fair few ‘Happy New Years’ by text and in person.

I have to say though, that it feels like the unhappiest end of one, and start of another, that I can remember.

Since 2013 life hasn’t been a bed of roses, but in the last 4 months, I’d turned it around a lot.

Its been a while since I found my eyes just filling with tears, that then won’t bloody stop.

I’ve lots of life changing events heading my way in 2017, that don’t have happy associations.

I’ve learnt not to be optimistic, as I’ve written before.  I’d be a fool to have high expectations, so I’ll suppress any notions of hope to a sensible degree ( as in almost negligible ).

Best way definitely.

Happy New Year to everyone else though!

Watching Harry Potter by myself is definitely the last time that I’m ever going to not plan a NYE !

Thank God I spent time with Pia and Jeremy earlier to dilute the embarrassment.

A painful abdomen and spasms didn’t help either, but a night without alcohol is a good thing….. he said through gritted teeth.

At 12 I thought about my girls, Q and Nev.

I’m hoping that 2017 is better than 2016.

X

So only 3 hours sleep last night.

Never mind – except I may not make 12 tonight?!

What have things come to, ffs…

Anyway, big thanks to Fabi, for making me buy a Virtual Reality headset- you get the App, stick your phone in it, and Hey Presto you’re on a rollercoaster/ summit ing Everest/ swimming wiv da fishes etc etc.

I cant find the ‘ Boys Weekend in Prague’ one yet, but please send if you have it?

The bloody spasms are keeping me awake.

It’s 2.30 and it’s a bit relentless.

I’m getting hot but I don’t have the movement to get off the T shirt that I don’t normally wear, and the struggle makes me hotter.

I elevate the bed to let me see my feet , one of which is stuck between 2 bed bars, spasming.

i can’t reach it to free it, so I struggle to reach a knee and move that , which frees the foot.

Released, the foot is now doing its thing at the bottom of the bed, not  looking too injured after it’s spell in confinement

Bugger me, my kayak mate Randall, who I wrote about in this diary only last week, had a bloody heart attack really not long after seeing me.

i think he ate  both of our desserts that night, but that wouldn’t be unusual, and I’m sure can’t have been the reason for his arrest.

Anyway, I’m bloody relieved that he is now definitely on the mend, and I’m sorry that I didn’t know, and I’m sorry that I didn’t visit you in hospital too, my friend .

Also lovely to spend time with Nicola recently and the now normal legged Neal Watson, yesterday, who now doesn’t have to give me a push, as I have my own wheel!

My Christmas present to myself was something I never thought I’d do, pre injury.

Painful, but  definitely eye catching!

Mark, you’ll like this.

What’s nippy, economical, and drives around Paris ?

Wait for it….

The hatchback of Notre Dame..

C’mon, that is funny!

Ever since my injury I’ve had the strangest ( consistent ) memory lapse  –  I’m never quite sure what year it is?

I often think it’s 2017 already, and have done for a while. Maybe that’s my desperation to catch up on lost time?

I bought a book called Embarrassing Dad Jokes ( something like that  ) today.

Kids aren’t supposed to laugh at their Dad’s jokes, is the idea.

Mine did though, at these ones.

Their favourite was  –

What goes Peck Peck Peck Peck Peck Boom ?

A chicken in a minefield.

Perhaps that says says a lot about my kids?!