Thinking of you, babe. May the Fourth be with you. Xxxx See you Saturday. Xxx

Enjoy the nice sleep today, but remember to wake up afterwards. I like the world better with you in it. Xxx

Russ. Hope it goes well to day mate. Speak to you after your op. L

Good luck for tomorrow mate. Hope all goes as planned.I’ll be thinking of you,not in a gay way.

Russ, I hope all goes well with your op. Another milestone in your rehabilitation and all being well an end to the spasms. Will try and get over to visit early next week.
M

Good luck for tomorrow. Hope it all goes well …freedom !!! ?x

I will try and come to see you if I can but if not (as I fly at 5 Monday morning) can we catch up as soon as I’m back.

Gd luck Thurs Dawks. C&SX

Okay sweetie, let me know when you know when your ops due to finish xx
And here’s to a brighter future coming to you. ??

Cool. Just think of all the extra time you will have ! Keep me posted on op time so i can plan visit

Thought so hope all goes well etc how long you expecting to be in for?

I’m in America at the moment with my mom ? glad to hear you’re having your op on Thursday is that still on? x

Good luck for the op Russ…

I remember you mentioned. I am overseas next week, otherwise would have nicked some of your grapes. See you after the plumbing done.

Will do I have taken the first step by asking you for your help. Take care I will be thinking about you tomorrow x

Oh Darling, when will be a good visit time?

Good luck tomorrow russ a momentous op for you

Good luck for the op tomorrow Handsome x

Ok Russ, hope the surgery goes ok and the procedure turns out to make your life just a bit easier. Will FaceTime you. A x

Best of luck for today. Hope all goes well xxx

I’ve been trying to think of some good ‘arse’ jokes, or Star Wars Day jokes (May the Fourth be with poo?) (Getting a hole new Death Star?)
(Luke, I am your farter?) (Oooh – there’s a question – what will happen to your farts? You won’t have a sphincter to toot through.)
So many intresting questions to ask you on Saturday!

Also , as its Star Wars Day, May the 4th be with you ?

From my Aunty, and Uncle…

 
HI our Russ ,thinking about you,wishing you well, for tomorrow, lifewill be much better regarding your arse end.I, m sure .Only wish I was living nearby so I could pop in and you could do the same.all the best for tomorrow,will be in our thoughts

. Love you Gill and Mike xxxx

Soooo…. London Bridge Hospital.

22, Tooley St.  Right next to London Bridge station… and right next to a very high building… with a pointy top… that looks like a splinter of glass.

I wonder why they didn’t call that building The Splinter? …Instead of some other name ..?

I’m not allowed to eat anything today, pre surgery.

Theyve also told be to take various strong laxatives which would give me diarrhoea, and warned me to stay close to a toilet. It’s quite extraordinary to me that the hospital nurse that I had the consultation with didn’t talk about this stuff ( she just said to take the laxatives ).

How on earth am I supposed to rush to the loo when I feel the need?

For a start, I don’t ‘ feel the need’ , I feel nothing at all. What she is effectively ‘ condemning me to ‘ is 24 hours of soiling myself in my wheelchair…  that’s NOT going to happen, I can assure you.

I’m already doubting the expertise of the hospital staff.

This is how ******** up this flat is.
I’ve been in bed for 4 hours. I obviously am unable to move from this bed, or move much in the bed, at that.
No one has enquired after me, or spoken to me 🙂
And nobody will until my carer arrives tomorrow..

Just imagine that.
It’s an odd existence.

It’s  a fast forward to being in a home, and having no family that wants to visit, or perhaps having no family at all.

When I’m in hospital, it’ll be so much more fun than it is here.

Weird for sure, but true.

By contrast, this week 2 complete strangers have approached me and told me that they read this diary, and appeared to think well of me.  I have that  ‘ compensation ‘ at least.

Thanks to B**** for the amusing Pringle exchange.  Pringle may get become common slang for a bloke’s underpants.

‘ Oi, get yer Pringles off, and get into bed!’ ..?

Might catch on?

Essentially my current ‘ routine ‘ involves me sh****** the bed every morning, and then doing my best to clean up what I can’t feel, except with my hands. Lying in bed, I can just about reach to clean myself up, though it’s far from certain that I actually manage that very well with kitchen roll and baby wipes. Getting onto an actual toilet is something that I cannot do.

The District Nurses proved so poor at helping me that I abandoned their services 2 months ago, and self manage. My carer obviously helps in the final cleaning process, once she has arrived. Obviously nobody in my family would dream of assisting me, either. Actually I’m not even sure if they even know?

Living like this is obviously not a fantastic long term proposition, hence the desire for the colostomy. It’s not the greatest start to every day, but it is a necessity as the alternative is sh***** myself in my wheelchair.

Its all relative, isn’t it?

And I have only 2 more days of doing this.  That’s pretty good.

As Pringlegate rumbles on in this apartment, so I take on the words of the Bard about ‘ protesting too much ‘ .

So apparently they are not the property of you know who.. they aren’t mine though.

Neither are they my eldest’ s 15 year old boyfriend’s – way too big.

They’re not my STBE wife’s … she doesn’t wear men’s underwear  ( or does she ? )

Theyre not Lily’s.

They’re not Amber’s.

Apparantly I might have picked them up on my recent travels? One Saturday night in Southampton then, and I come back with an extra pair of pants. As I can’t actually reach the floor myself to collect pants, it must have been someone else that snuck them into my case.

I’m definitely going to have to investigate further, I can see.  The blindingly obvious answer is evidently completely wrong…..and I’m ever so sorry for having jumped to that conclusion.

🙂

Is your new life – surrounded by people who are nice to you and each other – going to seem really dull in comparison?

Officially single.

And it feels amazing 🙂

To Mike and Theresa for inviting me out on their family birthday lunch. Mike was *1 today and reckons he was in the same year as me in school.

No way, I say.. unless he was one of my teachers ?

Anyway, Happy Berfday Mr Smith.  I felt very honoured to be the only non family member there.

Russ