Making arrangements always seem like a great idea, the actuality of fulfilling them is often  mentally and physically harder than I anticipate. 

Getting in and out of the car continues to be a challenge.  The height differential between the car seat and the seat of my chair is invariably more than six inches and there’s about 15 inches sideway’s jump too. I continue to rely on a ‘slide board ‘ to traverse the void, and cannot possibly see how I’ll ever bloody do it without one, given the contortions I make to cross the gap. 

Admittedly the car’s not ideal, the door’s too small and my legs are too long, so get in the way. Progress in this dept has totally stalled, as have other manoeuvres too. 

The very real fear of falling into the kerb gap, injuring my sacrum yet again, prevents me hopping the chasm as I should one day manage. 

Christ almighty, for an athlete previously devoid of the fear emotion, my world has altered ridiculously. 

Friday night we stayed in, thanks to a last minute cancellation. Phew, tho I fell asleep very early. 

Saturday involved car journeys Lily’s school fair, to see Cherie ( who pummelled my already painful shoulders for 40 minutes) , and to Pia and Cliff’s for dinner, getting back at 1.30 am. 

Dan and Gerry called in to see me too, at around 4. Thanks guys. 

The fair featured very nice stalls, lucky dips and raffles, emptying my wallet totally…. 

Lily’s class mate, Sophie Dyson, provided truly fabulous piano and vocals for our entertainment. Google her – incredible voice for a 12 year old, not to mention amazing piano mastery. 

Cliff used his self taught carpentry skills to create ramps all over their house for me. And even painted them Dalek Grey. 

So thoughtful. Larry, Sarah, Bev and James were amusing company, doing such things as ‘the After Eight Challenge’…. ( forehead to mouth without using hands ..). 

I barely slept Saturday night, so was tired for Sundays birthday lunch for Dani’s sister, Sam. 

The real problem with all the generous commitments is that I hardly see my daughters. I’d estimate a maximum of 2 hours over the weekend spent with them in close proximity, which isn’t enough. 

Once they’ve played hockey, gone to parties/drama class/ seen their friends/ had sleepovers , there isn’t much time left for their Dad. 

Before I accepted it, now it’s hard.

I can’t wait to be discharged so I get to see more of them. They really don’t realise how sad not seeing them makes me. 

We’re committing to cut down our weekend engagements so I can get more family time in. 

At the moment I dread Sunday evenings, as it means a return to SM, kissing my children goodbye, having barely seen them. 

That’s got to change. 

Sleep tight. 

Yes, that’s right, you read it right. 

I was expecting videos of graphic wheelchair gymnastic sex, Cirque du Soleil style, maybe with a few dwarves thrown in. 

Instead I saw lots of diagrams and had a chat with a very nice lady in a wheelchair who told me how amazing HER sex life is now. 

She also claimed that any female that has tried it with a paraplegic would never go back to a regular guy……

Ok girls, who’s first? Book early to avoid disappointment. 

She showed me diagrams of the location of the female G spot. 

I explained to her that this mythical area was made up by lesbians and feminists to make husbands look bad. 

She ignored me. 

My mind began to wander, brought sharply back to focus by a picture of a girl wearing bondage gear, in a wheelchair, on her laptop, that flashed by, ‘flash frame style’ for a millisecond. 

As she declined flicking back to it, I can only assume that I was considered too mainstream to be allowed into that cheeky world just yet. 

Roll on lecture no. 2….

🙂

Back row, fourth from the left. 🙂

They work. 🙂

What a great mate Chris has been, especially demonstrated since this happened. 

He was the second person I met at Uni, was an usher at my wedding, and ever since, with Caroline his wife, he’s been a loyal mate to me. 

Going back so far, we’re able to talk about a lot of things. 

Conversations these days are unlike those of the past, more open, more honest, more frank; not just with Chris, but with pretty much everyone I see. 

People now open up and talk so freely about topics they wouldn’t have before. 

Interesting that, isn’t it?

Lisa came this evening, bringing great food and more wine. Given there’s a no alcohol policy here, it’s a wonder I haven’t been kicked out yet. 

I had a sex education lecture too. I asked if they had any videos. 

She sort of ignored the question ! 🙂

Thanks to Sel and Helen for coming to update me on how our business is doing, in my absence. 

Work in the short term isn’t that likely, but  I’ll get there in due course, once I’ve  mastered getting into a car, packing my chair in it, driving, and doing the same in reverse the other end… Then actually doing my job.

Sorry guys for the inconvenience I’ve caused you. 

But I’ll try to make it up to you. 

As mentioned, passing the village of Coleshill, Bucks, on the way up, reminded me of an old favourite:

 

There was a young lady from Coleshill,

Who inadvertently sat on a mole’s hill,

An inquisitive mole stuck his snout up her hole,

The young lady’s alright but the mole’s ill.

 

Being confined to a chair hasn’t really slowed down my social calendar… Dani has seen to that.  

Sitting by the fire with a blanket over my knees ( surely what disabled people do..? ) is not an option. 

Thank God. 

Dinner on Friday with Dan, Sas, Rick, Cal and Lou was a blast. 

Having 6 people all far more drunk than me looking after me was an experience. 

Thankfully we got a taxi home. 

Twickenham yesterday was my first taste of life in the wheelchair section of an organised event. 

Believe me, you’ve absolutely no idea just how many ‘unfortunates’ there are. 

Some of us were those with birth defects, others, like me, with acquired. 

All human beings that suffered a misfortune, that society does its best to help. 

I’m not comfortable with life like this yet. 

I’m an athlete, a success, a leader…. hard to be any of those at this time. 

I know I’ll get emails telling me to shut up but I’m telling you how I feel. 

I’m not morbidly depressed or anything ( after all, England didn’t win 😉 but Christ I’m sad about it!

Anyway Larry ensured we had a laugh and I also saw Chris, Caroline, Pete, Charlie, Mark and his fab son in the bar inside the ground after the game. Everyone went out of their way to make sure I was ok, and therefore I was!

Dani dropped us, and picked us up, making life easier. She does everything so uncomplainingly, when I know I’m a pain in the arse (albeit not intentionally). Her love continues to be unconditional and demonstrated at all times. I’m in awe of her more than ever before. 

Larry and Sarah came back to ours, and drank their usual quota. Again I was certainly the most sober adult in the house. 

After the girls got back from hockey today we played Balderdash – the game of bullshitting – which of course I won ( what does that say about me ). Funny couple of hours though. 

Then I saw Cherie for more therapy, went home for Laura’s delicious salmon dinner ( hand delivered!) , then at 6 Dani brought me back here. 

The guy next to me is currently snoring his loaf off, and I seem to have lost bladder control. Great. 

The joys of hospital life. 

Wish I was you. 

X