Good afternoon,

Thank you for your response which is much appreciated. I feel compelled to report the  treatment received today.

While waiting at Stamford Brook Bus stop for the 237 to White City we were relieved to see the bus approaching as it was cold and raining. Unfortunately the ramp of the bus could not be deployed, though the driver attempted to do so at least 5 or 6 times. He then radio’d the control centre to ask for technical advice while apologising profusely to me and all the time my charge ( Russ ) waiting outside the shelter in the rain . When it was apparent that the ramp would not deploy he again contacted control to find when the next 237 was arriving. His driver number on this route was No.12 and he should be commended for his dedication also undergoing the wrath of an elderly lady regarding the delay.

To our utter dismay the next 237 arrived with a sullen and surly driver who became irritated when I asked him to move forward by 2m to avoid road furniture. He then advised me that he couldn’t take the wheelchair as he had two buggies on board ! I informed him that his was the second bus not to take us, that my charge was headed for hypothermia and that it was illegal for him to refuse us.

With a disgruntled and rude demeanour he moved the bus forward 1m (I had asked for 2m) and opened the doors without deploying the ramp whereupon the two ladies had to manhandle their buggies s

with babies onto the road . Both ladies were appalled by the drivers dismissive attitude and very apologetic to my charge on the behalf of London buses!!

We finally boarded the bus but once again not without drama and inconvenience.

The driver number is No 13 Bus 237 at current time.

I am not trying to be difficult regarding these complaints but while I have your attention feel compelled to on behalf of wheelchair users across London. Paralysed, injured and infirm people have a hard enough life as it is without adding this type of mean spirited behaviour to their considerable challenges. In the month I have been working as a carer in London I have found bus drivers as a rule to be generally irritated with us whereas the Underground staff are as a rule helpful, polite and go out of their way to make our travel a little easier. There have been a couple of kind and helpful bus drivers and I thank them but we strongly feel that the driver training requires more comprehensive modules regarding the customer care of wheelchair users.

Thank you once again for your attention and response which is much appreciated.

Kindest regards

Linda

11502179

Date: 08/02/2018

Dear Linda

Thanks for your email on 6 February about the appalling behaviour of a route 94 bus driver when you and a gentleman in a wheelchair attempted to board at Abinger Road.

I’m very sorry the driver told you to wait for the next bus and made no attempt to ask the two buggies in the priority area to make space. I can understand this must’ve been upsetting, especially given the cold weather conditions at the time you mentioned.

We’re committed to making the bus network as accessible as possible and all bus drivers know what is expected of them in such instances. As you’re aware if a wheelchair user wishes to board, it is now a legal requirement for bus drivers to get them on the bus. It’s disappointing that on this occasion, the driver clearly fell below the standard expected of them.

I can assure you that this has been raised with London United, who operates the bus 94 on our behalf. With the information you’ve helpfully provided, they’ll try to identify the driver and a member of their management team will speak to them about this.

Thanks again for bringing this to our attention. If there is anything else we can help you with, please reply to this email. Alternatively, you can speak to us on 0343 222 1234 and we’d be happy to help.

Kind regards

Chico Uche
Customer Service Adviser
Transport for London Customer Services

I see a LOT of bands, but tonight is a night I’ve looked forward to since I booked it 6 months ago.

Its the crazy lot in this YouTube vidéo !

Dear Russell,

I hope you don’t mind me saying what I’m about to in this email but I’ll find it hard not to. Your ‘A Conversation’ part of your blog actually made me cry. From being an athletic and agile individual to having limited to no movement is hard hitting and must be incredibly difficult- and for that I am truly sorry.

Losing friends and family over something that is not only out of your control but also a life changing burden on your life is beyond upsetting and wrong and is making me emotional just writing it. I hope for certain that your children do try with you and don’t turn a blind eye.

Like you say, it’s incredibly easy for anyone not in your situation to be dismissive of it (in no way does that make it ok- absolutely not) but people are naive and when it doesn’t effect them, they try to ignore its existence, to make them feel better, which I know you’ve put in your blog. That is a very very sad reality, but Russell, what I love about this life, is that there are so many amazing things that happen, that make the bad all worth it. I hope you find this too:) I understand my comment there may seem naive in the grand scope of what your reality is, but I hope you find it true. Your wonderful and beautiful PA Linda is a single reason to smile alone, what’s fabulous lady! You two are quite the pair and I really enjoyed meeting the both of you last night at the Pinter! I hope you come again to see some more wonderful shows:)

It was a pleasure Russell. I wish you all the best and I hope that that 94 bus driver gets his Karma quick! – what a twat.

All the best,

Brittany x

P.S. Thank you so much for your kind and generous words about me in your blog. It means a lot and warms my heart knowing that I’ve done right in my job! I am also so glad that you enjoyed the play so much… isn’t theatre just wonderful!

Harold Pinter has to be the most random genius of them all. His play really made no sense at all, yet was utterly mesmerising from start to finish, with me listening intently to every single word. I haven’t been gripped like that for 2-3 hours, in over 5 years, if ever… yet I’d absolutely see why some people ( even a lot ) would find his stuff just weird.  Apparently when this same play was first on, many years ago, it closed after only 8 shows.

Best thing I’ve done since my injury, and a massive thank you to the beautiful and kind lady that helped me at the Harold Pinter theatre – here’s to Brittany… exemplary customer pleaser.

❤️ From Linda and Russ

Today I feel I’ve gone back in time. I’m at the theatre with Linda ( from Zimbabwé ), about to watch The Birthday Party, by Harold Pinter, a rather learned and eminent playwright.

I feel like a Missionary, educating the  heathen in the ways of  The Civilised.

Which to be honest is how it actually is….. 😂

A bus pulled up with 2 prams inside. I spoke to the driver myself, and he was very aware of the legal situation. HE was in control of what happened next… which was him closing the doors and driving off.

Linda wrote to the relevant Authority. I should have pressed Record on my video phone. Next time I’ll remember to.

94 Bus

Dear Sir or Madam,

I was horrified at the dismissive attitude of the bus driver on the above route at 17.24pm Tuesday 6th February. I am the PA for a gentleman who is paralysed from chest down. On trying to board the bus the driver asked us to wait for the next bus as he had two buggy’s in the wheelchair space. He refused to even open the door for us.

Today is one of the coldest days in London, currently-2degrees C. A paraplegic or quadriplegic has no ability to regulate their body temperature and lower limb extremities function as cold blooded rather than warm blooded mammals. This means the individual can easily slip into hypothermia. The action of your bus driver was not only illegal, as wheelchairs have preference, but highly dangerous.

Luckily the next bus driver of bus SN60BYM was more sympathetic and definitely more educated and asked the buggy to make way for us. I would have hated to enter into legal action against your company but felt it necessary to advise this situation and suggest stronger emphasis during your driver training procedures on the reasons why wheelchair users are given preference.

I would appreciate a response or alternatively can forward the matter to London TravelWatch.

Yours sincerely,

Linda Warren

Sent from my iPhone

A conversation with an old Uni friend :

I don’t know if this is directly related to how you’re made to feel every day, but I’m learning from you that it seems that even though as a society we have become quite good at providing physically for those with disabilities there is an emotional component lacking e.g. an elevator out of commission and you’re stuck, your bag failure, the lady on the bus who wouldn’t acknowledge your right to use the space physically assigned to you, the delicate-and-easy-to-damage-but-difficult-to-replace plug on your wheelchair. Am I right in thinking that as a society we need to develop a better understanding of the emotional aspects of living with a disability so that we can design the physical provisions better for when the worse-case happens to that provision? And that we also need to create a more empathetic society so that people understand better someone’s reliance on an elevator service or space on a bus?
An aspect of my work is to make sure that we meet the physical needs of those with disabilities, and reading your blog and writing with you is giving me a better understanding of those needs – beyond the physical. You’re highlighting issues that many would keep very quiet about, but that are worth us all understanding happen to you. You are affecting change in society, one blog post at a time!

Nai

My reply –

Ahh A Man, thank you for saying that.
Oh for sure I believe people have no clue. People just seem to think everything is the same for me but I’m just sat down- and everyone likes to be sat down, right?
People have no concept of what it’s like to not have any control or sensation at all below in my case the chest.
You can’t, unless you’ve had it.
I think that society gives me less than the respect that is due, because ‘ surely it’s not that bad, and surely you can manage those 2 steps??? etc etc ‘

The emotional effects are huge. They’re massive.
It’s so upsetting it’s beyond comprehension, to not be able to do normal things, really easy things, and to have to ask for help with so much because they just are not possible to do.
You have to swallow it all and endure, or choose death/ hiding away from everyone and everything, trapped in your prison. Partners leave, friends subtly shun you, and it’s because THEY can’t cope with it, so they turn the other cheek and pretend you don’t exist anymore. I totally understand why people do that, people take the easiest choice, and im sure I was equally guilty of doing that, before my ‘ forced enlightenment ‘. You’re left partnerless, friendless , even your children turn away from you. People that know me might read this and think ‘ oh, he’s having a bad day, by the looks’ but the reality is that EVERY SINGLE DAY is a bad day, and it’s never going to change, ever, so you have to suck it up.

I’m by and large ok at the moment, but thoughts of ‘ why don’t you just make it easier and kill yourself?’ just pass through my brain at quite random but regular intervals, often when I’m least expecting them. Fatigue from just trying to endure, makes these thoughts more regular, as I’ve found yesterday, after a spasming lack of sleep, then finding out I would shortly be homeless, officially.
The normal world carries on regardless, not really caring, let’s face it.
Will it ever change? I doubt it, unless everyone is obliged to spend a month like me, with all my challenges, drugs administered to stop use and sensation of body for that month, just to glimpse the awful reality, just to see how they’d cope out there in the world, a world that is made for normality not abnormality.
Most would spend the month crying and broken I think, even though that month would end and normality would return.

Depressing stuff, I’m afraid, my friend.

Russ

One if thé most inappropriate things to say to me is ‘ Hey, All Good?’  Imagine you had just been diagnosed with cancer, maybe lost your child or parent, or had your hand amputated, and someone asks you that… of course they mean well, but it’s a pretty daft question in the circumstances, and completely non befitting the reality. Of course I am not ‘ all good ‘ – it’s painfully obvious, and when someone says that to me, my reality swamps me. I don’t react, and I smile as a response, but what I’m trying to say is to ‘ be aware of my/ another’s situation, and don’t pretend everything is fine when it patently is not ..’  because it’s more harmful than it is good, for that person.

English Puddles

My second week here in the land of puddles has whizzed by in an eternally moving stream of action, activity and adventure which is paradoxical in itself given that it is performed with a man whose legs don’t work any more. Well, they do but not under any control of Russ’s, so for example we will be sitting in a coffee shop and an almighty leg spasm will have the coffee shooting out of the cup or his phone leaping to the floor. At these times Russ’s favorite statement is to exclaim loudly : “Linda ! What did you do ?.” This is apparently his default setting when something goes wrong as Pia enlightened us all at a dinner during the week, describing Russ destroying his friend’ Dan’s gate barrier and also the infamous Earnest Shackleton lecture which saw the star of our show in an out-of-control wheelchair run over the lecturer, lectern and laser in front of an auditorium full of silently appalled people and to which Russ’s comment was predictably “Pia! What did you do.?” The full story can be read, and is worth a re-read, in the link below ( just tap the headline to read )

Things keep happening to me?!

This week has seen more hospitals, more lectures and more rain. Friday night saw Hammersmith flood with King St shut down to traffic. I travelled home from the now familiar London Bridge Hospital  at 9pm shortly before the waters rose and Russ came sliding through mud, water and icy puddles at 2am shortly after the water had subsided. We were shocked to learn the following day that the water level had reached over 4ft just before midnight and would have swallowed Russ’s wheelchair. Luckily his gorgeous date kept him entertained until 1am giving him time for a clean (!) getaway from the floodwaters. Meanwhile I was anxiously awaiting his return from midnight and the similarities to waiting up for my teenage daughters to return from clubbing in days gone by was so stressful I ate an entire box of chocolates while I was waiting….something every woman who reads this will understand.

More rain on Monday saw this caregiver flatly refuse to ride a bike through the muddy puddles to the lecture on Extreme Weather at the RGS. I thought it perfectly reasonable not to want to present my mud streaked butt at the inimitable Royal Geographic Society. Russ nearly cried. The thought of not having his bodyguard glued to his rear wheel almost destroyed him and after half an hour of bickering and the honeymoon well and truly over I conceded that as the sun had come out I could ride after all and off we went. Upon our return to Chiswick Russ quietly went off to his room and returned with a pair of black waterproof leggings that he called ski pants but to me looked like a cross between oil skins and polystyrene which was alarming given what I’ve read on his blog about his fetish for fetish…. I politely but firmly refused. Russ assured me they had fitted him at 16stone so should be fine and in a huff I closed (read slammed) the bedroom door and pulled the dreaded plastic leggings over my jeans to find that not only do they fit but look much better than mud spattered trousers and are quite comfortable too. Needless to say I then raided his cupboard and relieved him of a variety of designer label cycling kit which I have worn to cycle every day this week. Admitting he was right was truly difficult – you all know this is not something you freely offer Russ but considering that every single item of clothing apart from my underwear was his I had to concede this point and have been subsequently unjustly crucified for my initial aversion to plastic leggings and puddles alike…..

I have begun to recognize more landmarks than just the London Eye and Tower Bridge and we have traversed the city by bikes, river cruise and the underground, shooting our own home movie at Wormwood Scrubs and draining the iBot battery at a brilliant live rendition of Missy Elliot at the Re-Imagine Club in Shoreditch. This particular night started as a potential disaster with a well intentioned door man explaining that they would “carry” the iBot up the three steps to the lift. When this 250kg oversight became apparent they removed a door from somewhere to use as a ramp and which the iBot only just fitted onto without a mm to spare. Needless to say we broke the door but made it in and were then treated like royalty by a hugely apologetic Club Manager who plied us with free bottles of wine and ordered a £300 ramp on the spot. He has formally asked our Russell to come back next week to test it as well as sign it and offered him shows free of charge forever more. The show finished at 10pm and we managed the bus ride to London Bridge station before the iBot died and then sat in the ticket office for an hour charging it. At least Russ had a comfy seat but I got the cold floor and consoled myself with a hot Cornish pastie while I explained that in Africa the pastie is a fabled food brought to our doors by my Devon bred parents and a true delicacy. Eventually we had to run for the last tube of the day and finally another 2 buses later at approaching 3am I asked Russ why he didn’t use Uber Assist which seemed the practical thing to me. My super intelligent boss said that was a good idea and promptly googled it to find that an Uber would have taken us 20 minutes …..

Notwithstanding the unnecessary travel methods it has been another interesting week as we learn to negotiate the peaks and troughs of our relationship and handling the daily challenges. The honeymoon may be over but in reality puddles are only a matter of perspective. Because after all, life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain……

Linda Warren

Bounced back in the only way possible – get out there and do what you had planned, and fing enjoy it. Linda and i went to a Missy Elliott gig in East London, and it was incredible. Our first gig together and obviously we were the coolest people there… ish.

Well we were the oldest, anyway.

RESPECT to the OG’s…..

Us and the vocalists, after the gig… in picture.