Sometimes I feel very, very trapped.
Tonight is one of those nights.

I wonder if you’re claustrophobic, and then end up in a wheelchair, whether the confinement that is paralysis, makes you feel eternally claustrophobic ?

My day was OK, as far as my days go, but my mind wanders to unpleasant places.

I’m reading a ( factual ) book about the first case of murder on a train in Britain. That was in 1864. I imagine there have may been lots since, given that was 152 years ago, but perhaps not.
It’s not exactly an upbeat tale, but neither was the one written by the brain surgeon that I’ve just finished. I think of my late partner, Selcuk, who almost certainly had a type of tumour against which he stood no chance, whatever the medical intervention, and of another friend now fairly riddled with cancer.

I’m at that age where friends and contemporaries will start to die of things. A friend of a friend ( a healthy guy ) just died in his sleep very recently ( funeral yesterday ). He was 56. It’s a good way to go, but nothing about it is good for those left behind.

‘ As long as you’ve got your health ‘ my Nan and very many elderly people that I met through work, have said.
When you’re young and fit, those words have very little impact on you.
It’s not until you actually lose your own health that you have any idea of the absolute truth in those few words.