No food after 9am, no drink after 12 midday.
Surgery at 5pm.

All that’s fine.

No alcohol at all for the last 36 hours has been more difficult….

It’s not as though I’m an alcoholic or anything, but bloody hell its amazing how much you fancy a drink when you’re told that you absolutely can’t have one.

Apparently it’s now cool for girls to grow their armpit hair, and dye it crazy colours.

Remember where you heard it first…

As I’ve been pretty spasm free for the last 3 weeks ( and been upbeat ) now that they’ve been bad today, I notice my mood sinking. I can therefore confirm that my spasms have a direct effect on my quality of life.

My first operation is just a few days away, and I can’t say how much I’m looking forward to having a body that is at least in a straight line. It should mean that I can have a less complicated wheelchair cushion and back rest, than the ones I have currently. There will be a reduction in weight, and as I’m straighter, it’ll be easier to push myself along.

As before my injury I was fairly obsessed by correct posture, it’s been a trial to be so asymmetrical, physically and mentally.
I think it might be a while before I even get back into my chair, post op, and they’ll introduce mobility gradually.

I’ve got a few books ( for my recent birthday ) and as I don’t watch much TV ( except for this Olympics – aren’t GB brilliant ! ) there are literally thousands of films that I can watch whilst on my back for weeks.

Maybe I’ll get the odd visitor too?

I like fruit, and chocolate, especially white chocolate … Milky Bars were a rarity in my childhood, and I’ve never quite got over it.

Drugs have worked, so that’s good – the infection cleared again, along with restoration of okay’ness.

My ops are confirmed as being Aug 23rd and sept 2nd.
Gulp – I thought there’d be a long delay, as I hadn’t had word from the hospital – but now, all of a sudden, they’re on.

The first one will involve being sliced open the whole length of my back, and my bent spine being realigned, and the second one an entry from my side, to install a ‘ cage’ around two disintegrating vertebrae. Both operations are in LONDON BRIDGE HOSPITAL, 27 TOOLEY ST where I was 3 years ago, after a flight back from Toulon – my one and only flight in a small private-type jet, though in a bed and full of needles, wires and tubes.

I don’t think I’ll leave hospital until October, so it’ll be a long, long internment.

Hopefully it will prove worthwhile.

The last words of Steve Jobs –

I have come to the pinnacle of success in business.
In the eyes of others, my life has been the symbol of success.
However, apart from work, I have little joy. Finally, my wealth is simply a fact to which I am accustomed.
At this time, lying on the hospital bed and remembering all my life, I realize that all the accolades and riches of which I was once so proud, have become insignificant with my imminent death.
In the dark, when I look at green lights, of the equipment for artificial respiration and feel the buzz of their mechanical sounds, I can feel the breath of my approaching death looming over me.
Only now do I understand that once you accumulate enough money for the rest of your life, you have to pursue objectives that are not related to wealth.
It should be something more important:
For example, stories of love, art, dreams of my childhood.
No, stop pursuing wealth, it can only make a person into a twisted being, just like me.
God has made us one way, we can feel the love in the heart of each of us, and not illusions built by fame or money, like I made in my life, I cannot take them with me.
I can only take with me the memories that were strengthened by love.
This is the true wealth that will follow you; will accompany you, he will give strength and light to go ahead.
Love can travel thousands of miles and so life has no limits. Move to where you want to go. Strive to reach the goals you want to achieve. Everything is in your heart and in your hands.
What is the world’s most expensive bed? The hospital bed.
You, if you have money, you can hire someone to drive your car, but you cannot hire someone to take your illness that is killing you.
Material things lost can be found. But one thing you can never find when you lose: life.
Whatever stage of life where we are right now, at the end we will have to face the day when the curtain falls.
Please treasure your family love, love for your spouse, love for your friends…
Treat everyone well and stay friendly with your neighbours.

For about the last 9 days, I’ve had a break from almost continuous spasms. They seemed to stop after I’d taken different antibiotics ( from my usual ones ) for the UTI I had at the time. When the spasming stopped I also began to sleep properly – for the first time in many months. Coincident with this was an awareness that I was just not ‘down’ all of the time, either. Things didn’t seem to be bothering me too much, I seemed just to be more content (which was both mystifying and a surprise).

Today, almost out of the blue, I started to feel down again, I became aware that I was missing doing normal things, and just couldn’t listen to people talking about doing things that involved being able to walk ( most things then, really ).

An hour or so later I realised from the cloudiness and sediment in my urine that I had what appears to be another UTI.

It would seem to be a logical conclusion that my depression is most certainly influenced, or even brought about, by the level of internal infection/ infestation that I have at any one time.
I’ve resumed taking the same antibiotic as last time, and will see what happens to my infection and mindset.

Russian Olympic pole vaulter champion says “she doesn’t know what all the fuss is about”.