A good friend had a big birthday party tonight in London.

Obviously I knew that by coming to France I’d miss it.

I did think about it for some time before I opted to choose trying my hand at skiing again over going to a  big night where I’d see lots of friends, plus the birthday girl.

It’s very easy ( in fact automatic now ) to convince myself that the party will be more straightforward for quite a few people if I don’t go, making my chosen option easier.

Pre injury I’d not have missed this party, no way. It’s just that now I feel odd at lots of social events. It’s not that I don’t want to go. I want very much to go. But not like this, not in this bloody wheelchair.

I’ve got a significant birthday coming up ( 30th ) but I really don’t know if I want to publicly ‘celebrate ‘ it . I thought I did a few months back, but now I’m erring on staying in and being depressed instead .. Hmmmm

I’m sure I’ve said this stuff before anyway.

So, I hope the night went well and that everyone had a fantastic time. It’ll no doubt be going on for a few hours yet, by which time I ought to be asleep. However……my bloody spasms are back – a bit different tonight – every 45 seconds or so only, but really violent ones.

I need sleep, so I hope I get some.

… started okay, as I’d  left off, or even better, and continued to be okay for 2 hours or so.

I cant tell how the snow ‘ feels’ now so I don’t know when it changes. When it did though I started crashing, and seemed totally unable to do  anything about it.

And that’s the bloody frustrating part.

I finished the day feeling extremely dejected.

Day 3 I had no instructor so haven’t gone anywhere.

It snowed a lot today, but then got warmer and seems to have significantly melted.

So ive got no idea how tomorrow will go.

Again ( as usual ) my spasms started with a vengeance at about 8pm and just kept going all night.

I did sleep for 5 hours, eventually propping myself up so I was in a sitting position in bed. That seemed to work – or at least I fell asleep. It’s not enough sleep though, not for me now.

We watched Everest last night – downloaded the film – I half watched it, as I was distracted by my legs. In 2000 Dan summited Everest – on an Army expedition – one of only 2 soldiers to get to the top on that attempt. As it happened, I was myself I’m the Himalayas doing a race called the Raid Gauloises, and I could see Everest from the Tibetan Plateau. I remember talking to him and wishing him luck ( a conversation in my head only ).

At the time the stats were very off putting – for every climber that actually made it to the top, 1 in 6 of those that did then died on the way down. For me, those odds were too short to contemplate trying it.

As I now have an expectation that things will generally go wrong for me, whatever I think in advance, it was no surprise to me that once I’d gone up in the cable car to meet my instructor,  I started to feel cold, followed by full on shivering, with little chance of warming up ( given I can’t exactly jump up and down when strapped into a fibreglass casket, outdoors in a snow storm )

Lifted out of the sitski again, and stuck back in my chair,  with 3 more coats and hot tea, it was about an hour before I felt sufficiently ok to go outdoors again.  The snow was still coming down and I gave myself about half an hour before I was frozen again.

So imagine my surprise when 3 hours later I still hadn’t even fallen over ( other than 10 feet off a chair lift ) and seemed to be in control of my ski rig to a large degree.

The soft snow gave me grip through my arm poles that I haven’t had before and made turning ( how you limit speed and control direction ) actually quite easy ( compared to previous sitski forays anyway ).

At this rate this trip could turn out a success?!

Thanks as always to Dan, to his building crew here, and to Kev Young for making this stuff possible.

From one extreme to the other.

Now snowing  like f***  and it’s deep.

Abs no idea whether sit skis are designed to work in deep snow. I fear probably not, but I’ll soon find out.

I’m in bed and getting about 2 violent jerks every second.

I wonder how long I can put up with this stuff.

Just a little respite?

All dressed up and nowhere to go.

It takes me a long time to get dressed in ski stuff and get waterproof boots on, then to  get in the car ( with Dan  – involving a 3 man effort to get me backwards down a steep ramp ) then to drive to the ski area , to find the right parking spot, only for the hard rain to render it a bad idea to sitski ( soaking and falling in wet slush on Day 1 probably not a confidence booster )

It was cancelled by mutual consent of instructor and myself, sensibly I think.

Pre injury I never missed a ski day, whatever the conditions, but now it’s different and I have to consider the likely outcomes of making the wrong choice.

Tomorrow yet more snow is forecast ( as it was today ) so we’ll  reassess in mid morning.

Today I read the latest edition of Viz instead – very, very puerile but actually still as ‘ funny ‘ as it used to be.

I’ve been up since 4am and did the 600 mile drive. , yet can’t sleep.

Thanks to Matt for being my Co.

I would have put co driver but as he didn’t then I didn’t  either.

🙂