Monthly Archives: November 2013

That Monique … She’s smart.

Events

Some men are born to courage Russ- you are one whether you chose this course or not. 

One time there was a man riding his bike who was hit by a semi In front of me and I tried to save him. I believe I told you this story. There were some amazing lessons for me in it all. One of those was the anger I felt at the time with all of these people standing around just watching. I was yelling for help and they just stood there. Granted it was messy and scary and all the rest but don’t you do everything you can? When I spoke to a psychologist because it really made me cross, she raised my awareness that some people just are not wired to handle these things. They feel bad and are frozen in what to say or how to act. They really do not know what to do or say. So don’t take it personally, it’s not you. I also no longer believe it is a conscious choice for them either. You can choose to reach out to them. Some will be relieved and respond and others will never be able to. Her words helped me to better accept the realities of social psychology. 

You are such a great person. While this accident has taken your legs it has also in my observation made you more aware, more giving, more accepting and more appreciative. At least outwardly. Those are things that will bring people closer not keep them away. 

On 2013-11-03, at 1:30 AM, “Russ” wrote:

Yeah I will, albeit sat down. X


Sent from my iPhone 7 prototype. 




I know……. You will ski again. I’ll be your biggest fan cheering you on 🙂



On 2013-11-02, at 4:28 PM, “Russ” <rdawkins2@sky.com> wrote:


I’ve got some incredible skis that I’ll never use again. 


What does it feel like?

Events

Insight time.

It’s not until it happens that you know how if ‘feels’ to have lost it. 
I think you ‘readers’ imagine that you feel ‘normal’ from head to waist, then you feel nothing below that. Or maybe you think that you feel everything but you just can’t move your legs..?
Ok, the reality is worse. 
In my case ( and there are lots worse off than me ) I am ‘normal from the top of my head pretty much down to my tummy button on my front on the left side of me. 
On the right side of me I’m normal’ ish down as far as the lower part of the right ribcage. 
I can feel the skin on my back sort of half way down my back but no lower. 
Have you ever been Scuba diving? 
If so, you’ll know what it’s liked to put a really heavy ‘weight belt’ around your waist. Ok, so that’s what it feels like all the time. Like I’ve got  a 40kg weight belt around my waist, stopping me turning it, or lifting it. And there’s no feeling. 
I’m not selling this to you, am I? 🙂
So mobility is hard!
I’m lucky enough to live in London,  where, it’s fair to say, people are ‘enlightened’ in general. In other words, so far at least, when I’m out, people smile at me, don’t ignore me, and even open doors etc for me. It’s great that it’s like that here. 
The UK is a good place to live, in a wheelchair, I’d say. 
My friends certainly don’t treat me any differently, except now they are more inclined to buy me a drink !
There are, sadly, others in my life who cannot ‘cope’ with seeing me now. 
I do find that pretty strange, given that for them nothing’s changed. The only ‘victim’ ( admittedly thro my own cycling bravado ) is me? There is definitely an element of Victorian ‘ shut the cripple away, out of sight’ that exists out there. 
Thankfully only in a few people that I know. 
It’s very sad that it’s like that for certain people, and when I get out of hospital it’ll be hard for me to put that aside in my relationships with those few. I will, however, try to rise above it and move on. 
I’ve got an ‘on line’ mate , who got injured 2 yrs ago. He said that by now most of his original friends have disappeared, ‘ having run out of sympathy ‘. I don’t think that’s gonna apply to me. I hope that I’m not going to feel the need for sympathy for much longer ( tho it’s fine if that manifests itself as free drinks 😉 as I hope to be self sufficient in a few months time. Obv there’ll be stuff I can’t do, which weigh very heavily at the moment, and spontaneous acts ( formerly my trademark ) will probably have to go.. But life should still be amusing.
It’ll be an interesting next couple of years….

Another crash.

Events

Jesus, last night I fell out of my wheelchair. 

Tipped back, smashed my head against a glass wall, slid down it ( fast ) and landed on my back, very hard 
Painful    
First thing I did: check I could still feel the bits of me I have sensation in…. I had a terrifying feeling that I’d re broken my back. 
Realising I’d not, I lay there for about 5 minutes whilst Dani and Kim, plus Jonny from next door ( summoned to my rescue) prepared to hoist me back to my chair. 
It’s not an experience I want repeated in a hurry to be honest. I’m not built up enough yet to have a lot of padding, so it was concrete on bone. 
Today my neck’s pretty sore still. 
But I’m still here. 
Jerry Fountain came last night, followed by Stu, Mandy and Ben. We had a laugh plus planned my proposed trip by train to Cardiff next month to see Wales play Australia in the Millenium Stadium. 
The Hogarth Boys and Dan, plus Stu, are gonna look after me. I couldn’t have a better bunch of guys aRound the Table if I was King Arthur himself. 
Hope to get the train up, drink beer, watch the game, and get back in one piece. It’ll be my first big adventure since my injury. 
Nervous? A little.