What does it feel like?

Insight time.

It’s not until it happens that you know how if ‘feels’ to have lost it. 
I think you ‘readers’ imagine that you feel ‘normal’ from head to waist, then you feel nothing below that. Or maybe you think that you feel everything but you just can’t move your legs..?
Ok, the reality is worse. 
In my case ( and there are lots worse off than me ) I am ‘normal from the top of my head pretty much down to my tummy button on my front on the left side of me. 
On the right side of me I’m normal’ ish down as far as the lower part of the right ribcage. 
I can feel the skin on my back sort of half way down my back but no lower. 
Have you ever been Scuba diving? 
If so, you’ll know what it’s liked to put a really heavy ‘weight belt’ around your waist. Ok, so that’s what it feels like all the time. Like I’ve got  a 40kg weight belt around my waist, stopping me turning it, or lifting it. And there’s no feeling. 
I’m not selling this to you, am I? 🙂
So mobility is hard!
I’m lucky enough to live in London,  where, it’s fair to say, people are ‘enlightened’ in general. In other words, so far at least, when I’m out, people smile at me, don’t ignore me, and even open doors etc for me. It’s great that it’s like that here. 
The UK is a good place to live, in a wheelchair, I’d say. 
My friends certainly don’t treat me any differently, except now they are more inclined to buy me a drink !
There are, sadly, others in my life who cannot ‘cope’ with seeing me now. 
I do find that pretty strange, given that for them nothing’s changed. The only ‘victim’ ( admittedly thro my own cycling bravado ) is me? There is definitely an element of Victorian ‘ shut the cripple away, out of sight’ that exists out there. 
Thankfully only in a few people that I know. 
It’s very sad that it’s like that for certain people, and when I get out of hospital it’ll be hard for me to put that aside in my relationships with those few. I will, however, try to rise above it and move on. 
I’ve got an ‘on line’ mate , who got injured 2 yrs ago. He said that by now most of his original friends have disappeared, ‘ having run out of sympathy ‘. I don’t think that’s gonna apply to me. I hope that I’m not going to feel the need for sympathy for much longer ( tho it’s fine if that manifests itself as free drinks 😉 as I hope to be self sufficient in a few months time. Obv there’ll be stuff I can’t do, which weigh very heavily at the moment, and spontaneous acts ( formerly my trademark ) will probably have to go.. But life should still be amusing.
It’ll be an interesting next couple of years….

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